Dear Tech Support

[fixedgeargirl]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NHL 4.3, MLB 3.0, and NBA 3.6.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try to enter the command: "C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME" to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

Remember, though, that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly 10.8. Whatever you do: DO NOT install Mother-in- Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Support

[spokewench]

Hot Food 3.1 works for me; but lingerie 7.0 (or whatever) has ABSOLUTELY NEVER WORKED FOR ME????

I wonder what that says?

Maybe that Cycling 8.2 makes Hot Food 3.1 more desirable? or
Skinny Hard Saddle 2.0 makes lingerie 7.0 less desirable?:)

[Tri Girl]

Too funny! :D

[doc]

Excellent

[Bikingmomof3]

Very funny. :)

[Xrayted]

:D I sent that to some friends. Very funny. And accurate unfortunately.

[BikeMomma]

Hmmm....my Husband 1.0 skipped Beer 6.1 entirely and runs Snoring Loudly 10.8 at all times of the day.

Tears 6.2 has never worked, and Guilt 3.0 has only ever worked once, which booted Flowers 3.5 automatically (and with which I was not impressed). Jewelry 2.0 has never EVER worked and I demand my money back.

Not to mention, Mother-in-Law installed itself and Hot Food 3.0 runs entirely WAY too often, and has resulted in Husband 1.0 becoming too large a file. Hence, Lingerie 7.7 is totally worthless.

I must say, though, Tech Support is correct -- Husband 1.0 has very limited memory and mine does not learn new applications at all, even with repeated boots and re-boots.

I want my Boyfriend 5.0 back.
:p
~BM

[kelownagirl]

Loved this one and sent it to quite a few people - and Bike Momma, very funny response!

My sister emailed and asked me:

So tell me, how does it work when you go from Husband 1.0 to Boyfriend 5.0? :)))

I replied:

Well since I made sure I got the extremely stable and well-tested version of Boyfriend 5.9 and made sure it had extra memory and was upgradeable to husband 2.0, it seems to be working quite well so far. Perhas it's partly due to my knowledgable and careful use of the program. Having used Husband 1.0 program previously, I know that I shouldn't expect it do things that it wasn't designed for in the first place, which are clearly outlined if read the box before you buy it. I have also found that if I reboot with Honeymoon 8.5 at least 3-4 times a year, the program is refreshed and any small issues are cleared from the memory.

[massbikebabe]

Oh my God,

So funny...ROFLMAO. The best part about this for me is my husband is a tech support Guru. (I can't wait to show him this)





karen

[Kitsune06]

I agree. My Boyfriend 1.0 seemed like a great deal. Unfortunately, all the same app errors started popping up, anyway, once I upgraded it to Husband 1.0. More and more hard and software demands, automatically loading WOW.exe on return home, and Inlaws2.0. Always.
Nagging2.4 didn't happen so much, except after TeenDrinkParty2.5 and the subsequent, frequent uploads the next morning.
I scrapped Husband 1.0 and went looking for a more compatible program.
I went mac.
Girlfriend 1.0 is awesome. It automatically opens and autofills TextEdit with little love notes, works better than iBank, is stable, efficient, and seems to have lots of memory. The GUI is pretty, and it seems to do it all.
My only complaints are that when I run iCry, the system balks and attempts to get me to auto-close the app, sends up warnings about how it's unreasonable to run iCry and threatens to restart occasionally.
HotFood3.0 and Lingerie 4.3 are not entirely compatible with Girlfriend 1.0 or together, because I get system warnings "error- 46342 unwanted weight gain?!"
iClean and iCook work phenominally well, however.
if iBartend and iCook work well together, I can run the iBuzz plugin for kicks, but it's not a necessary program, and while Husband 1.0 would auto-shutdown without it, Girlfriend 1.0 is much more compatible in general.
I love my Mac. :D

[kelownagirl]

Hilarious Kits! :)

[Bikingmomof3]

Well done, Kit. :D

[KnottedYet]

Very nicely done!

[Trek420]

cool, and while I'm not a gold star Mac user it's been so long since I ran boyfriend 1.0 it doesn't even count anymore. And since boyfriend 1.0 was freeware I never saw the need to get the costly husband series.

I realize by now there have been upgrades.

