Dorky bike gifts from clueless people

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Ok, so I got a HUGE box in the mail today from Nashbar bike. I had recently gotten my helmet from them so I thought maybe I forgot that I had ordered something else? DH joked that I was so bike shopping addicted that I wasn't even remembering when I ordered things (and he had me worried, too!). I opened it and there was this dorky "Toto Bike Basket":
http://ec2.images-amazon.com/images/P/B000HGDOMI.01-A3NN9THRUBU1AW._SCMZZZZZZZ_V61161139_.gif
Gee, just like in the Wizard of Oz! I figured hmmm they sent me this by mistake. But there on the packing slip inside was my (annoying control freak) brother's name as the sender.

So here's this totally dorky basket, like I'm supposed to put this on my road bike? Does he think I'm Rebeccah of Sunnybrook Farm? Daisy Duke? First, it won't fit anyway because of my interruptor brakes and cables, not to mention my headlight. But most importantly...I wouldn't be caught dead with this lame girly accessory. I have two different-sized very nice buckle-closing waxed canvas and leather saddle bags for the back of my bike, thank you. Both carefully chosen by me for my specific taste and needs.

I had sent him a pair of SmartWool glove liners for Xmas last week- at least HE can use something like that. I try to get things for people that they can USE without imposing my own tastes on them. I don't quite get it because he used to be a very avid road biker years ago- he knows a bit about biking. He's seen my wonderful bike, we've talked biking once or twice and he knows what I do. What is he trying to say here? :confused: He doesn't have a lot of money, so I doubt he would buy it simply as a joke.

Now, I know it was nice for him to send me a present at all, but...don't you just hate when people buy things for your bike that are totally clueless?
The good news is that I can tell him it wouldn't fit on my bike anyway, and perhaps Nashbar will allow me to exchange it for something else.

sigh......

[Kimmyt]

I had mentioned to my mom that I was looking at getting a nice HRM/distance wrist computer type thing for running. They were expensive, but I was looking into it. I told her not to bother getting it for me since I wasn't sure what I wanted. For Xmas she got me a regular digital watch with lap counter (ok it was a nice timex and I needed one) and a big bulky pedometer... the kind you attache to your shoe. :( I had given her all kinds of other suggestions for things she could get me, but she insisted on getting me the thing that I said I wanted to choose for myself. Well, I ended up just discussing with her that I really didn't feel that the pedometer would be useful to me since I wanted a wristtop version specifically so that I could keep an eye on mileage and if it was on my shoe then I'd have to stop and look at my shoe frequently which would just be silly. I thanked her heartfeltedly for the gift, I really do appreciate her trying to get me something I need, and explained that I just wouldn't use it, and I would feel bad if her gift went unused. She took it very well and asked if there was something she could get me fromt he running store she got it from, and I asked for a few pairs of nice coolmax socks or an ear warmer.

In the end, we both win out by discussing it like this because no one really wants to get someone a gift that they won't enjoy.

K.

[SadieKate]

I have one of those baskets on the front of a vintage Bob Jackson mixte. It looks great running around town on errands. Now if the bike were just a tad larger and fit me. If you have a townie/errand bike, put it on that.

You can always just use the basket on the floor by the door for your gloves and helmet. It says bike all over it but doesn't have to be used on the bike.

[Bad JuJu]

I agree with SadieKate that that basket would look cute on the right kind of bike, though it's obviously not right for your sleek Rambouillet (well, obvious to us, but not to your brother, I guess). I have a metal mesh basket on the front of my neighborhood cruiser, and it's very handy.

I also agree that your basket would make a nice little piece of bike-related home decor as an alternative. Using it that way might also help you feel a little empowered against the control-freakiness of your bro, since you'd be taking his initially irritating gift and turning it into something useful and cool in your own way.

[bcipam]

Hey at least your brother made the effort - it sounds like he tried. Poor thing give him "kudos" for that.

When you call and ask if the basket can be exchanged, don't forget to tell him how thoughtful and wonderful it was for him to send you a bike related gift. You don't want to hurt his feelings cause next time, no gift at all! :rolleyes:

[ladyfish]

Well, it was good for a chuckle to me, at least. If he wasn't a road biker in the past, I'd give him a break. But since he as knowledge of the sport, it's just one of those crazy "what the cluck?" gifts.

You could start a thread on crazy gifts. I got this wierd plastic wagon looking thing one time with a pipe on one end and a metal plate on the other end. Couldn't figure out what the heck it was supposed to be. Never did. Closest I could come was some sort of cigarette holder (in the base of the big plastic pipe--smoking pipe shaped) and the metal plate was an ash tray. Well, that could work, I guess except I have never been a smoker. Still puzzles us to this day (needless to say we got rid of it very quickly).

[Trekhawk]

Personally I like it. Now all I need is that beautiful Amsterdam bike to put it on and I could get one for myself. I know sometimes we get gifts that dont leave us in raptures but hey at least he was thinking of you which is the main thing.:)

SK - I think that is a lovely idea.:)

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I do see the validness of your points about using the basket in other ways, etc. But I don't see it working for me in this case.

Our "errand bike" already has a truly useful large metal basket on the front that we hook bungees over to keep things from bouncing out. You can put a whole bag of groceries in it!

I'm afraid this little basket is too small for much of anything, even a helmet would completely fill it.
DH and I tend to dislike having baskets sitting around the house with stuff in them. Makes us claustrophobic or something. I think the best way for me to deal with this is just to thank him and tell him it won't fit on my bike with my bar brakes and try to exchange it with Nashbar for something I can actually use.
I guess it's similar to when we first bought our house together and all our excited plans about how we wanted everything to look inside, how we were going to merge together and decorate together. Some friends gave us housewarming gifts that we could use and use up- cheese, candles, flowers, dish towels...others gave us things like framed posters for the wall. Pictures to hang on the wall is something very personal that a new homeowner would want to choose themselves...I would never give something like that to someone who just got a house. DH and I had just finished selling off 1/2 of each of our houses full of belongings just so we could fit our two households into one house, plus I'm a graphic artist with decades worth of framed paintings and pictures stacked in the basement. We already had enough framed pictures and art to furnish 10 houses.

I know, it's the thought that counts.
Still...I just think it's better to give things that people can use without having to display or attach it prominently on your bike, your body, or in your house. Socks, candles, books, movies, good coffee, tea, and chocolate are always good!

In the end, I still have to wonder why my brother chose this Dorothy/Toto basket for me- it seems so odd. Must have some Freudian meaning somehow.


Hey Kimmy....take a second look at the pedometer your mom gave you before you exchange it- every pedometer I know attaches to your BELT, not to your shoe. Read the package to check on this. A pedometer company told me last year that the biggest mistake people make with pedometers is thinking they are supposed to attach them to their shoes. You won't get a proper reading on your shoe, the inner pendulum measures the subtle up/down of your torso as you walk...not the back/forward swinging of feet.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

And yes, I will be gracious after Christmas and thank him for his thoughtful gift.
I know it was a nice gesture to send me something, and I HAVE to believe he was trying to get something he thought I would like. :rolleyes: :confused: :rolleyes:

[bcipam]

My best buddy actually goes to the Hallmark store, picks out individual cards and mails them out (after adding a little message) to his friends and family. How many guys you know do that? I alway praise him alot for his effort and thoughtfulness. I actually have 3 male friends who send out cards each year. Each is in his 40's and unmarried. Mmmmmmm, should I be worried? :rolleyes:

PS: That good buddy also, for my Christmas present, spent who knows how many hours, cleaning and shining up my MTBike. It's nicer looking now than when I bought it. He didn't spend a dime and I couldn't have gotten a nicer persent! What a sweetie (in that platonic I love you like a brother way).

