Valentine's Day/Romantic Ideas?

[Haudlady]

Hello Ladies,

I'm hoping for a little help... DH and I have been married 8 years, and we are working on a 'rejuvination period.' ;) So, along those lines, I would like to surprise him by doing something nice for Valentine's Day. (We aren't very romantic, as a rule, but we would both like to change that! Anyway, we really haven't celebrated Valentine's Day in the past. But - one year I went outside in the snow and stomped down the shape of a heart outside the window! That was fun.)

Anyway... I'm looking for ideas from you. What have you done in the past?

My hope is that it can be relatively inexpensive... we're on a budget (aren't we all?).

Thanks for anything you can offer!!!

[SadieKate]

Oh no! The diamond commercials are back! Gaaaagggggg! :D

We had a funny and thoughtful thread going last year. Don't know if you'll find any ideas. Of course, slinke's homemade fudge would be good.

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=5164&highlight=valentine

[Haudlady]

Hmmm... maybe I should rethink my question, given the thread from a year ago?

How about this... an emphasis on the "Romantic" ideas, rather than specific to Valentine's Day?

We had a very good talk this weekend, and this is very important to me. We are best friends, but are both looking to feel 'closer' again. Most of the people I know are divorced; I'm looking for ideas that work!

What are the little things you do? What are the big special things? (Um, no... that's not what I meant!)

[spokewench]

I've been married for oh my gosh, almost 19 years. Anyway, things can get a little boring after a while compared to the crush of love types of feelings that you have early on in your relationship. Also, you begin to take your partner for granted.

What I try to do at least annually with my hubby is to declare some very important things:

1. That we will treat each other as we would our best friends.
2. That we will remember that we are lovers and not only best friends.
3. That we will always treat each other with respect and love.

spoke

[Veronica]

We celebrated our 20th anniversary this year.

I think we're still together because we talk. How that man can put with me sometimes is beyond me...

Neither of us is very romantic in the big gesture sort of way. But there are zillions of little things we do for each other, some daily, some spur of the moment.

I'll write more later. The class is getting restless...

V.

[Blueberry]

We've been married for 5 and together for 10.

We have a V-day tradition of going out and buying really nice stuff for dinner (still *way* cheaper than eating out) and cooking a very simple and very light dinner. Then we have strawberries and single serving (delicious!) desserts from Whole Foods. We'll also crack open a nice bottle of wine. We've gotten past the going out to restaurants - too many people:eek: Don't know if that helps or not...

[Eden]

Oh no! The diamond commercials are back! Gaaaagggggg! :D

We had a funny and thoughtful thread going last year. Don't know if you'll find any ideas. Of course, slinke's homemade fudge would be good.

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=5164&highlight=valentine

Nooooo -save me from the Benny Bears! Who ever thought up the idea that disemboweling a teddy bear was romantic deserves to never have a relationship.

(For those who do not have Ben Bridge jewlery stores in their area- the "Benny Bear" is a nice little teddy with a zipper up his tummy. To get your lovely gift one must unzip the bear and plunge ones hand into his little teddy innards thereby ripping out the nice daiamondy prize that he has been forced to swallow - I think its down right macabe)

[Meaux]

For our 1st anniversary, DH and I went and stayed in a nice hotel in Austin and rode bikes all weekend. It was great fun! We ordered room service and just spent time with each other. Why not take a long weekend and stay in? You could cook tasty food for each other and just spend time together.

[colby]

Maybe a candlelit picnic at home of your favorite homemade foods? Even if it's the same food you usually eat, the setting can make it special. Have dessert, eat picnic-style on the floor, make it different than a "normal" night. Give him a handmade card instead of a store-bought one, like we did for our parents back when we were in elementary school ;)

[light_sabe_r]

I know I'm inexperienced in the matters of "love" here... But I know what I'm doing this year for Valentines day...

Since it's summer during valentine's here, I'm gonna suprise BF with a formal dinner on our balcony. I got the idea from seeing some latern outdoor string lights covered in hearts at a gift shop on Sunday... as soon as I saw them a plan formulated in my head and I bought them!

He knows that we're having dinner at home that night, but the suprise will be the setting and the food! We'll have his favourite food: freshly cooked prawns! Hopefully I'll get a mango to make mango salad and a rich dairy free chocolate cake with soy icecream for desert! It'll be little effort on the day itself.

I'm stealing his bike this morning and taking it outside with mine and posing them together for a photo. From that I'll make a card. Way more personal than a hallmark... (unless you design cards for hallmark in which case your SO gets one of them right??)

Plus I've put in my request. BF in his high school days was a violinist. He bought me to tears with a serenade a few months ago. I want him to play for me again. That's all I really want for Valentines.