Current users of boyfriend and even husband software (hereafter in this post called DBF & DH) are up to version Senstiveguy 5.6c+. Newer versions are on the horizon by the holidays which will even run iAskfordirections and iPuttheseatdown! :p

Now both DBF & DH series are much more intuitive and dare we say, Mac like. :)

But I :::heart::: my Mac

[Bikingmomof3]

I saw it Knot. :D

[BikeMomma]

Ha! Tooooo funny, Kit! Well done! :p
~BM

[Kitsune06]

ooh and I caught a famous Knot post before deletion. :D I'm lucky.
I don't get iCuddle that often, because I have to be running something in the background. It's one of those programs that GF1.0 has to have running simultaneously with something. Too much memory and processing power to devote to one place, I suppose, but when it does run, especially for extended periods, I do, totally enjoy it.
I have iMassage, too. :D it seems to cancel out a lot of memory and run errors. :D

[BikeMomma]

I realize by now there have been upgrades.

Current users of boyfriend and even husband software (hereafter in this post called DBF & DH) are up to version Senstiveguy 5.6c+. Newer versions are on the horizon by the holidays which will even run iAskfordirections and iPuttheseatdown! :p

Now both DBF & DH series are much more intuitive and dare we say, Mac like. :)

So where do we get this upgrade.....'cause I must still have the older version!

My Husband 1.0 has also been infected with the Inevercleanupaftermyself.exe. for quite a while, and frequent cleans do no good. The dang thing just keeps getting infected! Drives me crazy! :p

~BikeMomma

[Kitsune06]

When my Husband 1.0 was infected with inevercleanupaftermyself.exe I was tempted to swap the hard drive for a floppy permanently and go from there, but the hardware exchange was apparently not compatible.
Are your preferences set up correctly? "cleanliness" and "hygine" boxes checked under the "settings" tab? Sometimes withholding Lingerie 7.0 works, sometimes not. Withhold it too much and it stops working. Then things start showing up in the IE.exe history. Lovely. Query about the things in the history and you get a BSOD, system shutdown or worse.

In my mind, the best Boyfriend and Husband programs are likely only Mac emulators with fancy hardware apps.
:D
I guess that's why I'm a mac user, though... :rolleyes:

[KnottedYet]

I haven't had the chance to run iMassage yet. I've got so much advanced training in that program, however, that I've done an AppleScript of my own which I think I'll call iMeltYou. Need to find another Mac to run it on, as I prefer the share-ware version.

[Kitsune06]

oh gawd. My mind went to all sortsa interesting places there. iBuzz is a real iPod attachment from the UK. I'm in love. I wish I still had my iPod.
Running iMelt without GF1.0 can be fun but loses its charm after awhile. :eek: I pair the programs but yeah, volume control can be an issue. Neighborly complaints and all that. iTunes in the background works... ...sometimes
Naughty.
And while running all this shareware, I'm thrilled about Mac security. My system will never get hijacked. :D
My other favorite feature is the processing time. While initial load time may take awhile, subsequent executions can be completed quite quickly until I've maxed out the processor. Windows? Pff. One, maybe two.
Then it all comes back to iCook and iClean. Mmmm breakfast. :D

[Trek420]

ah Macs :p

some pcs can be downright handsome in that broad shouldered flat-screened kinda way. But Macs are colorful and have all the right curves.

and multi-tasking, the only P.C.s I deal with are at work and they can't seem to do two things or two types of thought processes at once.

What's with that? Must be that right hard drive left hard drive thang.

The new ones have empathy pre-installed, can listen, express and recognise a wide range of emotions just like Macs always have.

But not simultaneously while running other programs.

Macs can :) I'm glad I like Macs :)

On the other hand...seems you can't run a Polar HRM on a mac 8-(

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=11918

[Bikingmomof3]

On the other hand...seems you can't run a Polar HRM on a mac 8-(

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=11918

You can if you have the newer Macs. It works really well.

[Trek420]

ah, that's the problem. I'm an old Mac, new operating system but old Mac.

Gotta get me one o those younger Macs :p

[Bikingmomof3]

Yes, just a slight upgrade, but keep the operating system. ;)

[Trek420]

I think we've taken this analolgy just about as far as humanly possible, you think? :cool:

[kelownagirl]

Oh don't stop! This thread is hilarious!

[Trek420]

Ok, let's keep this goin' :D

[Kitsune06]

GF 1.0 ran AutoUpdate this morning and attempted to d/l iClean1.6 which includes an upgraded wash_doing and toilet_scrubbing features. I was not amused and started wondering if GF 2.0 would require the same upgrade. Turns out iClean1.6 is part of the system requirements of the entire following GF line. Great.

A word of warning for people considering the switch from Windows to Mac. Although the compatibility for mac seems to be higher, on a day-to-day basis, many users find Windows easier to work with in general. In case of system failure, HotFood.exe, Beer.exe and Lingerie.exe programs can be used to great success in recovery. For fun and to make the system run more smoothly after conflict, run Winzip and expand the s.exe program.

