Shhh...this is Silver's hubby...

[silver]

Shhh...I'm trying to not wake silver up as I type quietly...just two feet from the chair she's sleeping in...

She's in that ever so dreary time of doubt as to whether she will ever ride again...so, stealing my lead from Paul Simon's 70's hit, let's come up with the "Fifty Ways to Get You Biking". This may take some effort:rolleyes: , so I'll start:

You just slip on the seat, Pete
Make a new map, Snap
You don't need to be sad, Tad
Just get yourself free
Hop on that bike, Mike
You don't need to discuss much
Just tighten that chain, Elaine
And get yourself free.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

;) For the younger set who don't know what I'm talking about:
http://www.superseventies.com/sl_fiftywaystoleave.html

[mimitabby]

Well, how else will she get to show off her new bike if not by riding it?!?
sometimes depending on your vantage point, things look pretty rough. I think when she's in less pain, her ambitions will take over.

[7rider]

I agree with Mimi.
She can be dreary now. But when she is feeling better, and when she starts looking at that new ride she has that is just begging to be ridden, she can go back out there.
When you fall off the horse, you have to get back on.
Get out there and ride, Clyde.

[DeniseGoldberg]

Sorry, but I'm not very good at rhyming...


First, be patient. I looked back through the posts about Silver's crash, and it happened back on October 29th. That's only two weeks ago, not a lot of time. (Silver's hubby: expecting Elaine to be back on a bicycle in that short a period of time after an accident like the one she had is probably not realistic.)
Give yourself time to let the fear recede into the background. And remember that fear is normal after a crash like yours. It doesn't have to be rational, but it is very normal. I suppose that I was very lucky in my own bad crash. I had a skull fracture and a severe brain injury, neither of which feels very lucky - but my injuries caused me to lose all memory of my crash, so I didn't have to fight fear. I did have to wait for clearance from my docs though, so I was off of my bike for a good 6 weeks. Recovery time passes; if biking was a part of your life that you loved in the past, I believe that you will be able to overcome your fear in time.
Ease back into exercise. Maybe walking will feel right to you; maybe riding your bike on a trainer or riding an exercise bike will feel right. There isn't any right or wrong here - just what feels right to you.
Learn from what happened, and if possible change your riding style to avoid the situation that frightens you. You went off the edge of the pavement; if it were me I'd probably make sure to ride further to the left in the future (that is, away from the edge).
When it feels right to ride again, take your bike somewhere with little traffic so you can get comfortable rolling along on two wheels again without having to deal with too many external factors. Maybe a short ride with your DH (and no one else, not a club ride!) would be a good start.


And remember - you didn't do anything wrong. Accidents happen; sometimes they can be avoided, sometimes they can't. But even so - just think of all of the accident-free miles that you (and all of us) have ridden.

If biking was an important part of your life in the past, if biking is something that you would like to continue to be a part of your life, I believe that you will be able to return to it. Wait, and it will feel right again.

--- Denise

[HillSlugger]

Get a new fork, Bjork

[Kathi]

When I fell off my mtn bike and broke my wrist I was really, really scared to get back on the bike. It didn't help that I was in a cast for 8 weeks then it took another 6 weeks to get my strength back enough to shift and brake.

When I did get back on I went to a quiet place with no traffic. I can remember being very hesitant and wobbly when I took off. I only rode about 5 miles that day but it broke the ice for me and brought me back.

If fear becomes a big issue that she can't overcome there is a book called "In the Yikes! Zone, a Conversation with Fear" by Mermer Blakeslee. It's geared toward skiing but applies to this situation too.

Good luck, give her time and lots of encouragement.

[margo49]

smell the flora, Dora

Patience
Life only goes forward; but sometimes slowly

[Thistle]

silver's hubby, you rock :D

just get a new bell, Nell

[bambu101]

Get a new stem, Clem

Hang in there Silver, and Mr Silver!

[Tri Girl]

In time, I'm sure her ambition to ride will return. When she feels better and is not in pain her thoughts may drift to riding once again.

Get on your steed, Reid.
Hop on the road, Toad (hey, it could be a name) :)
Clip on in, Erin,
and let the road lead.

Get out the door, Thor
Jump on your bike, Ike
Burn rubber quick, Nick
and enjoy the fun.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

So get out your pump, Gump,
and put in some air, Claire,
Slip on your chamois, Tammy,
and pedal with me...

[silver]

Oh Geez!!!!! Yes, he's sweet but I'm gonna have to change my password!!! :o

well, I will admit that i'm in tears reading this. yesterday was the frist day that I had seen DH since the day after the accident becuase of work logistics. And I was having a cruddy day. I've found that about every day and a half that I crash big time, both emotionally and physically. Sleep has been elusive the last two nights. I must be getting used to the pain meds since they no longer seem to make me drift off into a welcome foggy sleep like before.

And I was already teary after reading bacarver's email about the bravery that she summoned up when she had her wreck.

