View Full Version : The Guide To Wrapping Presents With An Assitant - Your Cat

12-15-2006, 02:16 PM
Okay all you cat lovers out there in TEland I thought you might enjoy this piece.

Our definitive step-by-step guide to one of the more demanding tasks faced by cat lovers the world over

1 Clear a large space on a table or worktop for wrapping your present.

2 Go to cupboard and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut door.

3 Open door and remove cat from cupboard.

4 Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

5 Go back and remove cat from cupboard.

6 Go to drawer, and collect sellotape, ribbon, scissors, labels, etc..

7 Lay out present and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be performed in a logical manner.

8 Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit and place string on table.

9 Remove boxed present from paper bag.

10 Remove cat from paper bag.

11 Open box to check present is in it, remove cat from box, replace present in box.

12 Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.

13 Try and smooth out paper, discover cat is underneath and remove cat.

14 Cut paper to size, keeping the cutting line as straight as possible.

15 Discard first sheet of paper due to cat chasing scissors and tearing paper.

16 Cut second sheet of paper to size and restrain cat by putting it in bag present came in.

17 Place present on paper.

18 Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach. Discover cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.

19 Place heavy object on paper to hold in place while tearing sellotape to length.

20 Spend fifteen minutes carefully trying to remove sellotape from Cat.

21 Seal paper with sellotape, making corners as neat as possible.

22 Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve ribbon.

23 Try to wrap present and tie ribbon in a pretty bow.

24 Re-tie ribbon and remove paper, which is now ripped due to cat's enthusiastic ribbon chase.

25 Repeat steps 13 - 20 until you are down to your last sheet of paper.

26 Decide to skip steps 13 - 17 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the right size for sheet of paper.

27 Put present in box, and secure with string.

28 Remove string, open box and remove cat.

29 Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for bathroom.

30 Once inside bathroom, lock door and start to lay out paper and materials.

31 Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and re-lock.

32 Repeat previous step as often as is necessary until you can clearly hear cat on other side of locked door.

33 Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be difficult if you have a small bathroom, but do your best).

34 Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door, go out and hunt through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper. Then remember you haven't got any because cat helped wrap present last year as well.

35 Return to bathroom, lock door, sit on lavatory and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable.

36 Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing with sellotape. Attach pretty ribbon and decorate with additional bows to hide worst areas.

37 Label present. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself on completing a difficult job.

38 Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make stiff drink and feed cat.

39 Spend twenty minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion.

40 Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.

41 Have several more stiff drinks. Then pick up present and go to back to shop and get nice assistant to gift-wrap present for you.

12-15-2006, 05:35 PM
Welcome to my Christmas... every year!!!! Case in point...


12-16-2006, 02:18 AM
bcipam - your buddy is beautiful, ribbons and all. Every one of my eight wants to help. Thank goodness the Great Dane does not want to help!

12-16-2006, 04:52 AM
bcipam, He looks like he could be the brother of one of my cats. :D


12-16-2006, 05:30 AM
Right now pip is angry with me. I'm in the office trying to finish up making my Christmas cards. He kept coming in grabbing and eating ribbon (he has this thing about eating ribbon) so he's now locked out. I hear him beating at the door. Thank goodness he's too short to reach the knob!

I love him dearly but he always into everything. My craft table is piled high with scraps of paper, ribbons, tape, glitter, sequins, rubber stamps and stamp pads. The other day he laid down right in the middle of one of my project and then got up and had most of it stuck to him. Had to chase him around the house to clean him up. This morning he grabbed a length of ribbon and ran under the Christmas tree. So now, he can't come in.:mad:

12-16-2006, 02:29 PM

12-16-2006, 08:13 PM
Too funny!!!!

Duck on Wheels
12-16-2006, 10:04 PM
Step 10 is where you go wrong. Correct procedure is to place empty bag on floor to entertain cat, preferably in another room with doors closed, while you wrap the package. Less fun, though.

12-17-2006, 05:54 AM
I have to go through this this week, except with a kitten. Considering I can't even write on a piece of paper without being attacked, I don't want to think about what the wrapping paper will look like. (plus 2 older cats and one lab to help).

12-17-2006, 05:46 PM
I have seen my future and this is it. Our older cat likes to eat ribbon then regurgitate it later. I haven't had to wrap any presents since we got the kitten. I'm REALLY looking forward to that.

12-21-2006, 12:37 AM
I kept thinking of this thread when I came home yesterday to a frustrated small boy who had been trying to pack presents while our 6 mth old kitten "helped". :rolleyes: I had to teach him rule one: do not pack presents on the floor! The floor belongs to Cat.

She has since "helped" me fold laundry, and she's in my lap right now trying to eat up my necklace.

Since it's a short one I have to type all bent over so that she can reach it - and hence be distracted from walking all over the keyboard...

short cut sally
12-21-2006, 03:26 AM
absolutely great guide to wrapping gifts with kitty around. i was able to experience this first hand yesterday. laugh. didn't matter if i was on the floor or table..he was there, rearranging, helping and inspecting for perfection and testing out all the wrapping paper for sturdiness. it was priceless.

12-21-2006, 06:06 AM
Today's project wrap the presents with the help of my six adult cats and my two 8 month old kittens (Penelope and Twister). I'm sure it will a good time for one and all. Some of the presents may not be "pretty" when we finish but it will be a team effort and we will need a nap afterwards.

12-21-2006, 08:30 AM
I have seen my future and this is it. Our older cat likes to eat ribbon then regurgitate it later. I haven't had to wrap any presents since we got the kitten. I'm REALLY looking forward to that.

I thought my cat was the only one that liked to eat ribbon. If I am crafting in the office and hear "nah, nah, nah..." I know I have to go look for him cause his trying to choke down some ribbon. It scares me how much he's already eaten. I just know someday I will have to take him to the Cat ER cause that ribbon has him all bound up inside. I wish he would yak it up and I have yet to see it in his poop. For now I just try to keep him away.

I would been working on making ornaments for Christmas presents. I buy cheap glass bird and then decorate them with fancy feathers, ribbon and glitter. I had just finished a batch, left the glitter to dry and went to work.

I thought I closed the office door. When I got home the first thing I notice was the office door ajar. Uh-HO! Sure enough, it was a massacur(sp?). Ribbon, feather, glitter and birds everywhere. I was speakless. Oh well I cleaned up the mess, buried the birds that could not be saved and have learned to make the sure the office door is closed and locked!

I hope he had fun. All that hard work down the drain. :(

12-22-2006, 04:41 AM
I could no srop laughing after checking out this website - at least my cat is not this bad!!!!