Mother in law coming today!

[Brandi]

Ok I looovee my mother in law more then my own mom. She is very generouse and loving but.... When she comes here I don't always know what to do with her. We are very active and well.. she is 78 and takes walks but not very far. I took her for a four block walk once and she was out of breath. We do have a lot of hills here though. Anyone have any suggestions of fun christmas games or something like that I can do with her for the next 3 days.
Tonight we are going out to our favorite Japanese resturant with her. It is tradition for us to go there right before christmas cause i do so much cooking I need the break. And I thought of maybe pulling out a christmas puzzle? I am just looking for idea's that are new or better then mine. I wish she road a bike that would be a no brainer then!

[spokewench]

We play a card game called Romoli (I think it is just like Tripoli) too.

Monopoly is fun. Get a nice concert dvd that both of you would like to sit and watch and listen.

Avoid talking politics!

I have parents in their 80's and inlaw parents with heart problems so I'm a pro about all this.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

She's 78 so complicated games of strategy can be frustrating for her.
I played dominoes with my mother in her 80's before she died in the nursing home for MONTHS- she never got tired of playing- always wanting "just one more!" game. It was actually kind of fun, and we ignored some of the complicated rules in the instructions. We also livened it up with playing for dimes and playing 3 out of 5 game "championships". :p
Also, Parcheesi is a good simple board game that is easy to follow and has elements of strategy but also lots of luck of the dice.
You might want to put on some old Bing Crosby or other traditional holiday music she can relate to.

[suzieqtwa]

I don't like my "Mother in law" at all......There is more age difference between me,and my husband, than there is between my mother in law. She had him when she was 16 ,and I married 11 years younger. I'm 53 ,and she is 60 ,and my husband is 42. I try to like her ,but just hearing her voice makes my skin crawl. Lucky for me she lives in Montana. :D

[KSH]

Well, with my own mother (61 years old), who is completely inactive (there is no way I could get her to walk 4 blocks!)... simple is good.

She likes to eat out and to sit around and chat. That makes her happy.

Why do there need to be games/outings/etc.? She might just like talking with you without all the other stuff going on.

Good luck.

[SouthernBelle]

Go for (car) ride to look at lights while playing christmas music.

Look at old family pictures, esp if there are some you don't have names for.

Ask about her childhood Christmas stories.

Sing Christmas songs. Remember, everybody used to do that.

Watch an old movie. If it's not B&W, it's not old enough.

HTH,

[mimitabby]

AK! my mother in law is coming in today too! and she's got alzheimers. She was already difficult for me to deal with when she was healthy!

eek eekekekekekeek

and DH is going on a bike ride and leaving me in charge tomorrow!!

[Chimiska]

Southern Belle: I second that idea. Do ask Mama for family stories, and if you don't have a tape recorder going, at least write them down. Ask her what was her favorite game when young, how much was gasoline when she was little, how far was it to her school, etc. etc.

And be really certain you have gone thru all your old family photographs and had her identify all that she could. WRITE IT ALL DOWN!.

You will wish you had, when she is gone. I am doing family Genealogy and did all of these things, but it wasn't enough. And now they are all gone.

Chim

[Brandi]

these are all good idea's

[doc]

"Apples to Apples" and "Taboo" are nice ageless games that I play with my kids.

[Bad JuJu]

When my dad was in the early stages of Alzheimer's and went to senior care during the day, they played bingo a lot--and all the folks just loved it. Hard to do if you don't have at least three or four players, but maybe you can scratch up some others to play.

An activity I did with my dad, before his memory got too bad, was to put all his old navy photos into an album, organized loosely into decades, and then to start asking him about each group of photos so I could write in the info. It was remarkable how much he remembered that I had never heard, like that a certain weapon created a heart-shaped pattern with the stuff it fired into the air, and that his mother had a neighbor who would leave her a little jug of corn liquor in the knothole of a tree in her yard, since his father wouldn't allow the stuff in the house. These bits of knowledge were complete revelations to me, and now we have them written down and preserved for his grandchildren.

Just some ideas.

[Duck on Wheels]

I wouldn't assume that somebody 78 would have trouble with strategy games. My mom is 84 and still "whups our a$$es" at Scrabble. But if you have several options, and games that can be played and enjoyed at many levels, then that sounds like a good idea. Maybe team-play of Trivial Pursuit? Team up you MIL with a teenager and the knowledge combination may be unbeatable to two middle-aged folks. I also second (or third, or fourth) the photo-talk idea. I'm trying to do that with my mom for an evening each time I visit now.

[Trek420]

DoW,

I treasure in my scrapbook somewhere a scorecard where I beat our parents at scrabble...once.

Mom often "scrabbles" at least once a game.

