Met my personal trainer today

[Offthegrid]

I decided to get a trainer to help keep me motivated (I, um, have a habit of quitting and now that I'm single again I have the $). He's GREAT!

He's a cyclist, so he totally knew where I was coming from and understood my goals about triathlons and biking. Although he isn't a swimmer, he runs, too, so this is a good match. We couldn't stop talking (even during the fitness test), so I think this is perfect. I'm so excited! Plus now I know someone in real life who knows stuff about cycling, so I could ask him to help me with things like bike fit, nutrition on the bike, etc. (I have a hard time asking LBS.)

Yeah!

[Tri Girl]

Yay! Have fun with him! It's always nice to have someone to not only motivate you, but who shares similar interests and knows where you're coming from. :) Good luck with the training.

[KSH]

Wow... that sound great!

Lucky you to have found a perfect fit for you on the first try!

I'm curious... how do you have more money when you are single? I typically have less...cause I don't have a man paying for my meals. HA!

Good luck with your trainer... keep us updated on your progress!

[Offthegrid]

I'm curious... how do you have more money when you are single? I typically have less...cause I don't have a man paying for my meals. HA!

It's actually a sad, long story ...

I was engaged and had been living with my boyfriend for a year. He moved here from New Jersey after graduating college. I paid for everything but his car insurance.

He was supposed to be figuring out what he wanted to do with his career, but instead he worked in retail for a low wage. He kept promising he would get a better job or go back to school (he got a bachelor's degree on academic scholarship), and I believed his excuses for the 12 months we lived together. Finally I found out that he had been hiding credit card bills from me, and it turns out he was spending a lot of money without telling me where it was going -- even though I was paying for everything. I ended the engagement and kicked him out Sept. 1.

So now not only do I now have more money because I'm not paying for two people, but I also have freedom to do things he wouldn't want me to do, like exercise with a personal trainer.

In hindsight I was really stupid, but he was very convincing about wanting to get a better job. It still hurts me that he wouldn't get it together. And it is scary to be alone again. But I'm so much happier.

[KSH]

It's actually a sad, long story ...

I was engaged and had been living with my boyfriend for a year. He moved here from New Jersey after graduating college. I paid for everything but his car insurance.

He was supposed to be figuring out what he wanted to do with his career, but instead he worked in retail for a low wage. He kept promising he would get a better job or go back to school (he got a bachelor's degree on academic scholarship), and I believed his excuses for the 12 months we lived together. Finally I found out that he had been hiding credit card bills from me, and it turns out he was spending a lot of money without telling me where it was going -- even though I was paying for everything. I ended the engagement and kicked him out Sept. 1.

So now not only do I now have more money because I'm not paying for two people, but I also have freedom to do things he wouldn't want me to do, like exercise with a personal trainer.

In hindsight I was really stupid, but he was very convincing about wanting to get a better job. It still hurts me that he wouldn't get it together. And it is scary to be alone again. But I'm so much happier.


WOW! That's a tough story... and hard lesson to have learned.

You did the right thing believing him... he's the @ss for lying to you. You trusted me and he misused that trust.

I have to say though... WAY TO GO... on not marrying him! So many women would forgive the man... and then marry him... only to end up in a miserable marriage.

Sometimes, doing the right thing... doesn't feel good... but you know it's the right thing to do...and someday you look back and feel good about making the right decision.


Finally, I completely understand your story. I kind of lived though that myself. Except I didn't find out what a liar mine was until AFTER we were married.

And yea, my ex preached to me about how he wanted to do something with his life, etc... but yet he kept losing his job... and was perfectly OK with not working... and letting me pay for everything. (Mind you, this was the least of our "problems"... he was also cheating on me, lying to me about what he was up to... and started doing meth the last 6 months were were together, and it was behind my back.)

Although I couldn't, so I ran up $25,000 in credit card debit that he left me with to pay off. And, I even had to pay for the divorce that he asked for.... and he didn't show up to the court hearing when the divorce was final.

I have to say though, I am THANKFUL every single day that he left me. It was the best day of my life. My life was miserable with him... and now I have a wonderful life... and I'm never miserable. I'm so happy to have my life now! And now days, I have this wonderful boyfriend who pays for MY meals... and has a steady job.

