What does turning 40 mean to you?

[Bluetree]

I'm hitting the big Four-Oh in a couple of months with some seriously mixed feelings.

On one hand, I don't feel 40, or middle aged, or whatever (except that I have less tolerance for LOUD noises and bad behavior). I'm in better shape than I was at 30, at the same weight I was at 20 and have been told I look much younger than my age. I have a successful career, great friends and a wonderful, supportive family. I have never suffered from health problems, and neither has any of my family. I consider myself a truly lucky person.

Turning 30 never bothered me... so why I am so upset at turning 40?
Does being single have anything to do with it?
The thought of my next birthday makes me sad, for some reason.

:confused: :confused: :confused:

[maillotpois]

Just turned 40. Life's still crazy, hectic, fun and unsettled. But being 40 didn't really change anything for me. Other than the new wheels I got for my birthday!

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?p=157349#post157349

Most of my close friends over the last 10 years have been mid to late 40's and older. They're all as active as I am if not more and are generally happy women, so I have good role models. There are plenty of good role models here on TE, too! :)

[suzieqtwa]

Hey Joy,
I just turned 53. Age REALLY bothers me also. I weigh the same as I did 30 years ago ,and I'm in pretty good health, and also look young for my age. I think was bothers me the most is the wrinkles ,and lines on my face (thank goodness for botox):D . I'm so much better mentally than I was in my 20s ,and 30s. Age effects all people different. I can do a lot more than some of my friends in there 30s. Before the bike, I was a runner. I ran the Portland Marathon at age 51. 40 ,and 50s are good ages to be. You sound like things are good for you ,so embrace the fact that you are healthy,and strong.
Suzie

[Veronica]

Just turned 40. I am in the best shape of my life, have a terrific supportive husband and some awesome friends.

Life is good.

I get a lot of flack from my siblings each year. I am the youngest. I've taken to reminding them that they'll always be older than me and then ask them if they want to race.

I'm always somewhat melancholy around my birthday. It's lingered on this year.

It is just a number. Getting older beats the alternative. :)

V.

[LBTC]

The 40's are the age of POWER for women! Take all of your wisdom of those years and add it to the vitality and youth you still feel and you are a force to reckoned with!

I'm looking forward to 40....it's only 10 months and a few days away....(and I intend to have Crohn's completely under control well before then, and hope to be back to the best shape I was in 2 years ago)

Hugs and butterflies!
~T~

[mimitabby]

40? for me; long long ago and far far away.

But it can be the best time of your life. and it's just a number. You've heard from a lot of us already who have told you. I know people your age who are older than me. I'm 55. You are young, healthy and beautiful.
If finding a guy is important to you, focus more attention on it. But it's not your age.

When I was 40, I was still so focussed on my kids that my health was a disaster. You're way ahead of me. Charge forward and don't look back.

[Trek420]

40? It is to laugh :D 40 was 10 years back.

My 50th b'day was kind of a disaster but I plan to have a much better time on my 51st....and from here on out.

40 you're barely just getting warmed up. And what V sed, it is just a number. Getting older beats the alternative, many don't get this far. Enjoy the ride.

[snapdragen]

I loved turning 40! Now I'm looking forward to 50....well, most of the time I am. I occasionally get an OH MY GOD moment...:D It's just a number - you are as old as you want to be.

I have this at my desk:

How old would you be, if you did not know how old you are?

[KnottedYet]

I turn 40 in a few months. I still feel like I'm 34.

30 was a relief. I was happy to turn 30. I'm kinda feeling a bit of a crisis around 40, because I'm not done being a 30-something yet.

It's just numbers, but something doesn't sit right. I'm not where I always thought I'd be at 40. (financially, socially, professionally, etc.)

[kelownagirl]

Well 40 is looking pretty good from where I am right now. But I agree with all these girls. I am happier, healthier, and smarter now that I ever was when I was in my 20's and 30's. Life really IS better as you get older. Age really IS just a number. Most of the time, in my mind, I am only 35, and often I'm only 5. :)

I think the ages ending in a 6 are the hardest for me mentally though. More like the downslide to the next big _-0. 26, 36, 46. :)

[LBTC]

...but something doesn't sit right. I'm not where I always thought I'd be at 40.