I'd like it if we could ride the river loop in the morning as well. ^_^ Just the two of us!

Anyway It's our second Valentines day together as well as our first anniversary! (which was two days before that)

I agree with CA in NC that resturants are too overcrowded... Plus you can't really celebrate with a bottle of wine cause you have to taxi it home.

Anyway Haudlady, Think back to what you guys did together when you first started going out. Drag out some photos of the two of you doing fun things together sharing the love and make him laugh...

Or if all that is too much effort, Hire an action packed DVD and make some popcorn and some choc top icecreams and plant yourselves in front of the TV for the evening.

Who said Valentines had to be extravagent???

[Bikingmomof3]

We have been married almost 16 years and do not usually buy each other gifts. We are each other's best friend and do little things for each other every day. The man is a saint for putting up with me, in all honesty. Anyway, we buy the boys little treats for Valentine's Day and that is about it.

[Bikingmomof3]

Nooooo -save me from the Benny Bears! Who ever thought up the idea that disemboweling a teddy bear was romantic deserves to never have a relationship.

(For those who do not have Ben Bridge jewlery stores in their area- the "Benny Bear" is a nice little teddy with a zipper up his tummy. To get your lovely gift one must unzip the bear and plunge ones hand into his little teddy innards thereby ripping out the nice daiamondy prize that he has been forced to swallow - I think its down right macabe)

I am very glad I do not have those commercials around here. Augh.

[makbike]

How about a helium balloon for each year you have been together. Attach a brief note to each one explaining why you love him so and to the final balloon a long love letter.

Or, how about a trail of Hersey Kisses from the door he typicaly enters when he arrives home to a distant room in your house where you have set up a nice picnic dinner or pitched a tent for some fun time indoors if the weather is not cooperating.

Or how about recreating your first date - return to the spot you met and do the date all over again and have fun!

[KnottedYet]

All I want for Valentine's is to see my honey. She's flying up here for a long weekend. Sigh.

Long-distance is tough. You want to buy them gifts, but frankly the money is better spent on airline tickets!

[salsabike]

Eden is right. The Benny Bear thing is totally disgusting.

One year I wrote Mr. Salsa a card with all the things about him that make me still think he's the coolest guy I know. (sorry about that sentence structure, but you get the idea)

[Trek420]

All I want for Valentine's is to see my honey. She's flying up here for a long weekend. Sigh.

Shall I step off the plane wearing a red bow? :p :) :D and clothes, don't worry.

and the drawn and quartered bear....yuck.

[suzieqtwa]

I've been married 16 years ,and for Valentines day we make a special dinner ,light candles ,and drink Champagne. My husband treats me like I'm his girlfriend ,he met for the first time (everyday). We don't take each other for granted. Usually we just get each other cards.

[LBTC]

DH and I have been married for 18 years, together for 23. We give each other kisses and say I love you a lot....like every time we are saying good bye or hello. And we hug a lot, and sometimes dance for no reason to no music...and neither of us is any good at it. When we walk together (except for the morning commute, we're going for speed then) we hold hands. We talk a lot - about everything. We're not particularly romantic, but we are best friends and no that our love is not separable from either of us. Soul mates. But we're still practical. :p

If I think of any idea that's half as cool a romantic evening gesture as I've already seen posted, I'll add it. And I'll keep watching for the very best thing to give my honey on Valentine's day.....

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[Brandi]

I've been married for oh my gosh, almost 19 years. Anyway, things can get a little boring after a while compared to the crush of love types of feelings that you have early on in your relationship. Also, you begin to take your partner for granted.

What I try to do at least annually with my hubby is to declare some very important things:

1. That we will treat each other as we would our best friends.
2. That we will remember that we are lovers and not only best friends.
3. That we will always treat each other with respect and love.

spoke
Well spoken! And I have to declare those things a couple times a year since I work with my husband. I had to remind dh of two of the above just today.
We celebrate it on a whim. But my favorite thing I used to do was make a giant chocolate chip cookie and a homecooked meal. My close friends make love Lasagna every year. They cook it together and share with friends.
Just do something that really says i love you from the heart. Try to do it without money but your creative mind.
My dh and I have been together for 20 years we are celebrating by going to hawaii for it this year. We felt we deserve it after all this time.