It was just a month and a half ago that I watched Sam's life leave his body after being cut down by a car and now two weeks since my own accident while riding a memory ride for him. My old bike has been restored to "ride-able" and the new Oh-so-lovely Madone sits in my kitchen waiting for me to take it for a ride.

I figure that what I'm experiencing is some sort of post traumatic stress response. I had accomplished my cycling goals for the years and had already turned my mind towards running through the winter.

I know that I have already recovered so much since the accident. I remember screaming at the slightest move the first few days. Now I can move about and get by without the narcotics during the days. My lung is healed. My road rashes are all nearly healed. My parents are going home after taking over for two weeks. I can drive. I've even been trying to figure out which exercises I can still do. Like calf raises.....I can do calf raises.

But the emotional part will take so much longer to heal. I had so looked forward to doing the memory ride for Sam, thinking that it would bring so much closure to the experience, then I didn't finish his "Finish His Ride"



I did go out to my workshop was happy to know that I can still work. Slowly and carefully and probably not with as much skill and force as before but knowing that I will at least be able to complete the orders that I have.

I want to ride again. But I don't watn to be fearful. It has been so helpful to read how some of you have made small modifications to your riding that have helped. to read how you have triumphed after serious injuries. you all know.... I need to be on my bike. Well, tomorrow I will try to get on my spin bike and see if I can pedal. I'll go to the gym and see what I can do. and then see where that takes me. And I'll get to meet bacarver!:cool:

I've been through injuries before and always went on and found something else to do. That's how I found the bike. I bought my bike with and rode it with a broken foot all last summer. I'd walk to the bike in my air cast, take it off and bike and put it back on. I worked so hard at weight lifting when I broke my left foot that I finally developed 6 pack abs. I know I've done this before, so why does it seem so daunting this time. I think because it hurts a lot more this time. It came closer to mortality, it came on the heels of Sam's death.

Thank you DH and others for the sweet encouragement. I'm listening. I will not give up.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Silver,
remember that crying and embracing your fears, despair, sadness, and frustration is all a good and natural part of healing and getting strong again, both physically and emotionally.

[Bad JuJu]

Well, here's my pathetically late response:
Grab hold of those bars, Lars!

But mostly, because I'm late reading this and read Silver's heart-wrenching response, I just want to send a big ol' hug {{{{{ Silver }}}}} . We're all cheering for you, pal.

[sbctwin]

Remember, always, time is is your friend. There is no need to rush to jump on your bike...maybe, after you heal some more, time on a trainer with your old "bike/friend" will help you to feel more secure on sitting on the bike...no pressure, some videos of the open road to remind you what riding outside was like, but most important, TIME....I, for one, get impatient, and then I have to remind myself that, what I can't accomplish today, I can try tomorrow. And if tomorrow is a week, a month, a few months, a year away, I can still see the possibilities, and well, at my age, I don't think of it as an excuse....I just need the TIME. I only found this site in October and I feel so wonderful just reading all of the frustrations/ celebrations/ hurddles/ accomplishments that my fellow cyclists endure, and I am encouraged that one day, I will also accomplish that which I find impossible at this time. Back in the early 80's, I took a terrible spill...I rode my bike before work every morning. The night before, it rained. I came down off this hill and took a corner too fast and I went down. I was one road rash person and, yes, even in 1982, I was wearing a helmet, it took the brunt that would have surely ended my ear as I know it...It took me awhile to get back on the bike to feel the joy and independence...but I finally got back on it, it just took me TIME.

[SouthernBelle]

After I cracked my ribs, I wasn't afraid of riding itself, but I was afraid of speed. Oddly, I wasn't even going that fast when I crashed, maybe 13-15 mph. I still get nervous when I get up around 30.

I was back on the bike at about 3 1/2-4 weeks (but I didn't have the pneumothorax). Just do what you feel comfortable with, and it will come.

[LBTC]

big hugs to you, Silver!

When I broke my shoulder, it was a pretty straight forward injury - one bone, broken in 2 places, 3 pins in for 4 weeks, then physio, physio, physio and slow recovery. No lung problems, no road rash, as I said, very straight forward.

I think I took a week to recover just from being put under for surgery. But it was months before I tried the bike. Even a gentle decline put too much pressure on the shoulder. I broke it in mid June, I finally rode again in the spring. My first ride on the mountain bike, I was so geared up it was embarassing. Add to the body armor, helmet and glasses...hockey shoulder pads! I was obsessively worried about getting hurt again! DH took me up to a bowl where I'd first learned about riding steeps, and I put on all my gear and went at it very slowly.

It was not fun while it happened, but I thought my recovery time was just right. After all, it was mid december before I had a cortisone shot to regain full mobility in that shoulder.

As a mountain biker, I was really pretty nervous riding, until I had my first crash! Once I'd done that, and I wasn't really hurt, it was truly liberating!

You will get to where you need to be. Perhaps instead of focussing on being patient, focus on something new.

If it weren't for the time I was forced to sit still while I recovered, I would never have discovered the wonder of flowers which has led me to take pictures almost obsessively...and that simple act of taking pictures has carried me through some even tougher times since then.