Heck, I'm not where I thought I'd be *ever*, and it turns out I *love* it here! :D

Maybe the answer to help you through is some sort of ritual. Joseph Campbell's words around this talked about how rituals, which are sadly lacking these days, were a way of providing meaning and the context of our own story to the passage of time. Perhaps something that marks the significance of having lived through those 40 years, and having become who you are now, with all of your strengths, desires, passions and flaws, is just what you need to ease yourself into the right mindspace to love 40 and love yourself at 40!

If it were me, I'd begin now, thinking about all the different aspects of my life, and I'd try to integrate each of them into the ritual somehow. Kind of like the old rhyme for a bride "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue" but with more significance for you: something bike, something healthy, etc, etc, etc...

What do you think? A possibility perhaps?

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[Thistle]

hey bluetree

i am 46 and reckon 40's rock :D dont stress the single thing (yeah, i now that's easy to say when you have a wonderful guy like mine), but i felt the same way about turning 30 that you do about 40.... and i started going out with DH a week before i turned 30 .. .sure picked up my 30th for me :D :D.

I guess my point is, i was happy on my own and wasnt looking for someone, and then poof, it just happened.

Having said all that, i would go back to my thirties for anything. I much prefer being 40 something. It's just great to be at a age where you know you matter :D. And i never felt that before my 40s.

You sound like a beautiful, healthy strong woman. Is there anything better than that no matter what age you are? Celebrate that and dont give the "number" a thought.

[Trek420]

Heck, I'm not where I thought I'd be *ever*, and it turns out I *love* it here! :D If it were me, I'd begin now, thinking about all the different aspects of my life, and I'd try to integrate each of them into the ritual somehow. Kind of like the old rhyme for a bride "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue" but with more significance for you: something bike, something healthy, etc, etc, etc...

What do you think? A possibility perhaps?

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

How about "ride your age" :) Or twice your age...in metric....backwards....each year on your birthday.

[emily_in_nc]

Ditto to everything said here already! I had a bit of a panic when I turned 40 as well, but I'm in the best shape of my life in my 40s (I'm 45 now), and people mistake me for 35 all the time. With my increased 40s fitness, I weigh what I did on my wedding day in 1985 again. I am also in much better shape financially and career-wise than in earlier decades, get to travel and do fun things, and am doing things I never thought I would do (like hiking the grand canyon, kayaking, and mountain biking!) The 40s is a very freeing decade for women, once you get past the stigma of the age thing -- it's just a number, and it's all in what you make it.

The downside of the 40s for me: losses. I felt that I led such a charmed life in my 20s and 30s in so many ways. In my 40s I've lost my last two grandparents, my father, and my dog. It's been a tough road, and as I get older, I know I face more losses of people I love ahead. :(

With age really does come wisdom and perspective, though. I like the "me" I am now much better than the younger me. I am also much more accepting of my strengths, weaknesses, quirks and neuroses. I have a much easier time just being who I am and speaking my mind. I like that. :)

Welcome to the "40s and fabulous" club!

Emily

[7rider]

I'll be turning 40 later this coming summer. Except for the fact that I was out with a busted up knee from a mtb crash, I have to say I was in better shape at 30 than at 40 - physically, at least. Emotionally, financially.... 40 is looking better.
I can't really say that I'm looking forward to, or dreading, 40. It just is. Not much I can do about it, and as someone said....it's better than the alternative!

[Mr. Bloom]

Now, I'm a man :eek:

Turning 40 to me meant that I was one day older than 39 and halfway to 80!:D

[GLC1968]

I tend to look at things a little differently than most. When I turned 30, I felt that it sounded younger than 29. When you are 29, you are almost done with your 20's. At 30, you are BARELY into your 30's and you have a whole brand new decade in front of you. At the time, I was single and unemployed and yet all I could think about was all the possibilities ahead of me!

Now I'm also coming up on turning 40 (in 13 months), and I kind of feel the same way. 39 seems like it's barely hanging on to a decade that is basically over. 40 is new and exciting. Plus, I can't wait to be able to say "I'm 40" and have peole gush over how I don't look like I'm in my 40's!! ;)

Celebrate!! :D

[IFjane]

Ditto to all - including Mr. Silver!