[bcipam]

I have one of those baskets on the front of a vintage Bob Jackson mixte. It looks great running around town on errands. Now if the bike were just a tad larger and fit me. If you have a townie/errand bike, put it on that.

You can always just use the basket on the floor by the door for your gloves and helmet. It says bike all over it but doesn't have to be used on the bike.

I agree SK - cool idea!!!! Now I want one!!!!

[Eden]

When my hubby was in high school he asked for panniers for Christmas once - his grandma got him a nice little white plastic basket with nice plastic flowers on it. I'm betting you all know exactly what I mean. Some people just don't understand.....

[jobob]

Eh, could have been worse, he could have given you Maxi-pad slippers.

still giggling over that one...

[SadieKate]

Or this (http://www.zuss.com/).

[Aint Doody]

Hey, Lisa, what about donating it to Salvation Army or Toys for Tots or something like that for a child's bike? Or do you have a niece or somebody like that who'd like it on a child's bike?--Regift????

[Eden]

Or this (http://www.zuss.com/).

interesting use for recycled inner tubes.....

this one (http://alchemygoods.com/messenger.html) is a little more practical and our local shops collect tubes for them.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Here's maybe how my brother thinks of my biking:
http://www.manhattancruisers.com/Images/Bike_Images/MID05/mid-lil-daisy.jpg
:cool:

[Eden]

Here's maybe how my brother thinks of my biking:
http://www.manhattancruisers.com/Images/Bike_Images/MID05/mid-lil-daisy.jpg
:cool:

That's the basket!

[snapdragen]

Or this (http://www.zuss.com/).

Finally! Someplace to shop for that special New Year's Eve outfit!

[KnottedYet]

Hmmmm, and I thought Stormy Leather's products were interesting.... :eek:

[tygab]

Finally! Someplace to shop for that special New Year's Eve outfit!

wow, all I can say is I am going to the wrong NYE parties. ;)

[oh and for the brave, type in "new year's eve outfit" in google, then click images. Some very interesting results.]

[SadieKate]

Wonder how easy it is to knit with strips of recycled inner toobes.

[Grog]

Here's maybe how my brother thinks of my biking:
http://www.manhattancruisers.com/Images/Bike_Images/MID05/mid-lil-daisy.jpg
:cool:

Well my city bike (featured here: http://www.mielebicycles.com/Une_vie_un_velo/chronique04.asp) does look a bit like that!!!

I have a really cool dring-dring bell too, "chat" on this page: http://www.dringdring.ca/31113069-C5CB-11DA-8451-0011243103BA.html

My mom gave me streamers but I couldn't figure out how to put them on my bike, and I thought it might be a bit too much...

I was a tomboy for the first 25 years of my life, still am most of the day, so I assume this little girly side of mine.

[Bad JuJu]

Here's maybe how my brother thinks of my biking:
http://www.manhattancruisers.com/Images/Bike_Images/MID05/mid-lil-daisy.jpg
:cool:

LOL! At least he didn't send you THAT basket! :eek:

[jobob]

neat site, Grog!

[KSH]

WOW! That is horrible. Absolutely horrible.

It's kind of upsetting when people who we think know us... obviously don't know us at all. You would hope that he would know you enough (and maybe take a look at you and your bike), and understand why that is something you would NEVER use.

I know it's the thought that counts... but I too hate when people waste money on me... buying me something that I will only take to Goodwill. Why waste money like that?

Oh well, at least you can return it. :cool:

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I know it's the thought that counts... but I too hate when people waste money on me... buying me something that I will only take to Goodwill. Why waste money like that?

Oh well, at least you can return it. :cool:

I was thinking about returning it. It's a $20 item, but then I'd have to spend at least $5 to send it back to NashBar, and then I'd have to pay shipping on whatever other item I exchange it for. So that would cost another $5-7.Toys for Tots would wrap it and give it to a girl who might not even have a bike. Salvation Army would just sell it.
I'm thinking I should give it to another TE member with a cruiser bike who might really want it and use it. Don't you think? I would feel better about doing something like that.
Here is the product info on it:
http://www.nashbar.com/profile.cfm?category=&subcategory=&brand=&sku=15232&storetype=&estoreid=&pagename=Show%20All%20Products
It has a part that is attached to your stem, and then the basket itself can clip on and off for when you want to take the basket into the store with (or chase after Toto with it).
If anyone on this thread thinks they can actually use it, I would be willing to send it to them free (within the U.S. only though, it's a BIG honkin' box!)

If no one on this thread wants it first, then I'll wait a day or two and then post it on the TE "For Sale" thread, where I'll give it away there to a TE member.

[li10up]

Lisa, I'm not making any judgments about your brother, I don't even know him, so please don't think I'm judging. I just think people do everything for a reason. It may be subconscious, but there is a reason behind it. When people who know you give gifts that don't "fit" you there may be an unspoken message. Maybe he is jealous of your riding or upset with himself that he gave it up for whatever reason. Maybe this is his subconscious "getting even" with you or trying to minimize your cycling. I'm sure that some are done just because the giver is a little ignorant (I don't mean that in a bad way) about what the receiver really would like...as in the case of the pedometer. Maybe you should encourage him to get back into riding? Anyhow these are just my thoughts on this. You get what you pay for, right? :) May all your other gifts be just what you'd like. Happy Holidays!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Lisa, I'm not making any judgments about your brother, I don't even know him, so please don't think I'm judging. I just think people do everything for a reason. It may be subconscious, but there is a reason behind it. When people who know you give gifts that don't "fit" you there may be an unspoken message. Maybe he is jealous of your riding or upset with himself that he gave it up for whatever reason. Maybe this is his subconscious "getting even" with you or trying to minimize your cycling. I'm sure that some are done just because the giver is a little ignorant (I don't mean that in a bad way) about what the receiver really would like...as in the case of the pedometer. Maybe you should encourage him to get back into riding? Anyhow these are just my thoughts on this. You get what you pay for, right? :) May all your other gifts be just what you'd like. Happy Holidays!

Lighten,
I agree with you. I think it's a combination of him not being able to "get" who I am and what I do, and also his need to be in a mental power position, maintaining his faded "roadie" image by promoting my "little sister on her Schwinn" status of 40 years ago. Doesn't really bother me too much but he totally wasted his money, and he often talks of not having enough money anymore. It also put me in the position of perhaps having to explain why I won't be putting it on my bike (if he asks me).
I did encourage him to ride more again when he was here this summer. His still has his old old Myata which he loves. He keeps it in good shape (unlike his body...he's sort of a heart attack waiting to happen- too sad).
He doesn't "get" why I got my lugged steel road bike (you could get a 7 pound less carbon frame! You have to lower your handlebars!)
It's very hard to talk with him because he cuts you off if you are not saying something that agrees with him. After he's said his peace about something, he's really not interested in others' ideas about it. I could go on, but I'll refrain! :o :(

[HappyAnika]

Oh YES! I had one of those white plastic baskets with the plastic flowers on my first two bikes. Loved them!