[HappyAnika]

I just wanted to say Hooray for getting crappy men out of our lives and moving on, single but happy, without them. Good for you! It takes courage and its tough, but you totally did the right thing. Then you followed it up with another great thing, getting a personal trainer. Keep us posted on the training!

[KSH]

Hey, we haven't heard an update.

Is it still going well?

[Offthegrid]

Absolutely. I really like the trainer. I mean, I know I'm paying the guy, but it's just great to have someone to talk with about cycling and bikes and stuff because I don't have that person in real life. (And I'd be too embarrassed to talk to "real" cyclists because of my weight.)

I lost 14 pounds in October and weigh-in is tomorrow night. I feel good about it, though, because I've been working very hard. I've also been tracking every calorie that goes into my mouth. I ate an average of more calories per day this week, but did more exercise so I have a lower average net calories.

But emotionally I have to admit this has been a *very* tough week. :( I feel like I'm standing on a giant house of cards that could fall at any second.

I'm not even sure how to explain it, and perhaps the book "Heft on Wheels" tells it best. But, here goes ...

This could all be gone in an instant. I could slip back to old habits SO easily. I've done it 1,000 times before. Miss one workout, eat a Big Mac and fries, eat some donuts, feel ashamed and skip another workout. And that's that.

I really *want* to succeed this time, though. And not to be skinny or find a BF or buy different clothes. But because I want to bike fast. And I want to swim well. And I want to run. Right now I can only walk because my size seriously increases risk of injury if I try to run. If I can just lose another 15 to 20 pounds and work until I can jog a 5K, I think I can make it. But it takes a long time to lose 20 pounds, and it's hard to be patient knowing I have so far to go.

And I'm SOOOO tired of people saying I'm incredible "for someone my size." I just want to do a good job for an average person. :rolleyes:

Sorry, rant over. Did I say it's been a tough week emotionally? But I'm hanging in there.

[velogirl]

Patience is one of the hardest lessons to learn. I have a little carved rock on my bathroom counter that says "patience" and reminds me daily that I need to slow down and let the process happen (whatever that process is).

Weight loss is a tough one. On the positive side, you've seen some really good progress in just one month. I bet you're stronger as well as having lost some weight. That should make you feel happy and hungry for more (no pun intended). I had a health condition that no matter what I did, I didn't lose weight. It was so frustrating to not see progress. So be happy that you are.

In regard to weight, remember that it took years to become overweight. It didn't happen overnight. And you can't reverse the process overnight either. This is where the patience comes in.

Remember, you're in control. You've controlled your nutrition and your exercise. And you've done great! You can keep doing it. You'll have good days/weeks/months and you'll have times that frustrate you as well. Just keep it in perspective, draw on your support systems when you need to, and you'll reach your goals before you know it!

Lorri

[KSH]

his could all be gone in an instant. I could slip back to old habits SO easily. I've done it 1,000 times before. Miss one workout, eat a Big Mac and fries, eat some donuts, feel ashamed and skip another workout. And that's that.

I really *want* to succeed this time, though. And not to be skinny or find a BF or buy different clothes. But because I want to bike fast. And I want to swim well. And I want to run. Right now I can only walk because my size seriously increases risk of injury if I try to run. If I can just lose another 15 to 20 pounds and work until I can jog a 5K, I think I can make it. But it takes a long time to lose 20 pounds, and it's hard to be patient knowing I have so far to go.

And I'm SOOOO tired of people saying I'm incredible "for someone my size." I just want to do a good job for an average person.

Sorry, rant over. Did I say it's been a tough week emotionally? But I'm hanging in there.

Well, I don't know your size... and maybe we are the same size... but I will tell you how my life goes.... and I bet you can relate.

I gain weight...and then my clothes don't fit and I start feeling bad about myself. The pizza, Taco Bueno, eating out... catches up to me.

So, I go on a "healthy eating plan". I watch every calorie that goes in my mouth... I exercise (well, I always exercise)... and I start to lose weight.

My clothes fit again, I feel good about myself... so I start saying, "Oh, it's OK to eat that ONE bad meal Karen"... and so on.

Then, before I know it, the weight is back. And the cycle starts again. Unfortunately, I don't always LOVE to eat good food.

It's a never ending struggle. And each year it just gets harder... with age and all that. But somehow, I find the inner strength to do it again and again.

