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indysteel
10-27-2006, 10:43 AM
I just got a call from my best friend. She's hiking with her new-ish boyfriend this week along the Oregon Coast. She was going on and on (as well she should) about how beautiful it is, how much fun they're having, how great he is, etc. I finally had to stop her because I was starting to lose it, and now I'm in a full-blown trying-not-to-cry at work pityfest.

In short, I'm still heartbroken about my breakup in August. I've come a along way, but it still hurts. I tell myself that it's better that we're not together. He was close but no cigar, but if nothing else, I miss the idea of being with someone. It certainly doesn't help that it's been raining here for several days, I've worked like a dog all week and that I desperately need a vacation. I don't begrudge my friend her happiness, but it's hard to witness sometimes.

I'm trying to keep this in perspective, but I'm feeling blue. I better go to yoga tonight.....

No response needed really; I just needed to express how I'm feeling.

Thanks.

kaybee
10-27-2006, 10:48 AM
How about a virtual hug? {{{{HUG}}}

Hope you feel better soon.

KB

Geonz
10-27-2006, 11:30 AM
Learn and grow where you are (and go to yoga) ... and have a hug...

{{{{{indy}}}}}

develop some of that steel :)

BE STRONG

GROW

MOVE FORWARD.... probably you don't need to hear this but... you're worth your measure in titanium (or carbon frame :)) with or without someone to be with. Read your own signature :) :) :)


Sue (who's spent most of her life with lots of *friends* but not partners... and had tons of fun...I keep forgetting to be unhappy single...)

bcipam
10-27-2006, 11:33 AM
As mature as I am and as many relationships and friendships I've have lost, break ups are still so hard to get through. I know there is nothing I can say to help you other than I hope time will heal. I've been dealing with my own lost of a friendship. It's basically been over for a year but it still hurts to think about it. Just I know everyday it's alittle easier (not much I grant you that but I can see someday I will be over the jerk... um I mean "friend").

Try to do things you enjoy and will take your friend off your loss. I know for me, late nights, when I try to sleep are the worse. I've been trying to get through it by having a good book nearby. Once my thoughts drift to him I pull out the book and start reading. My mind calms down and I can sleep.

Anyway hang that. We can try and get through this together.

mimitabby
10-27-2006, 11:53 AM
Indysteel,
I'm sorry you're suffering. Heck i'm weepy because I won't see my DH for 2 weeks. Is that pathetic or what?
he's going to be bicycling in the Phoenix area and i'm going to Italy. and I feel so lonesome because he's far away.

I hope you can fill your time with some fun distractions. that helps.

Kimmyt
10-27-2006, 12:11 PM
It does take some time to get out of the weepy stage. I still remember when I had broken up with a very serious longterm guy. I hated being single.

After awhile though, I loved it. There was a lot there to make it enjoyable. Give yourself some time. Of course you're going to long for some parts of coupledom, but after a while you will start realizing the joy in being single, and there's alot of that!

Having learned to fully love my singleness, I finally met a guy and had a really hard time adjusting to coupleness too, so it works both ways!

Thistle
10-27-2006, 02:19 PM
((((( Indy )))))

pooks
10-27-2006, 03:39 PM
Indy, go to yoga, by all means.

And I do believe this calls for chocolate.

CyclChyk
10-27-2006, 05:35 PM
Time can be our geatest friend or our worst enemy. It's passes slow when you are watching the clock (The worst enemy part. The pain part). But when it does pass, you find yourself in a better, stronger, smarter place (the great friend part).

Now..... go get a bottle of chianti and some chocolate covered strawberries and veg out while watching How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days..... yoga will still be there tomorrow.

(please do this. Let me live this vicariously thru you. I really want the chianti and chocolate covered strawberries..... while watching Matt ;) )

{{{{Indy}}}}

Bikingmomof3
10-27-2006, 06:00 PM
(((((((((((indy))))))))))))))))

ClockworkOrange
10-28-2006, 04:23 PM
Hi Indy

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y272/Missbe/Monkey_hides.gifHope today will be a better day...........http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y272/Missbe/bighugs.png


Sally

indysteel
10-30-2006, 05:49 AM
Thanks for your support. Thankfully, I'm feeling better now. The nice weather this past weekend and a good ride yesterday helped. Through this whole breakup experience, I've learned to ride out the bad days and rejoice in the good days. Fortunately, the good days are becoming more and more plentiful. It's nice to know that I can come here for support on the bad days though! Part of being "indysteel" through this whole thing has been to acknowledge and articulate my sadness rather than to suppress it, i.e., to actually deal with the breakup rather than to bulldoze over it, which has been my habit in the past.

The breakup sucks though. My ex-BF is a really good man, with a tremendous amount going for him. Too bad that he doesn't see that though. As our relationship progressed, I came to realize that he's suffering from depression (at least in my opinion). In the very least, he has some issues that he's not really dealing with. As a result, he's (a) emotionally unavailable and (b) not an appropriate or healthy choice for me as a partner. So, while I'm confident that I did the right thing in ending the relationship, there was much that I liked and respected about him, and I do miss him.

I've been single more often than not. I just don't often meet someone who floats my boat. It's not a pickiness thing exactly; it's just that my interests and personality don't seem to jive with a lot of the men where I live. Add to that the fact that I'm 37 and that most of the men who are "age appropriate" are already married, and it's made for some lonely years. That said, I am a pretty independent person (which partially explains my screen name) and there's much about my single life that I love. It's very easy for me to settle back into singledom without giving much thought to men. I'm trying hard to resist that urge this time around. I'm not quite ready to move onto another relationship, but I am happy to report that I have a date next weekend with a fellow cyclist. Hopefully, I'll at least have some fun. I could use some fun.

Thanks again ladies! You're the best cyber friends a girl could have!

Kate

Bad JuJu
10-30-2006, 07:27 AM
Just catching this thread today, but I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better. Good luck with your upcoming date! But also nurture that independence, which will get you over the rough spots.

I don't know whether you're a dog person, but Cocoa sends a big, sloppy, dog kiss to help you feel better.:D