I don't like it when people (my mother) send me things that I can't use/don't like/don't fit and are unreturnable. I hate to see them waste their hard earned money. I also dislike buying presents for people when I don't have a good idea of they want or need, I don't want something I spent money on to end up in the trash. Gift cards, I love them. They may be impersonal, but they aren't a waste of money. I would much rather my sister in-law who lives 2000 miles away and I see once every two years get me a gift card than a hideous ill-fitting sweater or gawdy earrings . . .

[KSH]

Doesn't really bother me too much but he totally wasted his money, and he often talks of not having enough money anymore.


I was thinking about returning it. It's a $20 item

Well, he didn't really break the bank on this one. Honestly, for a cycling related item, it was pretty inexpensive.

[Aint Doody]

Lisa, I might want the basket for my old Schwinn 5 speed that lives at our store. I run to the bank, PO, accountant on her. I've had her since 1973, and I put some pictures of her in another post. The basket on her is sorta smashed--happened when I moved from Mississippi to Oregon. Sooooo if nobody else wants her, I'll happily take it. And I'll even pay for the shipping. If you change your mind, that's OK.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Dood,
Do you think you have a good spot on your stem in front to attach the bracket/band gizmo?

[Kitsune06]

I suppose I need to preface this post with the statement that this is my personal opinion. Nothing more, nothing less. The gift should be taken with the sincerity with which it was given. If he really, genuinely expected you to love and adore that basket, then the basket itself is not the gift- it's merely a physical manifestation of that very real love for you. However, if it was a fun gag gift, then sure, play along, give it away, use it as a white elephant gift, whatever...
But it really, really bugs me when people cannot accept things graciously OR when they do so but turn around and say to others "Can you BELIEVE this...?" It's a simple lack of real respect and a shallow action in general.
My suggestion would be to thank him and use it as a part of a bike-related decoration in your house. Let it hold a floral bouquet, potpourri, or various woollens.
I ask everyone to retain their grace and tact this year, in light of others cluelessness and dorkdom. If they bother to get you anything at all, it means they care about you.
End of story. Get over it. You're not a child. Lucky, because an unappreciative child is generally regarded as 'spoiled'.
Some peoples' children... :rolleyes:

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Hmmm...having a bad hair day?

[Triskeliongirl]

I suppose I need to preface this post with the statement that this is my personal opinion. Nothing more, nothing less. The gift should be taken with the sincerity with which it was given. If he really, genuinely expected you to love and adore that basket, then the basket itself is not the gift- it's merely a physical manifestation of that very real love for you. However, if it was a fun gag gift, then sure, play along, give it away, use it as a white elephant gift, whatever... :

I hestitated posting to this one, but I agree. I also find it interesting that you are over-reacting so much. I think what's got your gourd is that he doesn't get why you prefer a lugged steel rivendell over a carbon racing bike. But part of not getting it is thinking the basket suits the bike. But I don't think he is trying to put you down, I think he is just doing his best to give you a gift he thought you would like. I second the idea of making it into a decoration, it could hold flowers, mail, all sorts of things. Just my 2 cents.

[Kitsune06]

Hmmm...having a bad hair day?

No, just finding a lack of understanding uncomfortably chafing my christmassy goodwill. I'm sure you understand.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

...I think what's got your gourd is that he doesn't get why you prefer a lugged steel rivendell over a carbon racing bike....I second the idea of making it into a decoration, it could hold flowers, mail, all sorts of things. Just my 2 cents.

What gets my gourd is not that he doesn't "get" my bike, but that he can't be bothered to spend the time talking to me for long enough to get ME. He engages in one way conversations that get abruptly terminated as soon as HE is done talking with a "Well I gotta go now!"
I certainly can't expect anyone to understand the background of my brother's behavior because I didn't elaborate on it. Suffice it to say he has "issues" that push people away.

I do appreciate the suggestions of using the basket as a decorative or practical item in my house, but again speaking honestly, I don't like or use baskets as decoration or as containers. I feel it would be better to give it to someone would would like it and could actually use it.
And again, as I said before, I will thank him politely for the gift, but I would have to be honest and tell him if he asks that it wouldn't fit on my bike in any case (which is true), and that I gave it to someone who could use it.

[Bluetree]

At least your family members make an effort! :o

My brother never understood me at all. But after years of apparel that was ugly or didn't fit, CDs that sucked, a baby car seat (I don't have kids), plastic plants, a fur hat (in California?), a tote bag with spongy faces that laughed when you pressed them, a giant gong (don't ask) and PC software (I'm on a Mac), dear old bro now gives me the Same Old Thing every year, just like clockwork... a $100 gift certificate to Nordstrom.

He still doesn't "get" me and probably never will, but I'll go shopping any day. :D

[Trekhawk]

At least your family members make an effort! :o

My brother never understood me at all. But after years of apparel that was ugly or didn't fit, CDs that sucked, a baby car seat (I don't have kids)

LOL - a baby car seat and no kids - now that would seem a little weird.

Kitsune - I love your Xmas spirit.:)

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Kitsune - I love your Xmas spirit.:)

Indeed, grace and tact are qualities we should all exhibit.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

My brother never understood me at all. But after years of apparel that was ugly or didn't fit, CDs that sucked, a baby car seat (I don't have kids), plastic plants, a fur hat (in California?), a tote bag with spongy faces that laughed when you pressed them, a giant gong (don't ask) and PC software (I'm on a Mac), dear old bro now gives me the Same Old Thing every year, just like clockwork... a $100 gift certificate to Nordstrom.

Ok, those are some REALLY WEIRD gifts!!! :eek: :eek:

[snapdragen]

+1!


I suppose I need to preface this post with the statement that this is my personal opinion. Nothing more, nothing less. The gift should be taken with the sincerity with which it was given. If he really, genuinely expected you to love and adore that basket, then the basket itself is not the gift- it's merely a physical manifestation of that very real love for you. However, if it was a fun gag gift, then sure, play along, give it away, use it as a white elephant gift, whatever...
But it really, really bugs me when people cannot accept things graciously OR when they do so but turn around and say to others "Can you BELIEVE this...?" It's a simple lack of real respect and a shallow action in general.
My suggestion would be to thank him and use it as a part of a bike-related decoration in your house. Let it hold a floral bouquet, potpourri, or various woollens.
I ask everyone to retain their grace and tact this year, in light of others cluelessness and dorkdom. If they bother to get you anything at all, it means they care about you.
End of story. Get over it. You're not a child. Lucky, because an unappreciative child is generally regarded as 'spoiled'.
Some peoples' children... :rolleyes:

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

What does "+1!" mean?

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

But it really, really bugs me when people cannot accept things graciously OR when they do so but turn around and say to others "Can you BELIEVE this...?" It's a simple lack of real respect and a shallow action in general....
...I ask everyone to retain their grace and tact this year, in light of others cluelessness and dorkdom. If they bother to get you anything at all, it means they care about you.
End of story. Get over it. You're not a child. Lucky, because an unappreciative child is generally regarded as 'spoiled'.
Some peoples' children... :rolleyes:

You have some good points. We should NEVER complain about a present that is inappropriate that we will never use. However as human beings we sometimes can't resist, and I suspect I am neither the first nor the last to complain about an odd holiday gift.
But if you're going to berate someone for their lack of respect, grace, and tact, then perhaps it would be more effective if you demonstrated those same qualities in your message. There were many ways to say the same thing in a more polite, kind, and friendly way, and doing that would have demonstrated the kind of holiday spirit I believe you were trying to convey.