I don't have any answers for you... because I haven't found the answers myself.

I can just tell you that I understand... and I wish you the best in staying focused and reaching your goals of being able to swim, bike and run. You can do it. Everytime you feel like slipping back into your old ways... remind yourself WHY you are NOT eating that crappy food and walk away from it. Focus on the 14 pounds you have lost... obviously you know how to lose weight... so keep it up.

GOOD LUCK!!!!

[shoerbee]

Hi OfftheGrid!
Congrats on your commitment and success, and for making the right choice about that man!
Reading your posts, i sort of feel that I am in a similar place in life, and finding soooooo much support from this forum!
If you ever want an email buddy so that we can keep each excited about all of this, I would sure love it! Actually, I could sure USE it!
Brigitte shoerbee@gmail.com

[Bikingmomof3]

Offthegrid,
You are doung an excellent job! Keep up the good work and know there will be bad days. The most difficult thing I had to overcome is forgiving myself if I induldged. I would either exercise like a mad woman the following days or wallow in junk food for a week. Now I allow myself to be human, without the guilt.

[eclectic]

Can I join the club ? ? ?

First of all I got rid of the extra male baggage about 9 years ago after hauling it around for 20 years. Congratulations for having the strength and courage to do it a lot sooner

When I was young I never had to battle excess pounds - now it is constant and I get REALLY tired of it! I can never lose weight swimming or biking which of course are my two favorite activities. I am trying to drop another 20 lbs because I thought it is cheaper to drop it off my body than to lighten up my bike:) But then I hear all those nummy things calling my name, then the stress hits (usually time crunches and tiredness) and all my resolve flies out the window.
Now that I live alone it is a lot easier - I control what comes into the house. DBF has INCREDIBLE will power so of course he has all the goodies at his house - but because they are his I am not tempted to eat them all :)

I have been doing so good since mid september and have dropped 10 lbs but the last few days I have been a poop and just SICK of it. Pizza, cake, candy bring it on.
I hope once I get my training routine established I can get an eating routine going again - it seems like I have time for one or the other, work out - no time to cook healthy, buy groceries and cook healthy no time to workout.

Once again WORKING to pay bills gets in the way of EVERYTHING :mad:

Waa waa waa - there I'm done :D

[rocknrollgirl]

Hi Guys....

Off the Grid....you can't quit now....you have a sprint tri this spring to do right???

I know it is hard, and when you get tired and stressed the bad food seems to do the trick, but if you start to think of yourself as an athlete in training, and not a woman on a diet, it may change your outlook.

You will bike faster, and swim faster, and the run will come. It may feel like a house of cards, but you have already built a solid foundation under the house. It may sway, but IT WILL NOT FALL......

You can so do this.....

Devilman Triathlon right?????

Ruth...
training by your side in NJ......

[eclectic]

Hi Guys....

Off the Grid....you can't quit now....you have a sprint tri this spring to do right???

I know it is hard, and when you get tired and stressed the bad food seems to do the trick, but if you start to think of yourself as an athlete in training, and not a woman on a diet, it may change your outlook.

Ruth...
training by your side in NJ......

Thanks rockinrollgirl - very good point

I am trying to reframe my thinking - Part of the problem is I don't consider myself an athlete or athletic - I think I need to start reframing that thinking too.

I don't know what it will take to do it, I logged 2049 miles on my bike this year, completed a century, swam competitively and won my age group and I still don't think I am at all athletic - just active. DUH ! ! !

[rocknrollgirl]

My whole outlook changed as soon as I started to think of myself as an athlete. I do not have a weight issue, but I am 44...oops no 45 as of Sunday, and recovery is a huge issue. I need to make sure that I train right and eat right and recover right.

I do all of those things better as an athlete than as just a woman working out.

It actually stopped me in my tracks the first time I was shopping in a store and I said to the sales person....I am a competitive athlete....

HEY WORLD!!!! I AM A COMPETITIVE ATLETE!!!!

So start treating yourselves better. You are driving a beautiful expensive human machine that only runs on good fuel.

Offthegrid, when you check back in, I have been thinking about you all day. I made a list of sprint tri's in the south jersey area this spring....I will send it to you and we can pick one.