In case of Mac system failure, there may be more confusion than readily available system recovery agents. iUnderstand can sometimes bring up an error and iAppologize may bring up an entirely different, but just as frustrating error. Any attempts to run LingerieforMac during this time may result in a full-on boot error. Best to stay conservative and run iCook and iClean (the best versions you have- heck, borrow someone else's temporarily!) and if situations permit, try iCuddle. iManidiot works, sometimes, too.

More patience is required for running certain Mac programs, as well. Where Winzip works great at any time for Windows, the Stuff-it Expander can be much, much more finicky for Mac and don't you dare try it unless you've run iCook and iClean and everything else is running well. Also, running the Expander program with another Mac is hazardous to your health. GF 1.0 uses a tracking cookie and can sense if other, similar programs are run. Not only will this result in a critical failure of one or both programs, but iCook and iClean will be reduced to their freeware versions simultaneously. :D

[KnottedYet]

ah, that's the problem. I'm an old Mac, new operating system but old Mac.

Gotta get me one o those younger Macs :p


I got a 2006 iBook G4.... with OS-X 10.4.8. Le Tigre. I'll share. "C'mon up and see me sometime..." Packing with my iBook is pretty easy, as it has a protective neoprene sleeve. All you have to do is unzip it, and you're ready to go!


"Is that an iBuzz in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

[fixedgeargirl]

Any advice for someone interested in running both platforms?










:eek: Did I just say that?

[Kitsune06]

Any advice for someone interested in running both platforms?

When you're running both platforms, you have to realize that a mac is NOT a Windows machine without the peripherals. Entirely different system. Totally different system requirements. Be kind to the mac- understand its capacities and also that there're a lot of programs it's either not compatible with or needs extra software to do, but also that Windows isn't always as user-friendly. Well, not old v's of Windows. Sometimes you can run both simultaneously, but it takes a LOT of memory and processing time. Windows can NOT be completely simulated on Mac with iRide, and mac can not be completely simulated on a Windows machine with lingerie2.0... but either can be interesting to explore if you're into that kinda thing. Lingerie2.0 with Windows may bring up the "Error-3523 Bodyhair and lace". This is a serious incompatibility... remedied with HotWax 1.0 but.... do ya really wanna go there?

Bottom line.... You can see macs all the time with windows emulators, but when do you EVER see a win machine running a mac emulator?!
If you're really into trying, just run Viruscan often, and always use a firewall! :D

[KnottedYet]

Once you go Mac, you never go back.

[Trek420]

I dunno, some do ;)

They were running both platforms anyway.

[Kitsune06]

I'm not so sure, Knot. Sometimes I'm tempted by windows, if only for the interface... but only every once in awhile. I'll always have a mac at home. :D

[Xrayted]

I guess, if you want to run dual systems, it seems to me that you only need to know which one you prefer for certain functions. To me, PC is for mostly running the day to day chores, like iClean, iWash (mostly the iBaconStrip subprogram), the HotFood program, and of course the Stuff It Expander, but that can be highly volatile and may end up crashing the operating system before completion of the final download.

Now for Macs, you get the best of the best in software and it's so easy and user friendly. No ultra expensive Lingerie 2.0 is needed on this platform. With a Mac, Flannel 3.1 and WoolUndies 1.2 easily trigger auto start of iCuddle, iMassage and can eventually lead into iBuzz and then iMelt. So much more fun and user friendly. Of course, these highly developed programs can cause overload of iSensory 3.2 and throw your computer into CrashPosition 1.3 or FetalPosition 4.0.

Sure, the s.exe program between the two systems can be simultaneously run, but not advised unless you are fully insured and bonded through the Bi's R Us Union. But that is one tough union to enter, so beware. The dues are pretty heavy too. There are certain basic skills you must be able to demonstrate with proficiency to be a card carrying member, such as batting righty and lefty, otherwise referred to as batting for both sides. There are some programs that are compatible to both systems, but ones like make.love 2.5 have much more advanced graphics and real life feel on the Mac than the PC.

Disclaimer: Of course, that is only my opinion. Individual results can and do vary.

[melissam]

I'm a longtime Windows user -- never had any major problems with it, and it was always relatively inexpensive. Also, if I had issues with one version, new upgrades were always available, so I could just get another one.

Well, recently I have tried a Mac, and what can I say? I am hooked! The hardware and software are designed beautifully. I haven't had a crash yet, which is very different from Windows, which needed a restart practically every day. I've been exploring the different software that came with my Mac, and it's been extremely intuitive. If I have a question, help is always available.