Indeed I am not a child, I've been around the block a few times, my young friend. In general, I don't think of myself as a bitter complaining person, but rather I try hard every day of my life to be usually positive, considerate and thoughtful.

Many are the threads on this forum where we biking sisters can feel free to complain once and a while about things that irk us- an LBS or clueless bike salesman, our difficult family members, crazed drivers, snobbish roadies, partners or relationships that are frustrating us, crappy merchandise, lousy jobs and obnoxious bosses, cheap holiday bonuses, poor service. Mostly I see that this does not result in being compared to an unappreciative spoiled child and being told to "Get over it."
I thought long and hard before I wrote this, and I wrote it carefully because i didn't want to seem rude, but my feelings were hurt by your harse words and I felt I needed to express that in order to feel better.

Hoping all TE women have a holiday full of hope and joy....
Lisa

[Dianyla]

What does "+1!" mean?
It's like saying "Me too" to a previous post. Basically, add one more vote to the pile. :)

[fixedgeargirl]

It's about your relationship with your brother. He may be a boorish control freak, but you're never going to change that. He's probably always going to give you obnoxious gifts, and run over you in conversation. The only thing you can change is you, and how you react to him and his actions. It's something I'm working on, myself. It's not easy, but it is ultimately freeing. Best wishes.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

It's about your relationship with your brother. He may be a boorish control freak, but you're never going to change that. He's probably always going to give you obnoxious gifts, and run over you in conversation. The only thing you can change is you, and how you react to him and his actions. It's something I'm working on, myself. It's not easy, but it is ultimately freeing. Best wishes.

Fixedgeargirl,
Indeed it definitely IS about my relationship with my brother! If someone who didn't know me at all sent it to me I'd laugh and not think twice about it. Like people who get ugly ties every year for Xmas. Instead it's another reminder that he is so unaware of who I am and doesn't listen when I try to express to him who I am, what I think, feel...
But don't get me wrong- I'm not like losing sleep over this dumb basket!! :rolleyes: I've had to deal with lots of weird gestures from him over the years. :o

DH also assures me that he'll never change, and I've learned the hard way over the years to simply skirt the issues with him and fake my way through the "family visits" so as to avoid new problems. It's sad, but he can't deal with close honest communication. My other brother is so different, by the way, so open, and he and I have no trouble at all getting along wonderfully. I feel very lucky about that.
Thanks for your good wishes and wise words. :)

[kjay]

Sounds more like a joke to me . . . or maybe he's hoping you'll get a brand new tiny puppy to put in your new Toto basket? ;)

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Sounds more like a joke to me . . . or maybe he's hoping you'll get a brand new tiny puppy to put in your new Toto basket? ;)

Like this, maybe? :D :D :D
2412

[Running Mommy]

I had a package waiting on my doorstap today from a place called "art of appreciation". I opened it and found your standard "gift for a client" type gift tower. It was shaped like a snowman. It was one of those box towers that has some stale food item in each box. I looked at the card expecting to see a clients name on it, and found that it was from my sister in law.
I was saddened by the lack of thought that went into the gift. To me the gift is all about the thought, and clearly she put none into it. I actually would have rather recieved nothing. The trans fat laden "goodies" will end up next to the coffee machine at work.
Yeah it's still a gift, but I have the feeling it was one given out of guilt or something. I looked at the invoice and noted that the gift was ordered the day that she rcvd my package from fed ex.
I don't want people to feel pressured to give me a gift. I give gifts because I care about the people I'm giving them to.

When I thought about what to get her for christmas I remembered that she took pictures of the eggplant she grew last summer, so I decided to get her some heirloom seeds for her garden. I went online and found the seed company that martha stewart uses and bought from them. I browsed for a good while making sure that I was buying something that would grow in her zone in Oregon. I also got her some nice nursery grade plant stakes/markers and a cool gardening book. It wasn't a very extravagant gift by any means, but it was something I thought she could use. I even put a note inside explaining the thought behind the gift, because I thought she might find it silly that I sent her seeds.
To me receiving that mass produced bought in a moment of "oh sheat I guess I need to send her a gift now too" panic mean't I'm really not worth her time or effort. I guess it hurt my feelings to know that I'm not worth her time.

And for the record- Yes I appreciate gifts- when people put thought into them. But like others have said, if you can't think of something meaningful to give then maybe you shouldn't give at all. We all have enough useless clutter!
To me the best gifts are handmade, and if not handmade then anything that I know someone truely put thought into. My friends mom once knitted me this silly pink beanie to wear while I run. It even has ear flaps. Some would call it hideous, but I love it because I know when she was knitting it she had me in mind. Thats what counts. I have tons of those silly gifts that I cherish because there is love behind them.
sigh...
Anyway, I hope you all get meaningful gifts this holiday season! Stay safe out there!!
Merry Merry and HO HO HO!
Denise:)

and to those who think I'm ungrateful, I don't even want to hear it.... If you only knew me.

[kjay]

Lisa, I couldn't have wished for a better image. Very cute and exactly what I was thinking. :D

[snapdragen]

Like this, maybe? :D :D :D
2412


Whoa, is that a doggie or a furry dragon?:D

[SadieKate]

I think we can all agree that we’ve all received gifts that made us go “huh?” For instance, I have friends and family members who give me guardian angel junk and twinkly jewelry every year, which someone may treasure but I sure don’t. I just say thank you and move on, but where I can I try to get these people to agree to exchange no gifts or, better yet, donate. DONATE! Items, money or time. It doesn’t matter, but none of those things need me to dust it and the recipient sure won’t be complaining about it.

Our family owns a farm in Illinois which is managed by a farm management company and operated by a tenant. Finally this year, after what seems an interminable time, we got the management firm to donate in our name to Heifer International (http://www.heifer.org/site/c.edJRKQNiFiG/b.183217/)rather than send us another mug or stale food item. We all feel good. None of us need anything but there are many others who do. Matter of fact, we exchange material gifts with very few now as we instead try to exchange the gift of each others’ friendship and love.

So, if you are not counting on a gift due to need (hey, a set of new car tires when you’re a starving college student is welcome!), encourage your family and friends to donate to particular charities. Bring joy to others and it will return to you.

[salsabike]

I think we can all agree that we’ve all received gifts that made us go “huh?” For instance, I have friends and family members who give me guardian angel junk and twinkly jewelry every year, which someone may treasure but I sure don’t. I just say thank you and move on, but where I can I try to get these people to agree to exchange no gifts or, better yet, donate. DONATE! Items, money or time. It doesn’t matter, but none of those things need me to dust it and the recipient sure won’t be complaining about it.

Our family owns a farm in Illinois which is managed by a farm management company and operated by a tenant. Finally this year, after what seems an interminable time, we got the management firm to donate in our name to Heifer International (http://www.heifer.org/site/c.edJRKQNiFiG/b.183217/)rather than send us another mug or stale food item. We all feel good. None of us need anything but there are many others who do. Matter of fact, we exchange material gifts with very few now as we instead try to exchange the gift of each others’ friendship and love.

So, if you are not counting on a gift due to need (hey, a set of new car tires when you’re a starving college student is welcome!), encourage your family and friends to donate to particular charities. Bring joy to others and it will return to you.

