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View Full Version : The definition of Reintarnation (and others)



Haudlady
11-22-2006, 06:26 AM
DH sent this along to me today... There are some good ones here!

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you sober up when you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit)

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

GLIBIDO: All talk and no action.

Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get snagged by a bear and die in the end.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one'sworkplace.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the hell out of anelectronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

jobob
11-22-2006, 06:36 AM
These are great !!! :D


OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

For cyclists, often followed by a cry of "tim-berrrrr" :p

Tri Girl
11-24-2006, 03:19 PM
Hilarious! Thanks for sharing. :D

Xrayted
11-24-2006, 05:29 PM
I love it. I just sent a copy to my best friend. She talks like that all the time. Makes up her own words and definitions.

thanks for posting this.

X.

Duck on Wheels
11-24-2006, 10:35 PM
Here's another variety, new definitions to old words:
COFFEE (n.) the person upon whom one coughs
FLABBERGASTED (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained
ABDICATE (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
WILLY-NILLY (adj.) impotent
NEGLIGENT (adj.) the condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown
LYMPH (v.) to walk with a lisp
GARGOYLE (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash
FLATULENCE (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
BALDERDASH (n) a rapidly receding hairline
TESTICLE (n.) a humorous quesion on an exam
RECTITUDE (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists
POKEMON (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist
OYSTER (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms
CIRCUMVENT (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

OK gals, here's the challenge: We oughta be able to make up more of these on our own.
Hmmmm ,,,
HEADLINES (n.) worry wrinkles across ones forehead after reading the news?

Hub
12-14-2006, 06:53 AM
I am adding these to my vocabulary immediately!

awesome!

mimitabby
12-14-2006, 07:03 AM
how did i miss these?