My other Mac-using friends are being very gracious about refraining from the "I told you so's." You just gotta love Mac-users -- they're pretty non-judgmental. Of course, some of my friends would never understand my recent switch, and having them try it for themselves would not be an option. They'll never know what they're missing. ;)

[crazycanuck]

Thank you ladies..:D Thank you..:)

I am still unsure what operating system i'm using after all these years...I'm sure i'm using windows as the mac system doesn't work for me yet. :eek: err..umm eh?

even i think i've lost the iWashdishes file..

What do you do if you've lost the iLostthatlovinfeelin.exe file :confused:

c

[Xrayted]

Well, CrazyCanuck - You can load up the iMassage and the iCuddle programs and just go for it. Should lead you right in to iMelt. If not, you can always revert to the iBuzz program. It's not as good for overall compatibility issues but it can be a real lifesaver some days. Might save you a reboot or worse - a total wipe of the hard drive. :rolleyes: :D

[KnottedYet]

I've found TE to be an excellent resource for meeting other Mac users. I've even found one compatible enough with my system that we set up an internal network.

[Trek420]

TE is also provides excellent technical support for those using Windows. And by using our customer support services all around the world, it's available 24/7 and in a variety of languages.

Windows users don't need to get the Microsoft (pun NOT intended but there it is, I'm sure some will run with it :cool: ) extended waranty for this service.

[Kitsune06]

...And yet TE Tech Support will NOT cover Microsoft run errors or mount/unmount failures.

I've been looking at a PC recently who seems to have incredible compatibility, memory and processing features. Unaware of hardware and peripherals included, however. Should probably stay that way. :rolleyes: Yes, I cross platform. Yes, I love my mac... but I'm not dead, either. ;) :D

Beware any PC that claims to be "a Mac trapped in a PC's case." This does NOT happen, is NOT a good idea, and at best would make a lousy Mac anyway, at worst is a very weird and unstable PC...

Linux is most compatible with Mac (note the Unix kernel info in OSX....) and yet... not.
Confusing beyond words...
>>Mount :C
:C cannot be mounted.
>>Mount harddrive
harddrive cannot be mounted.

...Let us return to plug 'n' play fun, with iBuzz, iCuddle and iMelt.
So much easier!

[Bluetree]

Yes, PCs are definitely less expensive, but most of their needs are relatively simple. They're just born that way. I guess most PCs find the extent of their processing power used for Blood Money or Tank Commander.

In contast, take the elegance of Macs in white (even after Labor Day), their big, wide screens, gazillions of colors and the friendly, fecund Creative Suite. It even sounds pleasant. Ahh... Creative Suite.
Sure Macs cost more, but face it, they're MACs.

As someone who has done some cross-platforming in the past (OK, so it was mostly in the college days) and even some multi-OS-using (no comment) all I can say is there are pros and cons to both.

[DebW]

Linux is most compatible with Mac (note the Unix kernel info in OSX....) and yet... not.
Confusing beyond words...
>>Mount :C
:C cannot be mounted.
>>Mount harddrive
harddrive cannot be mounted.

...Let us return to plug 'n' play fun, with iBuzz, iCuddle and iMelt.
So much easier!

I was wondering when someone was going to mention Linux.

Kit, you need to edit your /etc/fstab and add the "user" option if you want to mount disks with "mount /mnt/disk1". Otherwise you have to "su" to root and type "mount -t vfat /dev/hda3 /mnt/disk1". I had RedHat 9 all figured out, but Fedora, in it's attempt to be plug'n'play, has me all confused.

We Linux users must live without iBuzz, iCuddle and iMelt, and even sound and video sometimes, but at least we have compilers. :rolleyes:

[Trek420]

ok, now I'm totally lost :confused:

[Kitsune06]

GF 1.0 was dumped faster than an AOL CD turns into a frisbee at the hands of a happy Firefox/Qwest user.

GF 2.0, though? by contrast, the difference between OS9 and OSX! iCook and iClean are fully appreciated and the Spite and Guilt widgets seem to have been left out of this v. entirely. iCry needs not happen as often, but when it does (uh, maybe autoexecuted by overuse of beer 5.0, wine 6.0) :o it's a cleansing and restoring program, instead of a sign that one is on the way to system failure.
warm_fuzzies and HotFood, when run with the DVD player autoloads iCuddle. ohhhhh iCuddle! I'd started thinking that that was a fictional program! Oh how long ago that seems... :D
No threats to restart. No BSOD or heavy system balking when I run system eval or inquire about processes... *bliss* ...and she runs iBike! !!!!