I am 53 & loving every minute of it. When I was 40, I weighed 36 lb. more than I do now, ate everything fat and/or fried & was miserable. When I was 45, I turned everything around (including getting a divorce that was long overdue), lost weight, got fit and haven't looked back. I am now in a wonderful, 6-year relationship with a terrific man & am having the time of my life.

80 might bother me, but so far none of the other decades have. 40 rocks - enjoy it!

[spokewench]

My early 40's were some of the best times of my life. I was fit, happy with myself, and had wonderful friends to enjoy the time with me.

Turning 40 also meant that I was at the bottom of the age group I raced in - YAHOO!

[LBTC]

Turning 40 also meant that I was at the bottom of the age group I raced in - YAHOO!

Now *that's* something to look forward to! Woohoo!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Ditto to all - including Mr. Silver!

I am 53 & loving every minute of it. When I was 40, I weighed 36 lb. more than I do now, ate everything fat and/or fried & was miserable. When I was 45, I turned everything around (including getting a divorce that was long overdue), lost weight, got fit and haven't looked back. I am now in a wonderful, 6-year relationship with a terrific man & am having the time of my life.

80 might bother me, but so far none of the other decades have. 40 rocks - enjoy it!

Wow IFJane, we have almost identical life paths! I did the same changes at 45, and now I'm almost 53 and have never been happier...or more fit.
I feel way better in EVERY way at 52 than I did at 42....or 32....or even at 22! :) My new goal is to be still healthy and active at 82.

[Velobambina]

I'll be 44 in about a month. To me, it means one year closer to retirement. :D

[HillSlugger]

I turn 46 this year and I'm happier than I've ever been.

I turned 40 between the time that my marriage broke up and before the divorce was finalized; it was not a great period in my life :( However, I got to spend the day out rock climbing on a rare 40+ degree March day. It was one of the best ways I ever spent a birth day.

I was not bothered by turning 40, nor was I bothered by the fact that I'd already been going gray for a few years. However, within 6 months of turning 40 I started needing reading glasses :eek: That was finally the thing that pushed me over the edge and I immediately started coloring my hair. Heck, it was the last thing I still had control over ;)

[IFjane]

Lisa - One thing I have found through this forum is that there are lots of us out there! I, too, hope to still be active at 82 - but maybe by then I'll need to stick to bike paths and stay off the road!

MDHillSlug - I forgot about the reading glasses! *lol* I think I needed bifocals within minutes of turning 40! :eek:

[Crankin]

Well, I have found that the "0" birthdays don't bother me, but some of the other ones do. I am 53. Thirty seems like a million years ago and I think I look a little better than I did at 40. I looked like crap at 20, but at 25 I began working out and eating right. When I was about 45-6, I started gaining weight and felt like a fat middle aged woman. I was sick of the gym and aerobics. I started cycling at 47 and got back on track. It's funny, that is probably why 45 bothered me. Most people think I look young for my age, but I have some serious wrinkles that run in my family (laugh lines) on both sides. I'd love to do Restylane, but one part of me won't spend the money and the other part says that's extremely vain. Reading glasses don't bother me though and I've been wearing them for a long time. On the other hand, it does take me longer to recover from hard riding and I definitely need long warm ups. I've had annoying age related health things that I wish I didn't have to think about. But, what I notice most is my attitude! I don't care what people think and I will speak out much more often. Little kids annoy me at times. Yes, I'm a teacher, but I am talking about little kids in public places who have parents that haven't taught them how to behave! I can picture being a grandparent now, more than being a parent of a young child. I feel pretty old at work now; a lot of the teachers are the same age as my older son (24). Though, they don't think I am old, but I definitely do not want to be out partying with them on Friday nights...
Generally, my life has been really good, except for a bad patch in my early 20s. I have a great husband and I am friends with my adult children. I'm getting to quit my job to do what I want to do this year, so I guess it's on to the next phase of life.