[iFKA]

I'm not married but we live together one year and we are in a relationship over 5.
here are the some gift I made for him
- 1000 origami birds (it is believed that that number of origami birds bring luck) and I wrote lovely notes on 50 of them and decorated our room with them
- I made white harts and glued a little red one in the middle of them and I decorated our walls with it. The whole house was filled with harts
- once I baked 15 pancakes (we make them very thin) and with knife I made them look like hart. In between I put chocolade so it was chocolate hartlike pancake pastry... unique, just like him ;)

And he made me one sculpture from bike weel. Inside it was filled with styrofoam and painted pink. He cut with scissors some letters and one hart from a bike tire (not inner part!). It is written inside... Ivana I love you with a little hart
Now it hangs in our bedroom :) to remind me how much effort he made just to make me happy

[Mr. Bloom]

Haudlady,

As you can see, there's lots of ideas...the question is what is right. As I read the question, my first response is "it depends"...Believe it or not, after 23 years, I've learned that what is romantic to a man is not the same to a woman and vice-verse:rolleyes: :rolleyes: It's a shame it took me 15 years to learn it:o :o :o

But, Gary Chapman wrote a book called The Five Love Languages that basically says that there are five basic ways that people express love. They are listed on this page: http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html Essentially they are:

Time
Touch
Service
Affirmation
Gifts


The answer to your question lies in an assessment of your respective "love languages".

Unfortunately, we tend to "speak" in the language WE want to receive and not in the way that OUR PARTNER wants to receive. For instance, Silver's language tends toward "Quality Time" and "Acts of Service". Therefore, sometimes the most romantic thing I can do is laundry :eek: and to sit down and actually talk to her. Silver isn't high on gifts...so if I did that, it would be for naught...unless it has "Trek" painted on the side;) ;)

Anyway, I'm rambling...Good Luck

[Haudlady]

Thank you for the lovely thoughts. I really like some of these ideas (although I can just see the trail of Hershey's Kisses now... I place them carefully, my cat Baxter looks at them and 'replaces' them to where HE thinks they belong :rolleyes: - I would be finding them for months)!

I'm not trying to sound like I'm whining here, but it has occured to me that I am surrounded by people who are not successful in their marriages. Sometimes I think it would be easier if we had a 'model' that we could look to for advice and inspiration... do you know what I mean? We are trying, though, to create our own model. I guess we have gotten into the habit of not being affectionate enough... it's been nicer since we talked... we are, I've noticed, suddenly better at a little shoulder rub, a kiss in passing, a hug before leaving. Maybe marriage is one of those things which needs constant attention, and DH and I got lazy somewhere along the way.

A few of you have mentioned 'little things' that you do every day, or on a whim (completely unrelated to any designated holiday). Would any of you be willing to share?

[Veronica]

A few thoughts...

Setting the alarm early enough that we have time to snuggle through two swats of the snooze.

Always kissing goodbye and good night.

The first person to leave for the day is always walked out by the other one.

Greeting each other when we get home at night.

Talking about our day and really listening to each other.

Thanking each other occasionally for the day to day chores we have each taken on. Thom irons my clothes, I make his lunch. He appreciates my cooking. I love it when he makes breakfast on the weekends.

Acting on the little requests. I casually mention I need an icon for some software. The next time I'm at the computer it's there.

Refilling both coffee cups, not just your own.

V.

[KnottedYet]

Oooh, the coffee thing! That's a big one for me. Refilling both coffee cups, or making the coffee and bringing a cup over.

[Brandi]

A relationship is a lot of work. No matter what. And there is always one person who puts more of an effort in then the other. I am sorry you don't have more positive role models around you. My dh and i are lucky we seem to have friends in normal relationships. And with that statement I mean they have their problems but nothing they can't handle. My husband is lazy in the romatic sence unfortunatly and sometimes I want it to be him that puts out the effort. Like Mr Silver said sometimes just doing laundry and sitting and paying attention to Mrs Silver is all she needs to warm up to him. I know when my husband does the dishes it really gets me hot (jk! thought that would be funny) no but it does make me feel like he cares. But I am still the one that makes him stop to give me a kiss or a hug and he is glad I stop him. I have a major tunnel vision man on my hands. The other day he was in some political conversation on line, didn't hear a peep out of him all day. I finally told him that night "You know I don't like it when you go away like that". He said he was sorry and that it was all for not anyway cause the person he was talking to was not going to budge on the issue no matter what he said. He snuggled with me after that. sometimes you have to be both people in the relationship to make it work. I believe in my dh and know he "goes away" sometimes. I pull him back every time. If I don't he might get lost! And he is grateful that I put up with him.

[colby]

A few of you have mentioned 'little things' that you do every day, or on a whim (completely unrelated to any designated holiday). Would any of you be willing to share?

When we travel, I can't drink carbonated beverages before I get on a plane or I feel motion sickness. My husband usually remembers this before me, and buys me juice instead of anything carbonated. Just shows me he's thinking of me, even when I'm not :)

When I go get water at work (we work in the same office), I always ask if he needs anything. Not only do I get a chance to see him, but I get to do something nice. When we eat lunch, we go back and forth on who has more time to actually make lunch -- sometimes I'm swamped and he'll do it, sometimes he's swamped and I'll do it. Sometimes we both need a break and we go out ;)

When we eat out, I spot things on the menu he might like to eat. I'm a vegetarian, he's not, but I point out things I know he'd like.