Ah, nicely said.

[salsabike]

Like this, maybe? :D :D :D
2412

And actually I think you found the perfect use for the basket. Mr. Monster looks right at home in there. You could hang it on your front door to greet us all and give us a laugh.

S'okay, you guys. We all struggle to understand such stuff. People for the most part are doing the best they can---however limited it may be/seem.

[Bluetree]

It could have been worse. He could have gotten you these...

http://cgi.ebay.com/Castelli-Gold-Lame-Cycling-Shorts-SZ-Med_W0QQitemZ280063052708QQihZ018QQcategoryZ137085QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Would these be considered safety/reflective? ;)

[jobob]

Stylin' ! :cool:

[lph]

I guess MAYBE... just maybe... Julia Roberts could get away with wearing those, in Pretty Woman.

And then again, maybe not :D

Interesting thread though, touches on a whole lot of the angst around gift-giving and -receiving, which as somebody astutely pointed out, is not about the gift, but about the relationship to the giftgiver.

My mother has lived abroad in winter for many years, and has in general displayed an enormous lack of interest in the family. Several Christmases running she got a friend of hers here to buy me a Christmas present - a huge box of chocolates of the most generic brand available. Sure, she meant well, sure, the chocolates tasted good, but still - I was sad and pissed off every year by the complete lack of thought that went into it. It's the kind of gift you buy the postman.

I finally piped up about it, and now we just exchange e-cards. Which is so much better, as we actually exchange some good wishes and real thoughts...

[Tri Girl]

Now I feel guilty because I think I'm the one you're referring to when you say you receive gifts that have little or no meaning. I'm the crappy gift giver...:( but I try, I really do.

Here's why
I admit one thing: I HATE buying people gifts. Not because I'm poor or because I don't like giving to others, or because I don't truly know and love the people I buy for, but because I never feel like the gift I give will be good enough. Even when buying gifts from the Salvation Army Christmas tree for needy children that I'll never meet- I have the hardest time picking things out that I think people will like (and these are people I've never met- it's even harder to "please" the people I know and love). And you can say, "I'm sure they'll love it because it's the thought that counts", but from these discussions, sometimes they don't and they hate it.

I've never been the person who says "I know the perfect gift for so and so" or been in a store and said "so and so would love that." It's so hard for me to think of meaningful gifts for people, so often I'm the one who sends the crappy box tower or buys the cheesy gift that somewhat goes with things someone likes (like the basket- seriously- that basket could've been from me). Shopping is torture for me. Instead of getting the fuzzy "I'm doing something good" feeling, I'm stressed trying to find something, anything, that they'll remotely like. I wish I could be like RM and remember the time her SIL took pictures of the eggplant she grew and got her vintage seeds. That's awesome! I sooooo wish I could be like that. I've tried to jot things down about the people I love, but I can just never find things that are "perfect" or sentimental or meaningful. I truly try... really...

So, when you get a crappy gift from someone you love, please be kind. Perhaps they're a terrible shopper with no clue what to buy you (like me). I try, I really do. I spend 2 months thinking of gifts for Christmas and always wind up with something "cruddy" for people.
Lately I've started painting for people. They're not paintings worth anything, but at least I try to pick scenes they might like. But even then, art is truly in the eye of the beholder, and I might love it, but they might think "where am I going to hang this crap?"

I'd rather just never exchange gifts....it's too stressful, and has truly taken the fun out of Christmas for me as an adult.
Ok- I'm ready for everyone to pounce on me. I can take it...


by the way- those shorts are HIDEOUS! I wonder if I can get them for my cycling friend... just kidding.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Whoa, is that a doggie or a furry dragon?:D

It's Toto's evil twin, Moto. And it bit Glinda on the ankle.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

It could have been worse. He could have gotten you these...

http://cgi.ebay.com/Castelli-Gold-Lame-Cycling-Shorts-SZ-Med_W0QQitemZ280063052708QQihZ018QQcategoryZ137085QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Would these be considered safety/reflective? ;)

Oh my GOD. Noyt sure about the "safety shorts" idea- seems to me they might cause a few accidents on the road...

[Bikingmomof3]

(((((Tri Girl))))) It truly is, IMO, the thought that counts. If you saw my house you would see how eclectic it is. Mainly due to many gifts from friends I treasure and who thought enough of me to send me a gift. :) Ask X and Kit about my Santa riding a crow. I love it. A friend made it with her hands and it has a special place in my heart. For what it is worth, I love homemade gifts and I imagine your paintings will be well received. :)

[wannaduacentury]

To me the best gifts are handmade, and if not handmade then anything that I know someone truely put thought into. My friends mom once knitted me this silly pink beanie to wear while I run. It even has ear flaps. Some would call it hideous, but I love it because I know when she was knitting it she had me in mind. Thats what counts. I have tons of those silly gifts that I cherish because there is love behind them.
sigh...

I know what you mean. I made my 2 youngest s-i-l's scarves about 2 xmas's ago(chenille too-in the color of their choice)and While I know they liked them, I haven't seen them wear them yet. and yes it gets cold in Ga to wear them. My m-i-l bought some mohair yarn to make another s-i-l(married to b-i-l) a scarf and I made it and she sent it and she did cartwheels over it b/c someone made it for her. So I guess it's the difference in person or some folks just don't realize how much effort goes into making things. I love my sil, I'll just make things for those that appreciate the time I put to make them and give them something else they may like. Jennifer

[lph]

Lately I've started painting for people. They're not paintings worth anything, but at least I try to pick scenes they might like.

Oh Tri Girl, you're nothing like what I meant! I don't mind "crappy" (i.e. inappropriate, useless, not-my-type-of-thing) presents, if they come from someone who truly doesn't know me that well, or who obviously means well but just has different taste. I get presents like that all the time, from neighbours, or my mother-in-law or whatever, and they just make me smile. In fact gifts like these are sometimes the ones that make most happy, because they turn up out of the blue from someone unexpected :-)

Honest - if my mother had made me anything, ever, by hand, I would treasure it even if it were pink earwarmers with little gold piglets on...

And fwiw, I was brought up (by her...) to never, ever criticize a gift, so it took me years to pipe up that I would in fact just prefer a nice card.

[jobob]

I'd rather just never exchange gifts....it's too stressful, and has truly taken the fun out of Christmas for me as an adult.
Ok- I'm ready for everyone to pounce on me. I can take it...

You kidding?!? Leebob's and my families have declared a moratorium on Christmas gifts, for which I am eternally grateful. We don't do Christmas gifts for adults, plain and simple. And our Christmas is blissfully stress-free.

[KnottedYet]

You kidding?!? Leebob's and my families have declared a moratorium on Christmas gifts, for which I am eternally grateful. We don't do Christmas gifts for adults, plain and simple. And our Christmas is blissfully stress-free.

that sounds PERFECT! Presents for kids, and really that's what Christmas presents started out as in the first place.

when did it turn into big screen TV's and XBoxes and "bigger and better" expensive shtuff like that?

Oh, and food. gotta have the food. Food is good. And parties. With food.

[jobob]

Oh, and food. gotta have the food. Food is good. And parties. With food.
Oh, but of course !