[AuntieK]

Thanks to all of you for your inspiring comments! DH is turning the big 4 oh in one month, and now I'll have some nicer things to say to him than, "Ha, ha you're older than me." :p (Of course he already knows that.) :rolleyes:

[Dianyla]

Hopefully turning 40 will mean that I'm finished with med school. :eek:

[emily_in_nc]

I was not bothered by turning 40, nor was I bothered by the fact that I'd already been going gray for a few years. However, within 6 months of turning 40 I started needing reading glasses :eek: That was finally the thing that pushed me over the edge and I immediately started coloring my hair. Heck, it was the last thing I still had control over ;)

Here, here! My 40s have definitely been eased by hair color, as trivial as it may sound. It does give us control over the aging process to some degree, and it makes a big difference in how youthful I look, I think. I haven't done anything else, like botox, etc, but I'm just not ready to be a silver fox, though at some point (probably when I retire), I am going to go au naturel and cut my hair short and layered too!

I still don't need reading glasses at nearly 46, though. Lucky me! My optometrist is amazed that I can still read fine in my glasses, contacts, or without them. :)

Emily

[KnottedYet]

Hopefully turning 40 will mean that I can finally start grad school. (in, uhm, 2008, which makes me 41 then, but who's counting?)

[snapdragen]

Here, here! My 40s have definitely been eased by hair color, as trivial as it may sound.

I still don't need reading glasses at nearly 46, though. Lucky me! My optometrist is amazed that I can still read fine in my glasses, contacts, or without them. :)

Emily

Pffft. I've had reading glasses since my mid-30's, and I couldn't tell you my real hair color if my life depended on it. I've been playing with the color since my 20's. :rolleyes:

[mimitabby]

Pffft. I've had reading glasses since my mid-30's, :rolleyes:

me too! but i can read a menu in a restaurant without them. Being able to color my hair has helped a little, but I'm lazy and don't color it often enough.

[snapdragen]

me too! but i can read a menu in a restaurant without them. Being able to color my hair has helped a little, but I'm lazy and don't color it often enough.

I can't read anything without 'em! My mother has better eyes than me, and she's 79!

I'm looking a little grey around the temples these days myself. The box of magic is in the bathroom; I'm too lazy to do it right now.

[Dogmama]

When I turned 40, I celebrated with a custom bike and a cross-state, 11 day ride. Totally blew my bank account, but well worth it.

[tygab]

I'm enjoying all these answers, and I too felt much better about the "0" birthday - a new decade with all kinds of hopes and such, and of course the age group bump for racing works too (now that I am going to be racing). Thanks for all the perspectives.

[Deborajen]

I'm about to turn 45 and I remember dreading the big four-oh. But it turned out to be no big deal. Forties are a great age, like a lot of the above posts describe. Awhile back, somebody posted a quote from Andy Rooney. It's worth a re-read:

Andy Rooney says:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a hoot what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends.

A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know.

A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free", here's an update for you. Now 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.



Deb

[hellosunshine]

ive 2 months to go and looking forward to it!39 is a bit bland,a bit not-quite-there like coming second.

im a bit angst that my libido has faded into insignificance,whether this is an age thing/the result of the bike/or simple switch off as theres no man in me life i duno.vibrators seem to be topic of conversation at the moment,but worryingly im still programmed to go to bed with a book!

[RAIDER MOM]

I love 40! My 30's really stunk. I was finally brave enough to get out of an abusive marriage, which turned out to be an awful divorce. Then two years later, How I did it I will never know, but I found my self in another abusive relation ship, (thank god I didnt marry the creep!) we do have a child together
and he was the best thing to happen to me in my 30's. But even that split up wasnt easy either. Then I had cancer. I felt like giving up several times but I have three of the greatest boys a mom could ever have who kept me going. Needless to say I stayed single for 4 years, I decided to give up men. But on my 40th birthday I ran into prince charming, my Dr. gave me a clean bill of health, and I joined my first spin class. Now at 41 I am happy and healthy, and I am still at the top of the hill and the world. Plus people say I look much younger. They are usually in shock when I tell them I have a 21 year old son.
And I am going to be a grandma!!! My youngest is going to be a 6 year old uncle. My middle son is 18.

[mtbdarby]

Raidar Mom - wow! What a great attitude you have with going through all you did. Congrats to you!

I'm in the turning 40 club as well - in August. I'm looking forward to it actually. It feels like a big milestone to me, almost like a rite of passage. I do feel more like a woman - what ever that means. To me, I guess it's more of a mindset and I have you ladies to thank for some of that. Biking also plays a part of that. Plus just some soul searching and working on my inner self. Now I'm adding my physical self as well. I look forward to it!