Ruth

[KSH]

Thanks rockinrollgirl - very good point

I am trying to reframe my thinking - Part of the problem is I don't consider myself an athlete or athletic - I think I need to start reframing that thinking too.




Right there with you!

Sure, I think I'm athletic.. in the sense that I workout a lot, but I don't see myself as a true athlete.

I guess to me, to be an athlete, you have to WIN. I have never won at anything I have done. I'm not absolutely horrible, but I am just not good enough to win.

When someone says I am an athlete, I don't agree... that is for sure!

[Offthegrid]

Thanks for all the support guys! It really does mean a lot to me that people are listening and actually care.

I'm not even remotely thinking about quitting now, it's just that I fear that I will quit eventually because I always have in the past. Make sense? It's like a smoker who's quit for a month but fears failure.

Rocknroll girl, I'm still planning to do Devilman in May; Thundergeist in June; (July is open except going to Ironman Lake Placid on the 21 and 22); a tri in Oregon with a friend in August; and Danskin and City to Shore in September.

Have you done Devilman or Thundergeist? Are they friendly for newbies?

I also pretty much am trying to complete a 5K every month so that I have to keep active. I'm just so afraid of falling off the bandwagon, and if my schedule is full, then I'll always have something to train for.

[KSH]

I also pretty much am trying to complete a 5K every month so that I have to keep active. I'm just so afraid of falling off the bandwagon, and if my schedule is full, then I'll always have something to train for.

That's a perfect plan right there!

I know when I sign up for an event, I am motivated to train, so I won't make a food of myself on race day!

[rocknrollgirl]

I am in for the Thundergust....I had it on my list. Now as far as The Devilman...I found an even sprintier one in May with a 1/4 mile swim, 12 mile bike, and 3 mile run.

I might start with that shorter one in May just to grease the wheels. The Devilman is a bit longer distances. Let me know if you want info.....

Ruth

[Offthegrid]

I lost 2.5 pounds this week, bringing my total lost since Oct. 1 to 17 pounds. Woo hoo! Just 3 more pounds and I'll be down 20.

Ruth, send me the info on the shorter tri. If they're not the same day, I may just do both -- more for the experience of the open water swim. In my Danskin tris, that's what really killed me. I panicked, and I was one of the last ones out of the water.

In fact it'd be really helpful if you would be willing to get together to be my open water swim buddy sometime in the spring. I don't know anyone who swims, so I can't really do it myself.

If the tris are the same day, I'll have to think about it. I actually would like to see the Devilman course to see if I want to do the half Ironman distance there next year. *gulp*

I had heard Thundergeist was a good race. We should meet for dinner or something the night before perhaps. I'll probably get a hotel.

- Susie

[Bikingmomof3]

Wow, that is some seriously fast weight loss! Keep up building lean muscle. :) You sound like you have a very good summer plan of events. :cool:

[Offthegrid]

I talked to him today about feeling like I'm going to go back on my old habits and that May seems so far away for an event.

He said we're going to do mini-indoor triathlons once a month (with rowing instead of swimming). This way I can track my progress and have something to look forward to.

He's also going to teach me to do squats. I've never done them out of fear of doing them wrong and hurting myself.

And he gave me his blessing to begin jogging Christmas Day. I'm walking now at 4.2 mph. I should be down at least another 10 pounds by Christmas, and that truly will be the greatest gift -- to be able to jog.

I feel so much better thanks to all the support here and support from him.

[KSH]

I talked to him today about feeling like I'm going to go back on my old habits and that May seems so far away for an event.

He said we're going to do mini-indoor triathlons once a month (with rowing instead of swimming). This way I can track my progress and have something to look forward to.

He's also going to teach me to do squats. I've never done them out of fear of doing them wrong and hurting myself.

And he gave me his blessing to begin jogging Christmas Day. I'm walking now at 4.2 mph. I should be down at least another 10 pounds by Christmas, and that truly will be the greatest gift -- to be able to jog.

I feel so much better thanks to all the support here and support from him.

Those mini-tri's sound fun! Those will be very motivating.

Squats... don't be scared. Once you get the form down and if you don't put too much weight on... you will be fine.

Jogging Christmas Day... COOL! What a wonderful Christmas gift to yourself... weight loss and jogging!

You are well on your way! Keep it up! *Hugs*