[mimitabby]

It could have been worse. He could have gotten you these...

http://cgi.ebay.com/Castelli-Gold-Lame-Cycling-Shorts-SZ-Med_W0QQitemZ280063052708QQihZ018QQcategoryZ137085QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Would these be considered safety/reflective? ;)

GOsh, if they weren't wanting 60 bucks for a starting bid
I would love to bid on them.. like 5 or 10 bucks, they'd be a hoot!

[Tri Girl]

You kidding?!? Leebob's and my families have declared a moratorium on Christmas gifts, for which I am eternally grateful. We don't do Christmas gifts for adults, plain and simple. And our Christmas is blissfully stress-free.

I love that idea. Actually, it's what our families decided to do this year. We figure that as adults when we want something, we get it. It's not like when you were a kid and you didn't earn money and actually had to "depend" on the kindness of others to get you what you wanted. When we want something, we buy it- so it seems silly to get gifts anyway.

Plus, I like what you said about the kids getting gifts. That's all the fun of Christmas anyway- the excitement on their faces, and the thrill when they get something they really, really wanted.

All my friends think I'm scroog-y this time of year, and it's not that (I like to think I'm a giving, caring person), but shopping for friends/family just stresses me out...:)


and Mimitabby- I'm with you. I'd bid on them if they weren't so crazy expensive. Really, who's going to give up $60+ for THOSE shorts. I'd wear them as a prank on our annual Christmas light ride if they were cheap- it would make everyone laugh so hard they'd be crashing left and right.

[fixedgeargirl]

It could have been worse. He could have gotten you these...

http://cgi.ebay.com/Castelli-Gold-Lame-Cycling-Shorts-SZ-Med_W0QQitemZ280063052708QQihZ018QQcategoryZ137085QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Would these be considered safety/reflective? ;)


Those are fantastic! Wish they were my size! Oh, and a lot cheaper :rolleyes: .

[DirtDiva]

I really like how some of my friends who have a large, extended family Christmas thing draw names and only buy one cousin/auntie/grandad/whoever a present. It's a nice way of keeping the gift-giving goodness, but cutting down the needless expense/acumulation of junk/etc. :)

Oh, and if somebody bought me those shorts, I'd use them as a tourniquet. (Around their neck! :p)

[SadieKate]

Even "does the contrast stitching on these shorts make me look fat" me would wear those shorts if it guaranteed a gold medal at the Olympics. Paulo Pezzo looked darned good in them with her matching "jewelry."

[xeney]

This thread really depressed me. With my immediate family, we always had a pretty low-key approach to Christmas ... we all tried hard to to buy something the others would like, but if they didn't like it, you'd never really know ... because my mother thought that returning a gift (unless to exchange a size) or regifting was rude and thoughtless, so everybody was just happy and gracious. And they still are that way, so buying and receiving is a pleasure even when they get the gift completely wrong. (I will never know why my mom thought I would love a sweater with a giant parrot on it, but I am pretty sure that this sentence I just typed is the first time I've ever expressed anything negative about that sweater ... which went to the Good Willl over ten years ago.)

But I have another bunch of family members with whom I now exchange gifts, and the attitude is completely different. Everything is always wrong, Christmas is a time of disappointment and resentment, and buying the wrong gift is an opportunity to revisit every real or imagined flaw in the relationship. It is a miserable situation, and a holiday that I used to love is now something that I dread. And the dread starts in early November, because we try so hard to get it right, but we never do.

I have pretty much gotten to the point where I don't even care. I will buy any stupid thing because they aren't going to like it anyway. Which of course makes me the grinch who is ruining Christmas.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

This thread really depressed me. With my immediate family, we always had a pretty low-key approach to Christmas ... we all tried hard to to buy something the others would like, but if they didn't like it, you'd never really know ... because my mother thought that returning a gift (unless to exchange a size) or regifting was rude and thoughtless, so everybody was just happy and gracious. And they still are that way, so buying and receiving is a pleasure even when they get the gift completely wrong. (I will never know why my mom thought I would love a sweater with a giant parrot on it, but I am pretty sure that this sentence I just typed is the first time I've ever expressed anything negative about that sweater ... which went to the Good Willl over ten years ago.)

But I have another bunch of family members with whom I now exchange gifts, and the attitude is completely different. Everything is always wrong, Christmas is a time of disappointment and resentment, and buying the wrong gift is an opportunity to revisit every real or imagined flaw in the relationship. It is a miserable situation, and a holiday that I used to love is now something that I dread. And the dread starts in early November, because we try so hard to get it right, but we never do.

I have pretty much gotten to the point where I don't even care. I will buy any stupid thing because they aren't going to like it anyway. Which of course makes me the grinch who is ruining Christmas.

Xeney,
You apparently have two completely opposite ends of the spectrum divided into two different family halves. I'm sure it's wonderful to have the first group you describe that is always gracious, just as I'm sure it's awful to deal with and exchange gifts with the second half who find everything to be wrong and are full of resentment towards each other.
For most people it's a combination of varying degrees of compatibility, effort, appreciation, and thoughtfulness. It's not usually all black or white.
We just came from a friend's house this evening where we celebrated a little holiday cheer. We brought 4 perfect red pears and 5 tangerines, nestled in pretty colored tissue in a box as a gift for our friend and her young son. She gifted us with a lovely bag of granola that she made fresh in her kitchen. We sat and had cheese and a glass of local fresh ginger porter we had brought over, talking about life and watching her sew little wool and woodenpeg dolls for her son's xmas present. This is the kind of holiday celebrating and gifting my DH and I prefer to engage in with our close friends and family. But we realize that not everyone has the same ideas and preferences that we do. We don't "get" some people just as they don't "get" us. Sometimes we just have to try to tolerate them anyway.
I suppose it would be better for ALL of us to stop exchanging gifts altogether with people we have problems relating to in one way or another. If this issue is big enough in your life to cause you misery and turn a holiday you used to love into something you dread starting in November, maybe you should consider this option and put your foot down about participating in that debacle of gifting unpleasantness with that part of your family. I wish you luck with alleviating the problem, it's not easy.

[nancielle]

I really like how some of my friends who have a large, extended family Christmas thing draw names and only buy one cousin/auntie/grandad/whoever a present. It's a nice way of keeping the gift-giving goodness, but cutting down the needless expense/acumulation of junk/etc.

That's what we do in my family (immediate family, not extended), with a price cap of $20.00. We buy for the children if we have the means to do so (some are better off than others) but none of my siblings (and to their credit, none of their children) have the expectation that we will buy for the children. The family decided years ago not to do extended family (financial constraints--tons of cousins and now their kids! Yikes!! :eek: ) It cuts down on a boatload of stress. I do token gifts for the sisters whose names I didn't draw (I usually make an ornament for their Christmas trees) but that is by choice and not expectation.

We have family "spies" who help keep others posted on the likes/interests of the others. Last year I gave the sister whose name I drew gift subscriptions to two cooking magazines that she just loves. I wouldn't have known about them (kitchen jus' ain't my area of expertise!) without the help of the "spies". :D (Said sister tends not to let on what she likes/doesn't like. :mad: )


We just came from a friend's house this evening where we celebrated a little holiday cheer. We brought 4 perfect red pears and 5 tangerines, nestled in pretty colored tissue in a box as a gift for our friend and her young son. She gifted us with a lovely bag of granola that she made fresh in her kitchen.