[roadie gal]

I'll be 48 in 3 weeks. Turning 40 was wonderfully freeing for me. I was officially "middle aged" that meant I didn't have to compete with the 20-somethings. I didn't have to prove anything. I could be comfortable in myself and where I was. I LOVE it!

Sure I have some wrinkles and I'm seriously going gray, but who cares? My only concession to vanity is that I've got blended bifocals instead of lines. It's no one's business but my own. And that's the most freeing part. I no longer care what others think.

I threw a HUGE party for my 40th, which is completely out of character for me. I rented out a hall and had it catered. There were almost 60 people there. It almost brought me to tears to see everyone show up.

My family is on notice that I'm going to have an even bigger one for my 50th and they'd better show up.;)

[Raindrop]

Right before turning 30, I got out of a very, very bad abusive marriage with my beautiful son. When I turned 40, I was happy sort of fit and just coasting, but shortly after went into fitness in a HUGE way. What I assumed was a fit life changed when I got heavily into body-building and eating to maintain that life so...by the age of 42, I was in the best "photo" shape of my life.

Then, after a few years of maintaining that lifestyle I went into (in addition to my business life of being an economic-analyst) getting my personal training certification, Spinning Certification and ACE fitness Trainer certification.

I eventually left my day job (the big-bucks job) to start my own in-home personal training business that I've been doing for the last four years. I'm happier, poorer, but feel good every night I go to sleep because, unlike my last career, I have the opportunity to make a difference...not matter how small or large...in someone's life, instead of just impacting the bottom line of a corporation.

Yes, sometimes I worry that those wrinkles on my neck show my age. But, I still can work beyond most of my clients abilities no matter how young they are. I'm one tough lady!!!!

[Brandi]

Hey Joy,
I just turned 53. Age REALLY bothers me also. I weigh the same as I did 30 years ago ,and I'm in pretty good health, and also look young for my age. I think was bothers me the most is the wrinkles ,and lines on my face (thank goodness for botox):D . I'm so much better mentally than I was in my 20s ,and 30s. Age effects all people different. I can do a lot more than some of my friends in there 30s. Before the bike, I was a runner. I ran the Portland Marathon at age 51. 40 ,and 50s are good ages to be. You sound like things are good for you ,so embrace the fact that you are healthy,and strong.
Suzie
Oh my gosh! You lie! You do not look 53 at all! I mean this. Look at your picture. You are so young looking. What is your secret? You look like you are maybe in your mid 30's. my husband is almost 50 and everyone says he is in he's 30's too.

[hellosunshine]

what about libido?mine has vanished!is it the age(39 and 11months)the bike or what,id rather go to bed with a book,not a terrific thing to own up to,eeek

[Meaux]

One of my bosses is turning 40 in a few months and so she decided that she'd go on a diet and start out her 40s looking as good as she wants to. I'm very proud of her. I, on the other hand, am looking a 30 in 2 1/2 years, and am SO not where I want to be. I hear that 30's are better than the 20's and the 40s are even better than that. Congrats on being 40 to all of you ladies!!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

And the 50's are even better than THAT, if you keep biking! :)

[mtkitchn]

I can't believe I'm 41. Turning 40 didn't bother me at all because I didn't believe it was happening! I never thought I'd make it to 25, the way I used to abuse myself when I was younger, so being in my 40s is all icing on the cake!
I agree with what all the other ladies have said. I'm financially and mentally and physically in good shape and am enjoying life! It's all a number and a state of mind.

[Batbike]

I like this thread; I like to read about what others are thinking when it comes to age. I just turned 43 and haven't figured it all out ... yet! I feel I am better physically, mentally, and spiritually than I was at 33, but I still have a LONG LONG LONG way to go before I can say I feel "super, wonderful, etc."I am glad I ride a bike, because it helps. :cool:

[KnottedYet]

what about libido?mine has vanished!is it the age(39 and 11months)the bike or what,id rather go to bed with a book,not a terrific thing to own up to,eeek

I was that way until I found someone I really felt comfortable with and adored. I *want* that person so much (and in so many ways other than physical) that all this libido that I thought had faded away LEAPT up and took over! Don't worry! It will all come back when the time is right. Meanwhile, enjoy your books! (Might I suggest trying a few by Douglas Adams, Tom Holt, or Terry Pratchett?)