She's pretty fit for 84 although she had difficulty lifting the 25 lb watermelon she grew. She gardens again a lot now though she stopped for a while after moving to her new home and living alone. I'm glad to see she's at it again.

Aware that it's less of a "workout" with a town lot rather than her previous 3 acres she added walking to the mix. Now thinks little of walking into town to shop, volunteer or raise heck being an activist.

Fact is she walks further and faster than I do. :o

Sure she has her aches and pains however we're really lucky, Duck and I to have been spared thus far many of the rigors of the "sandwich generation".

I know this, and my Mom "won't last forever" but I asked her what she credits her health too. She credits staying active.

Other than genetic luck of the draw I think she would say to you all "Keep moving!"

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

She's pretty fit for 84 although she had difficulty lifting the 25 lb watermelon she grew. She gardens again a lot now though she stopped for a while after moving to her new home and living alone. I'm glad to see she's at it again.

Aware that it's less of a "workout" with a town lot rather than her previous 3 acres she added walking to the mix. Now thinks little of walking into town to shop, volunteer or raise heck being an activist.

Fact is she walks further and faster than I do. :o

Sure she has her aches and pains however we're really lucky, Duck and I to have been spared thus far many of the rigors of the "sandwich generation".

I know this, and my Mom "won't last forever" but I asked her what she credits her health too. She credits staying active.

Other than genetic luck of the draw I think she would say to you all "Keep moving!"

Trek that's so great!
I HOPE to be as active as your mother if I make it to 84!
My own mother died this year at the age of 84, after about 5 years of slow decline. My mother was a wonderful loving unique woman, but she was the opposite of active. Her goal for decades was to avoid exertion as much as possible. This lesson is not lost on me. I saw her couch potato lifestyle make it harder and harder for her to move around and be active or independent. Her last years were physically extremely difficult. "Keep moving" is a motto that I too have tried to keep in my life, because I want to be actively living a productive life in my 80's. Your mother sounds like an inspiration.

[Trek420]

Lisa (hugs), I'm sorry to hear about your Mom.

On the one hand our parents generation in some ways had a healthier lifestyle: no junk food, less driving, more activity as part of day to day life.

On the other hand especially for women they were not encouraged to do sports, it's seen as "unladylike".

It just so happens our Mom likes to garden and that works well for her.

Barring injury accident or piano falling from the sky or you know...who knows what's in store for us I'd like to follow in her garden clogs.

I can see that it's nice to just be able to do what you want to or need to do at that age as well as life's just precious, this way it can be both quality and quantity. But you know, who knows, life's short.

The one drawback of living well and long is seeing so many of her friends grow frail and die, that makes her sad. But then there's this....first great grandchild. :D

[Duck on Wheels]

Lisa (hugs), I'm sorry to hear about your Mom.

On the one hand our parents generation in some ways had a healthier lifestyle: no junk food, less driving, more activity as part of day to day life.

On the other hand especially for women they were not encouraged to do sports, it's seen as "unladylike".

It just so happens our Mom likes to garden and that works well for her.

Barring injury accident or piano falling from the sky or you know...who knows what's in store for us I'd like to follow in her garden clogs.

I can see that it's nice to just be able to do what you want to or need to do at that age as well as life's just precious, this way it can be both quality and quantity. But you know, who knows, life's short.

The one drawback of living well and long is seeing so many of her friends grow frail and die, that makes her sad. But then there's this....first great grandchild. :D

Oooh! Lovely picture! I hadn't seen that one before. You take it, Trek?

As for the gardening prescription for long life: It's not just gardening that does it; it's how you garden as well. Mom and Dad were early into ecologically sound gardening. They'd put all our kitchen scraps into a bucket and every day or two take it out and bury the contents somewhere under a fruit tree. While at it, Mom would dig a bit further, turning the soil and "burying" weeds as well. With a couple dozen fruit trees on 3 hilly acres, that was a lot of exercize. It also turned 3 acres of hardpan adobe into soft, fertile soil with a lush and superproductive garden. They could feed a small village of friends and relatives with this and that through half the year (beans, berries, walnuts, figs, plums, apples, oranges, guavas, tomatoes, cucumbers ...). It really hurt to sell that place, but it was too big for her alone. Now she's starting all over from hard pan adobe on a 1/4 acre lot, and already in her second summer again handing out beans, squash, melons, cucumbers, tomatoes. Just piddling about with a trowel as I do weeding a couple of flower beds ain't gonna keep me going til 84. I'll have to get serious and get out the shovel and pruning saw.

[Trek420]

There are other forms of excercise you can do all your life that you do like orienteering, cross country ski and .... cycling :D

But gardening's the only exercise I can think of that you can eat!!

[Duck on Wheels]

Brandi, How's the visit going? Has your MiL maybe had any suggestions of her own to add to the list of activities to do together with older women?