Please help me help my friend stop smoking

[Lifesgreat]

She really wants to stop and knows of my desire to help her. I have never helped anyone stop smoking. Any suggestions on how I can be a support and help to her? Thank you for your help. :)

[mimitabby]

well, of course, she has to do it herself.

tell her to call you when she wants a cigarette, no matter when that is.
and be there for her.

Tell her that if she can go 24 hours, she can go another 24 hours.
But really, it's all up to her.

My husband quit about a dozen times before it stuck. now it's been more than 20 years...

[Brandi]

hmmmmm? Addiction is hard one. And being ex smoker of 5 years now I know first hand. Both my husband and i quit at the same time (intersting year between us). Your love and understanding is all you can really give. My best friend used to say things like " I can't belive you smoke?" Just saying that to me made a profound impact. Sounds wierd but when she said it was always with a worried tone. And she would say thingd like " you know if you quite now, your lungs would go back to normal in like 10 years. I quit when i was 33 years old. I think the younger you are the easier it is. You have the strength to exercise and work out any agressions. I started running. I had always walked. And now I ride.
don't pester your friend but drop helpful hints as often as you can without being annoying.
The reason we quit? I had kinda promised myself I would before I was 35 but it was hard cause my husband smoked too. But one day when we were going to Costa Rica for the first time, we were waiting for our plane and my husband said "I want to quit when we get back, no more "! He had never said that and I belived him. I asked why and he said he read a story that scared him. and that he wants to be here for me. That was enough for me. It was the toughest the first 6 months. But after a year it got way easy. I would never go back now.
She (or he) needs to find stuff to replace it. Hobby's, a sport, art what ever go into it full on. Riding and knitting help me a lot. I do enjoy at least 1 glass of wine every night. I belive in the power of one drink a day. Oh and Yoga is a huge help as well. I started before I quit, that is the way to go. You learn to respect your breath. And besides I could smell the smoke on me when i started to sweat (yuck)! Ok enough from me . Good luck, i hope you can help. Just be careful and don't drive them away!

[CyclChyk]

What MIMI says pretty much sums it up. As a former smoker myself, I can tell you this: If your friend needs your "help" to quit, then she is not *ready*. By that I mean, she does not *really* want to quit, not deep down where it counts. She knows she should, she tells herself she should, but doesn't really *want* to.

Now of course I have no way to know this for sure. I can just tell you my experiences. Once I had quit for 2 years and started back up. Another time I quit for 4 months, and started back up. Several times I quit for a week or two and always started back up. The last time I quit was 8 years ago.... and I have NOT started back up. I could tho, in a heartbeat. The desire to is always there. The reason why I have not is because I honestly want to be smoke free. Every other time I quit, I looked for an excuse to start back. I begged for an excuse to start back. And I always found one.....

Its gotta come from within. It's a mindset that no one can help you acheive. She will do it if she is really ready. ONLY if she is really ready. And she will do it by herself because no matter how much you help, you can't be there when she wakes in the morning and craves that first cigarette; or when she is stuck in a traffic jam and sees so many other smoking in their cars; or when she gets nervous or hyped about something at work..... stress is a sure sign of caving....

(sorry. Didn't mean to sound like a soapbox speech there but I know it all too well....) I wish your friend all the luck to beat it, and I sincerely hope you can help her.

[snapdragen]

Encouraging and supporting her is the best thing you can do. If she is truly ready to quit, she may just need a little help. I used the Patch, and it worked well for me. She may get bizarre cravings, I "needed" coffee - a lot!

So, if cold turkey isn't cutting it for her, there are many options - the patch, nicotine gum to name two.

edit: Forgot to add - 14 years since I quit! :D

[light_sabe_r]

In Australia we have a nationwide QUITLINE. It's a free counseling and follow up service funded by federal taxes on Cigarettes. If there's a similar service in the states get your friend to RING THEM. If not then here's a link to the Australian website. http://www.quitnow.info.au/internet/quitnow/publishing.nsf/content/quitters-lp She may find it useful.

The next thing I would do would be encourage her to see her doctor. together they can work out a QUIT program. That may or may not invole medication (even things like nicorette) but the doctor will get her on track.

Tell her you're HAPPY to be there to be the support her. Any time she feels like a cigarette, she can call you and just chat. Just distract her. Hell rock up at her place and take her bike riding anytime she feels like a smoke.

[Lifesgreat]

THANK YOU so much for your suggestions. I knew I could count on you! My friend is determined to quit, no matter what. I just didn't want to get in the way of her determination and I wanted her to know I am there for her. Your suggestions will help me. :)

[mimitabby]

Every other time I quit, I looked for an excuse to start back. I begged for an excuse to start back. And I always found one.....
you can't be there when she wakes in the morning and craves that first cigarette; or when she is stuck in a traffic jam and sees so many other smoking in their cars; or when she gets nervous or hyped about something at work..... stress is a sure sign of caving....
.

CC,
that was my husband's biggest trigger too. he would salivate when he saw others lighting up in their cars.

[Pedal Wench]

A few things that worked for me.
1. Twizzlers. At work, I realized that I liked the break that I had to take to go outside to smoke. So, I just took a red licorice Twizzler, went out to the deck and ate my Twizzler. It gave me the same mental break from work, the Twizzler satisfied that oral fixation, and it was a measured serving.
2. Other finger-foods. Baby carrot sticks, sunflower/pumkin seed in the shell and MiniWheats cereal, all helped when sitting at home watching tv.
3. Avoiding triggers. I had to avoid bars, because I couldn't seperate sitting at a bar with a cocktail with smoking a cigarette. I actually still have a problem with that, 10 years after quitting.

Wish her luck, and just bear with her. The mood swings can be pretty wacky.

[Dogmama]

A3. Avoiding triggers. I had to avoid bars, because I couldn't seperate sitting at a bar with a cocktail with smoking a cigarette. I actually still have a problem with that, 10 years after quitting.
Wish her luck, and just bear with her. The mood swings can be pretty wacky.

Ditto that. I quit 20 years ago and had to change many habits that were triggers.

I made a list of ten reasons I wanted to quit. Everytime I thought I had to have one, I'd read my list.

Each time your friend goes through a craving, the next craving will be less intense. Eventually, they'll be gone. One day at a time, one hour at a time.

I heard that nicotine is as addicting as heroin. :eek:

[Bikingmomof3]

I quit long ago, cold turkey. I doubt I was a delight to live with. :rolleyes: You have received great advice from others on how to help your friend.

One of the best things I did, was to avoid trigger locations, mainly places where others would be smoking. Also, I drank a lot of water. I have no idea if it helped, but having a glass in my hand worked for me.

[Tuckervill]

I helped my son quit by keeping him supplied with nicotine gum and/or patches. It's what he asked for Christmas, and I was only too happy to oblige.

What I don't understand is people who go without all day because they can't smoke at work, and then as soon as they are off, light up like crazy.

Karen