[kelownagirl]

Yeah I can vouch for that too. Getting divorced certainly got mine back in shape...

[Aint Doody]

40?!! Who can remember 40?

[annie]

40?!! Who can remember 40?

LOL!! My thoughts exactly!

annie

[Patti37]

I turned 49 today...so I am closing in on 50.

I have never been bothered by my age. I don't like to dwell on how old I am. I want to go out there and enjoy life whatever the age brings and despite the fact I've had one specific health issue the past year that has resolved.

Enjoy each moment.

[margo49]

I was just starting to reflect on what it meant to be 40 when I got diagnosed with breast cancer.
Then when I was just starting to reflect on being 50 I got fired in a horrible way from my job that I really liked.
Then today I was looking for a new sig and found this one.
Sums it up, really

[han-grrl]

I am turning 35 in March.

I have a 5 year goal/plan

Race Elite By Forty (EBF).

This year i will attempt Master Expert (mountain biking). it will be tough with the surgery recovery, but all my buddies have now told me they are NOT letting me NOT race expert (i have been racing in the sport category for quite some time).

i am little nervous about 40, but my 30's were far better than my 20's, so i am hoping like wine, i will get better with age! :)

[Meaux]

I LOVE that you ladies are so optimistic about aging. Unfortunately, in our society the only age that is good is the young one. However, I can say that I am still confused and frustrated at 27. Maybe you will all start a movement to overturn this whole "younger is better" thing. When I hit 29, I'll come back and reanimate this thread for support. :)

[rocknrollgirl]

Freedom.....

I love being in my 40's.....the only downside for me is that it takes longer to recover from hard training, and if that is the worst of it, I will take it.

I am a better wife, daughter, sister, friend and teacher than I was 10 years ago. Compiled life experience gave me that gift, and I cherish it.

[Barb]

When I turned 40 I decided to be a kid again. I took up backpacking and hiked part of the AT. I also started riding. Now I am 43, resently single again and thinking... I am getting the hang of this! I still don't train hard, eat poorly and spend too much time alone in my house, but that is changing. I'm my mind, I am 28...now I have to convince my body of that!


This may be my new signature!!!!
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free", here's an update for you. Now 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

[Tuckervill]

Unfortunately, in our society the only age that is good is the young one.

Well, I'd say that's a matter of opinion!

There are 4 pages of posts here that disagree with yours.

Karen

[Meaux]

Well, I'd say that's a matter of opinion!

There are 4 pages of posts here that disagree with yours.

Karen

I guess what I meant was that pop culture thinks that.

[tygab]

Meaux, it's easy to see it this way, which I think makes it particularly hard to be someone transitioning out of the 20s into 'everything else.' I think the buzz/hype around youth is two-fold.

First, I think this in large part a product of the entertainment media. If you step away from the light of entertainment (including most professional sports) world, the 'real life' interactions between 20somethings and older people mostly favor the older people. The older people are usually the ones with more power, money, and stability through social bonds to family, colleagues, and social organizations. In other words, in day-to-day life, it's the older people who usually have what the younger people want [even though they might not admit it - I mean stability, ugh, that sounds so boring!].

I am in tech, and rode the Internet wave as a fresh college grad in the mid 90s. The late 90s were so interesting with the dotcom era because for a while this dynamic was tantalizingly flipped around with recent college graduates (or dropouts) or otherwise generally not qualified people left and right founding the next great thing company. Of course, why the VCs went for this so often I've no idea, but they were acting like the entertainment industry, motivated more out of fear of being left behind than what was necessary to build stability.

Well, that didn't last. It couldn't - the leadership & life experience to create organizations with longevity was largely lacking. A few companies (and their founders) made it perhaps due to a combination of luck, some truly breakthrough tech, or sheer perseverance, but most failed. And people in blue-suit traditional companies either looked on with bemusement at what was going on, or wondered if they were missing out.

The entertainment industry is one place in our society where life experience doesn't usually mean a whole lot, at least on the public side. What seems to matter most is cornering 'the next big thing' under your label, in your movie, on your team etc.