Do not feel bad about your beautiful new bike. She will wait for you as long as you need her to. And she will treat you with respect and love because you took the time you needed to heal. The last thing she wants you to feel is guilty or obliged. Heal at your own pace. Do what you can when you can. Be joyful in each bit of progress you make. Understand that there are difficult emotions as you go through this and really feel them. Then post them for us so we can share our own stories and encouragement.

You're amazing, silver, and you will find your own way in your own time!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[silver]

You ladies are amazing! You UNDERSTAND! That means sooooooo much!

DH is being amazingly patient with me and so kind! That means so much too! Thank you, DH!

Ladies, hearing your stories of bravery is giving me hope. It's too soon, yet, but I will try to stay focused.

[emily_in_nc]

Silver~ I really feel what you are going through. I kinda thought that you would have a "delayed" reaction to Sam's death since you seemed awfully "together" after it happened. It's a really hard thing to take in a sudden death when it first happens. It's like our mind protects us from the full impact early on, and only lets the horror of it in in bits and pieces. I experienced that when my dad died in a car accident last year. It was horrible at first, of course, but I guess I was kind of numb, because the strongest, most debilitating grief, shock, anger, pain, were somewhat delayed. The sobbing until I was gasping for air came not as often the first two weeks after his death, but a month, two months later. I couldn't ride on the road for nearly 10 months afterwards because I felt so small and vulnerable, and like I was surely going to be killed as well. I didn't want my DH to ride either as my fear of losing someone else that I loved was so great.

It seems like your own accident may have allowed you to experience the full shock and emotion of witnessing Sam's death. You're experiencing your own accident, the pain and shock and fear of that, but you're also grappling with the death of a fellow cyclist that you WITNESSED. That is truly "heavy" and is bound to exacerbate your fear response greatly. You need to give yourself time and not pressure yourself to get out there before you're ready. And don't let your DH, as wonderful as he is, do that either.

Big hugs: {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Silver }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

~Emily

[silver]

thank you, emily. That is exactly what I am feeling.

[silver]

OK, one final post and then this will be a testosterone free forum again...and I will return to my nearly all male forum of vintage mercedes owners...

Listening to the stories of all these broken bones, I'd swear we were talking about a pro-football team, not a woman's forum.;) :o :D

It's good to see that there is no "gender gap" in biking...let's look forward to the time that there's no gender gap anywhere else as well:)

So, silver's estrogen laden, but testosterone filled hubby surrenders the floor to the superior experiences, support, and intellect of the wonderful women of TE.

[luv'nAustin]

how about this:

Just jump on your bike, Mike
get a new lid, Sid
you don't need to be shy, Sy
Just get yourself free

Hop in the lane, Jane
You don't need to be tame
just try it and see, Bea
and set yourself free

[Geonz]

Creative, brilliant, and strong bunch of ladies here. I am in awe.

[luv'nAustin]

Wait, how about one more from me!

First start in the gym, Kim
go to class and just spin, Lynn
and soon you'll be ready, Freddy
to set yourself free

Then pick a new route, Scout
and zip up the hill, Jill
Don't worry 'bout speed, Raheed
you got all you need

[silver]

you're good at this, luv! :D

[luv'nAustin]

Silver,

You really are an inspiration to me! I have no doubt that you will be back on your bike when the time is right. Don't rush...take the time to heal properly and let your wonderful hubby love on you a little longer. (love on you...a new term I learned after moving to Texas two years ago. I think it means "to spoil, or pamper") Be good to yourself and feel what you need to so that you can move forward with peace and grace.

Have you ever tried yoga? My center offers a class called restorative yoga for people who are recovering from injuries. It would not only help with keeping your muscles limber, but it could work wonders for your peace of mind as well.

Hugs to you and your family. I'll keep you in my prayers for awhile longer, if you don't mind.

Karri

[Triskeliongirl]

OK, one final post and then this will be a testosterone free forum again...and I will return to my nearly all male forum of vintage mercedes owners...

Hey Mr. Silver, why not create your own user name. No one says only women can participate. We really appreciated you letting us know about the accident, and keeping us updated on Silver's progress. We are here to help you both get through this. Its interesting. When I told my husband about this, he said 'she's gotta get back on the horse' whereas my reaction was she needs to heal first, and then she can get back on the horse. I agree that right now Silver is actually processing the horrible accident she witnessed only 2 weeks before her own. It was only after my husband had a bad cycling accident several years after my cycling accident, that my fears returned at an even more intense level. Fear is good, if it makes us ride safer, and more defensively, but fear is not good if it immoblizes us. But we all need to work through this stuff, and maybe time off the bike will let Silver figure out how to be a safer rider when she is ready to get back on.

[salsabike]

Hey Mr. Silver, why not create your own user name. No one says only women can participate. We really appreciated you letting us know about the accident, and keeping us updated on Silver's progress.

I've been wanting to say that too, actually. You're a good guy and we were glad to have you here. Silver....it'll be okay. It'll get better.