I try to encourage him in general. If I think he is good at something, I tell him. It might seem really simple, but sometimes he feels taken for granted, and by telling him "thank you" or "you did a great job on that" or "you're really good at that" it serves as a reminder that I really am paying attention ;)

There's always things we need to work on, but by paying attention to each other we have a constant reminder that we really are there.

[East Hill]

The little everyday things:

When we walk into work, we hold hands (after 13 years of being married).

He wakes up first, and brings me a cup of tea.

My husband is from a very rural background. So, my husband goes hunting. I don't object.

I also learned how to shoot a rifle. Because he wanted me to.

Every once in a while, he sees earrings that he knows I will love, so he buys them and gives them to me.

Same with books!

He doesn't complain when he sees the bike stable growing.

And he does this, just because he loves me.

What do I do? I don't nag him, or natter at him. I appreciate him for one of the nicest, kindest, most intelligent, sexy, best looking man I know.

East Hill

[Kitsune06]

Romance is something you can never lose touch with.
flowers, poems, kind words, sneaking up behind them and wrapping your arms around them, spontaneously dancing with them or whispering sweet nothings in their ears, curling up with them on the couch... they're all free, but they all mean great things when they come from the heart. The greatest thing you can offer your partner is something wholly yours... your time, your mind, your heart, your understanding. If you're not a poet, and they know it, sure you can try, and the effort will be appreciated, but if you have real skill in other areas, don't be afraid to take advantage of those. :)
That coffee thing made me have to edit. If you work similar schedules... *sigh* to me it's a 'must' to get up with my honey, even if I end up needing to go back to sleep because one of us works 1st shift, the other 2nd or something like that. Same with going to bed, if I just get home and she's got to shut down for the night, I'll curl up with her for an hour or two until she's well asleep... then do my own thing for awhile or just go to sleep despite just having gotten home. If you can't adjust your schedule around someone, it's going to be hard to adjust anything else around them. Always have to kiss goodnight or goodbye. Never go to bed angry. (yes, it eats into sleeping time, but I'd rather be tired but content in the morning than upset and well-rested) That and she could smother you in your sleep. ;) While you want to protect the ones you love; don't want them to worry too much, you have to remember that they're your partner for a reason. You support each other.
In love, actions will always speak louder than words.
...oh, and it helps to know how to kiss well. ;) It's an art. :D
Knot Agreed.
Trek Bows are nice... The best part of presents is unwrapping them. ;) *runs!*
A dirty .GIF (http://www.livejournal.com/userpic/23060478/1953632) ... because I'm a fan of gifts-with-strings-attached that way.

[chickwhorips]

i suprised my xbf one year and every day while he was at work i took and cut out hearts of all sizes and colors out of construction paper. the bigger ones i wrote some nice things on, some memories, and some naughty things. ;) then i sent him out the day of v-day and taped them all over the bedroom, essentially "heart-attacking" the room. the small ones i put from the bedroom door up to the bed and all over the bed. there i had a big big heart with "i love you" on it. he loved the whole thing.

i also made some california rolls, which they were good, but i got a little carried away with them. we had to find people to help us eat them.

[KnottedYet]

I once cut out a bunch of paper hearts, too. I had a key to my then-gf's truck, and knew where she was parked during class. While she was in class I got into her truck and covered the seat and dashboard with paper hearts.

I didn't write anything on 'em, though. that would've been a good idea!

[Kitsune06]

I'm blessed and cursed. I love giving surprises, but at the same time, I can NOT keep my mouth shut. The better it is, the worse I am about it.

~*Sigh*~

[rocknrollgirl]

We have been married going on 20, together for 27...more than half my love I have loved this man. First kiss and I was a goner.
We are blessed to be"that couple". We have the marriage that our friends and family long for.

That being said, I can assure you, it is the little things, every day. Treating this love that you have as a gift. He is my best friend, my soulmate, my lover, and my rock, and he knows it. I let him know in some small way every day. A kiss, a touch, an email, a cup of tea, the sharing of chores, training together, being supportive.


I do not know what to tell you for Valentines Day, but two years ago at Christmas, I made him a small scrapbook, with pictures of us over the years, some poems, lines from The Prophet, and a really fun page of train of thought things about him.

He loved it...it was not expensive, and very personal. If you are interested, I can tell you the name of the scrapbook that I used. It was small and not "crafty". Very clean lines, modern.

Congrats to you and the DH for keeping it together, it gets even better over time.

Let me know if you want any info. I am not crafty at all, and it came out great.

Ruth