The 2nd part is I think young adults (loosely defined as late teens through mid twenties) are particularly influenced by pop culture - because at that age we are for the first time able to make our own choices yet so unsure of what choices to make. It take some time to sort this out and get on a path of any kind. Most of us will continue to reevaluate and adjust this throughout our lives, but we'll do so with some perspective and hindsight as a foundation.

I guess, what I mean is - if one wants to see a society that values youth seemingly above all else, pop culture is a ready way to do that. But if one wants to see a society that values age and wisdom and life experience, that's just as available. So, I'd ask why do you care about what the pop culture portrays ;)

[Meaux]

I don't understand why I am being attacked for complimenting everyone here. I don't particularly care about what pop culture says and thinks, I was mostly stating a point. The general culture is youth-obsessed and I think it's very sad.

[emily_in_nc]

I don't understand why I am being attacked for complimenting everyone here. I don't particularly care about what pop culture says and thinks, I was mostly stating a point. The general culture is youth-obsessed and I think it's very sad.

I agree with you! Why else would plastic surgery, Botox, etc. be so prevalent now? Because so many of us in our 40s, 50s, and beyond want to look younger, to deny who we are becoming with the passing years. I wish we could all just age in peace and not feel compelled to look 30 again. It can put a tremendous amount of pressure on those of us who choose not to go the unnatural route. Then again, who am I to talk -- as so many others on here, I color my hair.

I think the women who have posted here have amply demonstrated that aging is not such a terrible thing after all, no matter what society/pop culture might think. We're healthy, fit, and feeling good about being in our 40s+. I think the whole entertainment industry (TV/movies/music) is playing a very insidious role in our lives when so many women our age feel that we must look years younger than we are. I've got two friends in their mid 40s who have both had several cosmetic surgeries already....while I'm certainly not ready to join them, it does make me wonder if when we get together in our 50s and 60s, I'll look 10-15 years older than them. Why do I care??? Because I too am a part of this culture we live in and I can't say I am totally immune to its influence. :( For those of you who can, I applaud you!

Emily

[KnottedYet]

I used to treat patients with botched plastic surgeries. (so bad they needed physical therapy!) Plastic surgery fell way down my list of "fun things" then.

I had a friend who was a nurse for a plastic surgeon. I went to her work a couple times, and the staff (who all got free surgery as a perk) creeped me out. They looked unnatural. Too perfect to be real. The receptionist looked like she was staring into a high wind her face was so tight.

I will tell you that an active healthy woman looks "younger" than one who has had a ton of plastic surgery. Watch the way she moves, her posture, how she breathes. It's really amazing what you see once you look beyond the "beauty" the media teaches us to fixate on.

Now, I'm not knocking reconstructive plastic surgery. I'm talking the kind where a perfectly nice-looking woman decides she needs to look "better".

[tygab]

I don't understand why I am being attacked for complimenting everyone here. I don't particularly care about what pop culture says and thinks, I was mostly stating a point. The general culture is youth-obsessed and I think it's very sad.

Hi Meaux, I'm sorry if it sounded like I was attacking you, certainly did not mean to be. :confused: I guess I didn't do a good job of explaining my thoughts. I was trying to say that I think we can see what we want to see in society and focus on what we want to focus on. I see a general culture that is 'age and wisdom obsessed', at least for all things unrelated to physical appearance. So for me getting older and wiser is a good thing!

[jobob]

Well, a very Happy Birthday to you Bluetree, err, 1 day late. :o

Howya doin?

[LadyinWhite]

I just turned 42 and can honestly say I'm more content now than I've ever been. Content with who I am as a human being.

Sure - I'll continue to work on improving my career, my fitness, my cycling, my parenting, my education.. etc etc ad naseum.

BUT - right now, today, in this moment - I've accepted myself - cellulite and all. I think it takes a good 20 years past turning 20 to learn true self acceptance and how to roll with it, how not to sweat the small stuff.

Bad hair cut? It'll grow out. Burned Thanksgiving dinner? There's always next year. Disasterous family vacation? Ah well, what can you do, try again ---- or not ;)

A little life wisdom is worth the price of turning 40. I can't wait to see what I've learned by 50... 60..

:D