Lisa S.H., that sounded like a fabulous get together!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Well, today on Christmas day I did call my brother to wish him well. I thanked him for the bike basket, then let him talk because I wanted to find out if it was a joke gift or not before I said much. Turns out it was not a joke, he thought I might actually like it. However...he did admit that he ordered it online in a huge rush right after receiving the Smartwool glove liners I sent him. We hadn't exchanged gifts in a few years, but I impulsively picked out the glove liners and sent them to him this year. He told me when he got the gloves he thought "Oh Jeez!, now I have get her something FAST and have it sent directly to her!". :rolleyes:
I had to admit to him that the basket was not going to fit on my bike's handlebars, but that I appreciated his thoughtfulness. (I left out the part about no WAY would I ever put that Toto basket on my bike). So that seemed ok with him, he told me to do whatever I needed to do with it.
I think next year I'll just hint to him that I love chocolate. :cool:

He told me about a letter he just sent to his 16 year old son (my nephew) who hasn't spoken to him in a year. I thought it was a pretty good letter and told him so. Sadly, I don't think the letter will do much to undo that which has gone before. But a good letter is better than nothing.

[Tuckervill]

He told me about a letter he just sent to his 16 year old son (my nephew) who hasn't spoken to him in a year. I thought it was a pretty good letter and told him so. Sadly, I don't think the letter will do much to undo that which has gone before. But a good letter is better than nothing.

Lisa, I have much unfortunate experience with a similar situation and my heartfelt advice to your brother is to KEEP WRITING and pursue the relationship. The boy will always remember that he did, and will never forgive if he doesn't. :(

Karen

[East Hill]

I think we should all be glad that not one of our significant others (not limited to spouses/BFs/GFs--could by mums, dads, sisters, etc.) saw fit to send these:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280063052627&ssPageName=MERC_VIC_RCRX_BIN_IT&refitem=280056558289&itemcount=4&refwidgetloc=closed_view_item&usedrule1=CrossSell_LogicX&refwidgettype=cross_promot_widget

No need to ask the question--do these make my rear end look enormous?

East Hill

[Tri Girl]

I think we should all be glad that not one of our significant others (not limited to spouses/BFs/GFs--could by mums, dads, sisters, etc.) saw fit to send these:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280063052627&ssPageName=MERC_VIC_RCRX_BIN_IT&refitem=280056558289&itemcount=4&refwidgetloc=closed_view_item&usedrule1=CrossSell_LogicX&refwidgettype=cross_promot_widget

No need to ask the question--do these make my rear end look enormous?

East Hill

Those are just HIDEOUS (my apologies to anyone who finds them adorable)! Really? A starting bid of $45? Good luck on that one! :D

[KnottedYet]

yeah, that starting bid is awfully high.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

The seller says they've stopped making them. DAMN!!! :D :D :D

Talk about Scary Clown Syndrome....

[mimitabby]

when I see stuff like those underwear, i wonder about the life of ER doctors and nurses.. seeing lots of people unexpectedly in their underwear!

[KnottedYet]

I get to see more than my share of underwear at my job, too. Do y'all know what your daughters are wearing? Ewwwww. Back in the day, *adults* didn't wear those g-strings every day, let alone 12 and 13 year old girls!!!

Meanwhile the boys are wearing compression shorts down to their knees with sliders or boxers over that and knee-length basketball shorts over THAT, and obsessively pulling their shorts legs to cover every scrap of skin above the knee.

[KSH]

Back in the day, *adults* didn't wear those g-strings every day,

See, I can't imagine wearing anything else. I honestly can't find a pair of full coverage undies that are *cute* and won't ride up my butt.

Since my undies always end up in my crack, I figure just let them start there. Why fight it?

Plus, panty lines are not good.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Plus, panty lines are not good.

I see your point. But nobody ever mentions "thong lines"- I see plenty of those through skirts and snug pants, and why are they any better than "panty lines"? :confused:

Knotted- why are boys wearing compression shorts under their long baggy shorts and boxers??? ...clueless...

[mimitabby]

and while we're at it, what are compression shorts?
everytime a young girl bends over and i see she's got a thong
i cringe. Seems like a great way to get yeast infections and
stuff, concentrating the heat and friction there like that!

[KSH]

I see your point. But nobody ever mentions "thong lines"- I see plenty of those through skirts and snug pants, and why are they any better than "panty lines"?


Well, they aren't.

If you can see someone's thong through their skirt... they need to put a slip on.

And if the pants are so thin and tight the thong outline can been seen... those pants are probably too small... or so poor quality they never should have been purchased.

My undergarments are not seen by anyone... I always make sure of that. Young girls though, don't always care or know any better.

[LBTC]

Wow, did this thread ever take an interesting turn! Underwear? heh. Why bother?

My thoughts about the original thread, though, are that relationships are all very complex and I really couldn't possibly comment on what Lisa ought to do or ought not to do (until she had talked to her brother on Christmas Day).

I grew up in a dysfunctional catholic family and am the only one who has opted out of that chaos and misery for the long term - including all holidays. They don't know me, I don't understand or like them, so why bother pretending, especially at this time of year?

DH and I do spoil each other each year, and it's fun between us, but possibly the best gift this year was the warm wishes from our new friends in our new town, and knowing that possibly next year we'll spend Christmas with them so we can all be away from people who hurt and instead be with people we cherish.

As usual, the ladies of TE have some excellent ideas for meaningful, simple, enjoyable Christmas gift exchanges. As always, you ladies rock!

Merry Everything to each of you!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[Wahine]

My undergarments are not seen by anyone... I always make sure of that.

KSH. I'm very sad to hear that no one gets to see your underwear. I agree that the public should not see your underwear, but maybe someone special:p

Perhaps the triathlon training has gone a little overboard and you need more balance in your life. You are a multisport kinda girl after all.

Wahine

[Crankin]

I agree with KSH. I could never wear any other kind of underwear except a thong. Why did thongs get to be seen as something bad or gross? The original intention was so you would not see the disgusting panty lines of regular underwear. If someone's thong is showing, then their pants, skirt, or thong is too small or tight. I go to a real lingerie store to buy my underwear. They were the first place that lead me to brands that aren't constricting and don't show above low waisted pants or other wardrobe issues. Otherwise, I might have to go without!!! And nobody wants to see a 53 year old woman without underwear...

[KSH]

KSH. I'm very sad to hear that no one gets to see your underwear. I agree that the public should not see your underwear, but maybe someone special


HA! HA! :)

Acutally, that is all my boyfriend has ever seen on me. I have some ugly granny panties I wear to sleep in... and in 3 years I made sure he hasn't seen me in them. :D

[mimitabby]

HA! HA! :)

Acutally, that is all my boyfriend has ever seen on me. I have some ugly granny panties I wear to sleep in... and in 3 years I made sure he hasn't seen me in them. :D

This is hilarious. Your boyfriend has only ever seen you in underwear?
you need to get out more :D :D :D :D :D

[KSH]

This is hilarious. Your boyfriend has only ever seen you in underwear?
you need to get out more :D :D :D :D :D


NO! NO! He has seen me in g-strings... and clothes over them... sometimes. ;)

Oh... I think I have painted myself into a corner here.... :p

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Why did thongs get to be seen as something bad or gross? The original intention was so you would not see the disgusting panty lines of regular underwear. If someone's thong is showing, then their pants, skirt, or thong is too small or tight.