[mountainchick]

This was the first time I read this thread and I about pee'd my pants.

Too funny.

I am currently running Husband 1.0, I guess now it could be considered beta since some of the bugs have been fixed with service pack 2 which included bike 1.0, long deployment 6.5 and travel planner 6.0. Long deployment and travel planner have been crucial in keeping husband 1.0 running smoothly. travel planner will be upgraded shortly with additional add-ons such as malaysia 1.0, australia 4.0, and china 1.0.

[summer]

A great thread, but i need some help...I'm now running Husband 2.0 (better graphics, newer model, bigger hard drive, and complete with iron.exe, dishes.exe, and rememberbirthdays.exe - and an extra special buyyouabike.exe which I never thought I'd be able to find), but now, well, I've got two small laptops (one Mac, one PC) with extra sound cards, and I've crashed my sleep.exe, getalong.exe, and s.exe. I've also been infected with pointlessbicker.exe and clutter.exe. I've installed DayCare1.0 as a virus protection device against any further infections, but I don't want to run Motherinlaw2.0 as well, although I may have no choice. Any advice? Like where's the 'mute' on the laptops? I did try Lingerie9.0 to restore s.exe (needed to upgrade from Lingerie5.0 after we got the laptops), but it seemed to only restart Snoring7.5.

[HillSlugger]

For my laptops a pacifier peripheral functioned as a mute switch allowing nap.exe to autostart.

Please realize that Daycare1.0 increases the likelihood of virus infection for all other machines on the home network.

[surgtech1956]

I love MACs. I tried windows Husband 1.0 which kept crashing because of the GF1.0 program overriding the Husband 1.0 program and trying to run. Once I got a new hard drive and installed GF 1.0 permanently my Mac really purrred. The only problem now GF1.0 has some bad virus I didn't know about and think I need to look for some new software - GF2.0. Once I went to a Mac I will never go back to windows. ;)

[chakra]

I am still running the Husband program, but have upgraded the original 1.0 model with new RAM (installed painfully, with the shoveitup.exe Run application), so he now runs more like Husband 2.0. (I eyed up the new models, but decided, since I had learned to work well with Husband 1.0 over a ten year period, an upgrade would suffice).

Upgrade installation was very tricky and required several reboots, but so far Husband 2.0 runs dishes.exe., childcare.exe, and youhavealife.2.exe., which were all missing from the original program. Jewelery application is running surprisingly well, and listening.exe, never very strong in Husband 1.0, has been an especially useful app.

Hotfood.3.0 now runs well on Husband 2.0, but only with the vegetarian default, which is non-barbeque . It does include an enhanced applet called soupmaking.exe though. As we know, Hotfood3.0 was only previously available for the Mac models (GF 2.0, Wife 1.0., 1.1., 1.2., 2.0., 2.1 and 2.2) which tend to be ahead of their PC counterparts.

We have three little Laptops, 2 PC and one Mac (middle laptop) which needs more re-booting than both the PCs together and is especially hard to shut down as well. All three spontaneously create new programs, get infected by viruses, and require regular maintenance. Lingerie 7.7 has not been run in years, although Hotfood.3.0 is frequently run. Nanny 2.1 is an absolute must, as long as you manually delete ibarf, icry and ileave programs.

Great thread!

Chakra

[equus123]

lol, you guys are too much. this thread is the only one i actually enjoy reading. :o :D

I, too, will never go back to a PC after having gotten a Mac. :cool:

[Xrayted]

Amen sista! heh. Good thing the current Mac doesn't want an overhaul... I guess that would mean I'd have to load in Buttlift 2.0, Totalfacelift 3.2 and Liposuction 2.8... I hear those are very expensive and once they are loaded, it tends to look for another Mac that is more asthetically pleasing as well. I'm so glad that the my Mac has Roadbikelove 3.4 and Mtblove 2.5 and is wonderful the way she is. As usual, the Mac proves completely compatible. :cool: :D

On an unrelated note, I have to actually take the Mac (computer) in for repair today. I am of course, writting this on my PC. Whooda thunk? :o :p

[surgtech1956]

How do you get a Mac to accept a program like roadbikeluv 1.0 or mtnbikeluv 1.0? Does Mac need an overhaul if no programs will download or run? Is it a virus if Mac only wants to run sitathome 1.0?

[fixedgeargirl]

Having gotten rid of an old PC with way too many bugs and troublesome programs installed by it's builder (mamasboy 1.0), I am currently existing w/o either platform. Yup, it's just me and my handheld device for now.