So why are panty lines "disgusting" or gross? Nobody seems to think much when they see bra lines through the back of a blouse- you see them everywhere. I guess if you can see bumpy edges of EITHER thongs or panties sticking up underneath a skirt or pants then maybe your pants or skirt are form fitting or thin. I'm not talking SEE THROUGH pants or skirt here- just visible bump lines. My point was that one can often see thong bump-lines on women below the waist in the back when they're wearing polyesther pants and silky skirts- perhaps they don't realize that they are not avoiding panty lines altogether. :rolleyes:
Me, I don't CARE if a hint of panty line shows through my pants- so what? It's not exaggerated or gross. I don't care if a bit of bra strap peeks out occasionally from my neckline either. Is there a reason I should be trying to look as though I don't wear underwear?



And nobody wants to see a 53 year old woman without underwear...
Ahem... my husband sure does! ;)

A brief (no pun intended) history of the Thong:
http://ezinearticles.com/?The-History-and-Evolution-of-the-Sexy-Thong&id=118796

[Aint Doody]

I'm glad to know other 50+ year olds also wear thongs. They surely are cooler in the summer! When I first started wearing them, my DH made this comment, "A woman your age should wear regular underwear." I've made him change his tune. And if people think they are "racy", that's great! I like it. (My 2 younger sisters even wear panties under panty-hose--too much material around my stomach.)

[KnottedYet]

I don't mind adults wearing them, but I'm old enough that g-strings have connotations. And when I see a patient younger than my son wearing a g-string, it shocks me a bit.

I do think it's funny that these girls are wearing g-strings sticking out of the tops of their pants, but the boys the same age are wearing 3 layers of shorts and trying to keep from showing anything.

[alpinerabbit]

No toothfloss between MY buttocks (and other parts of anatomy). I wore one once for a wedding (yes, with something on top of it - a slinky dress!!) - never, ever again.

[Bad JuJu]

I do think it's funny that these girls are wearing g-strings sticking out of the tops of their pants, but the boys the same age are wearing 3 layers of shorts and trying to keep from showing anything.
I agree that that's ironic, but it's not something they/we don't see all the time. Watch a few movies or dopey sitcoms and you'll see it everywhere--the guys are dressed in layers of t-shirts, shirts, sweaters, maybe a jacket on top, and the women are in...tank tops, or at the most some skimpy little pullover. That--especially the message it sends to kids--just pi$$es me off.

[Crankin]

Well, I haven't really noticed the male fashion you describe with the boys at the middle school I teach at. A few try to hide in their big sweatshirts, but I make them take the hood off. It's really not an issue though.
Lise, I don't know why we generally think it's OK to see a bra line and not a panty line. I think there's 2 distinct issues here. One is when women wear thongs that stick out above the top of their pants, so you actually see the underwear and the other is just seeing panty lines of any type of underwear. I was describing the bulgy, panty line issue when discussing my original intention for wearing thongs. Generally this issue is worse when people wear pants and underwear that is too tight, or they are overweight. Any kind of underwear. I understand what you and others are talking about when you describe people (younger girls in particular) walking around with various parts of underwear, thongs, bras sticking out. We are having a major problem at school with girls wearing tight t shirts, with low cleavages, and a camisole underneath, that just doesn't cover up the cleavage. One mother we called said it was none of our business if her daughter dressed like that (this girl has C+ to D size boobs). Legally, we really can't tell anyone what to wear, but when i put the kids in literature groups with a girl dressed like that, the boys cannot focus. They get silly and weird; they are 12 and 13, and it's really hard for them to ignore a girl dressed like this. We were able to discuss this intelligently with other mothers who had no idea that their daughters were coming to school like this (they changed somewhere between home and school). Generally, I am against censoring things like this (I was the girl who came to school in jeans when we were not allowed to wear pants in the 60s), but it is distracting and it just sends the wrong message.
So, yes, I understand what some are upset about, but I wouldn't give up my thongs for anything. I hate underwear in general and have never worn it under ANY exercise clothes, long before I started cycling.

[SadieKate]

I was just taught that gentlemen and ladies do not let the presence of their underwear be known - either through, above or below the outer clothing. If your clothes fit and you wore a slip or camisole, this isn't a problem. Of course, with too tight clothing leaving nothing to the imagination these days that has become a bit harder. There are also a lot of people that confuse the terms woman and lady, and man and gentleman.

A lady has neither VPL nor a muffin top - and the men I hang out with generally have a laughing attack when they see these. And the reverse is true when I see boxer shorts up to the waist and jeans barely defying gravity. Oh yeah, and pajama pants in public. What, you can't manage to shower and put on clean clothes once a day?

I'm just confused as to why people put so much money into clothing that doesn't fit - too loose or too tight. Neither is comfortable or hygienic.

[pyxichick]

Can someone tell me how a thong is better than going commando?

For the record, I do wear underwear, except when cycling. But I always wonder why spend the money on a thong when you can achieve the same result by not wearing anything?

Kate,
(who needs to be enlightened to the merits of certain undergarments) ;)

[KnottedYet]

I will just chime in (as always, sorry y'all) about how much I love women's boxer-brief compression shorts as underwear. Ibex Roaster Boxers and UnderArmor 4 inch inseam compression shorts are my favorites.

No VPL. No creepy-crawlies.

[Aint Doody]

Lisa S H graciously sent me the Toto basket. It just arrived today, and I think it's going to be totally adorable on my 1973 Schwinn 5 speed. As soon as I get it all together, I'll post a picture. So, Lisa, thank you so very much. You can tell your brother--and anyone else--that the basket is greatly appreciated and will be a much better basket than my smashed one that was there before. There are some really super nice ladies on TE!

Susan

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Lisa S H graciously sent me the Toto basket. It just arrived today, and I think it's going to be totally adorable on my 1973 Schwinn 5 speed. As soon as I get it all together, I'll post a picture. So, Lisa, thank you so very much. You can tell your brother--and anyone else--that the basket is greatly appreciated and will be a much better basket than my smashed one that was there before. There are some really super nice ladies on TE!
Susan

Susan, thank YOU for turning this experience into a happy one for me as well! The Toto basket looks PERFECT on your vintage Schwinn- a match made in Heaven. :)
I think my brother might even get a kick out of where it wound up...
And here is the lovely picture you took and sent to me, it looks so great! Yay!
2501

[Bikingmomof3]

Susan,
I think the basket is nice. :) It is very great to see a pic of you and your bike/basket.

[mimitabby]

it's fun to meet another member of the gang! the basket goes perfect with that bike.

[Aint Doody]

Don't they look great together (the basket & the bicycle)?! Lisa was so kind to send it to me. Gertrude and I will love having it. Thanks again, Lisa!

Susan

PS--Lisa, I love your new avatar, but 'splain, please!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

PS--Lisa, I love your new avatar, but 'splain, please!

You have to read the "honey" thread u nder the Nutrition forum section.

[Kitsune06]

The bee-colored bulls'eyed breasts of doom have me hypnotized.... I can't look away!

[Bluetree]

Oh good, then I'm not the only one who sees them spinning. :eek:

[SouthernBelle]

The bee-colored bulls'eyed breasts of doom have me hypnotized.... I can't look away!

breasts of doom. need me summa them.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

The bee-colored bulls'eyed breasts of doom have me hypnotized.... I can't look away!

Part of my Evil Plan....mWAH ha ha ha! :cool: