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cherinyc
10-02-2006, 05:55 AM
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he
put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home.
You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even
one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too
un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the
sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.
Caution... They Walk Among Us

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him
up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my
brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she
shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff." They
Walk Among Us!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a
call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I
told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day,7 days a week." He
responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call
quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" They Walk Among Us!

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard
one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on
her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't
think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". . They Walk Among Us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a
seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk... They Walk
Among Us!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.... They Walk Among Us!

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip
out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and
ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
They Walk Among Us!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional
and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived
yet?"... They Walk Among Us!

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to
go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding.
"Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.

They walk among us, AND reproduce.

SCARY isn't it?

RoadRaven
10-02-2006, 10:15 AM
Cheri... thanks for the morning wake-up smile... its 7am here now - have spent a couple of hours on the PC (sleepless last night)... might go and have brekky soon, but these were great.

Tri Girl
10-02-2006, 01:52 PM
hee hee. Sad, but true. Made me laugh! Thanks!:D

Kitsune06
10-02-2006, 04:37 PM
They walk among us, reproduce, and have like 6 kids. :eek:

Tri Girl
10-02-2006, 06:22 PM
They walk among us, reproduce, and have like 6 kids. :eek:

...and then I have to teach them in school! :eek:

Trek420
10-02-2006, 06:35 PM
Kitsune06 "They walk among us, reproduce, and have like 6 kids. :eek" all of which Tri_girl has to teach, they vote but more important to us TE gals.....they drive :eek: :eek: :eek:

True call: one day at the phone company customer calls says he's feels sure that his call return service (that's *69 to you) does not work.

So I ask him what's wrong with it.

He feels he should not have to pay for it because of course it would never work, there are too few numbers in S-T-A-R-6-9.

==============
This call happens more often than you think:
"I'm calling to move my phone service"
"I'd be happy to help you with that, can I get your new addres?"
"It's POB 1234, the zip code's the same"
"You'll be moving to a Post office box?...."
"yes"
"alrighty, do you need any inside wire work done inside the PO box?"
...then he gets it...

====================
Customer calls about her DSL it's not working, normally that's a quick transfer to tech support but their TTY line is busy so I offer to help.

Ask her what's wrong, it won't connect.
What type of modem do you use? She asks me to wait...

Comes back "it's a super speedy model xyz"
Fine ok, the lights on the top how many are there and are they all green, yellow or red?
She asks me to wait.

Comes back, there are three lights and they are all blank.
"blank?" I say.

"Yes blank" So i begin to describe how to to a hard boot...restart the computer turn off the modem... "wait" she says....

"You mean I have to take the modem out of the box to have DSL?"

and they have phone service and computers.

Xrayted
10-02-2006, 07:32 PM
Customer calls about her DSL it's no working

What type of modem do you use? She asks me to wait...

Fine ok, the lights on the top how many are there and are they all green, yellow or red?
She asks me to wait.

Comes back, there are three lights and they are all blank.
"blank?" I say.

"Yes blank"

"You mean I have to take the modem out of the box to have DSL?"

and they have phone service and computers.

YOU..................SO...................ROCK!!!
I really needed a laugh today. (Not too good of a day in Lancaster County, PA. Lots of tears at the hospital all day. :( **There's all kinds that walk among us.)

THANKS!!!! for the pick me up.

Cindy

Kitsune06
10-02-2006, 07:58 PM
Yeah, we had modern marvels while I was working for (I can say it since I'm not working with them anymore, right?) Adobe Systems...

This lady called me to say "My Ah-dobe's broke".
How hard is it to pronounce 'Adobe'? ... as in the mud, or the big desert dwellings made of said mud, or the little stream? 'a-DOE-bee'. Geez.
"Which program do you have?"
"Adobe."
"Which Adobe program, Ma'am?"
"5.0."
"...Reader?"
"What's this 'Reader'? I'm callin' because my Ah-dobe's broke, and you're asking me about a reader?!"
"Ma'am... Adobe Reader is one of our programs..."
"That's not what I'm calling about."
*put on mute for a moment. Strangle my coffee-cup. Off mute* "Alright, ma'am... What I need to determine before directing your call to our Tech Support line is what program you're using. What comes up on the screen when you click the icon?"
"Adobe R-..."
"...Ma'am?"
*click*

The first few times, you laugh. After that, it disturbs you more and more. Trek, God Bless you for managing call center work. Every day I felt myself closer and closer to true misanthropy.

Trek420
10-03-2006, 05:00 AM
I debated telling this but what the heck. If any TE gals are skip tracers or collection agencies, would you guys stop doing this??? :o

There's a type of fraud we sometimes get perpetrated by skip tracers and collection agencies. Usually they have 2 out of three of the info they need; they know the name and address of the person they want but not the number....

So they call pretending to be a service rep who does not have access to the sytems.

Do they think we are stupid?

Don't answer that. :cool:

If I can't get into ____ I ask my podmate, if the system is down all over I'm not going to call other offices, Cheese and Rice.

But it gets better.

These fraudsters call da'phone co, say they are from Disabled Services (not what our dept is called anymore but whatever).

But what's funny is they call OUR office say they are from the New York or Billings MT office of DS.

We have one office, I work in it, there's NO other office of "Disabled Services", there are maybe 20 of us there so we all know everyone here and... the 6,000 AT&T service reps know all of us too. So Brphtttt :p

But wait it gets better, they always have some fake digitally enhanced speach impaired person on the line.

Not a real disabled person, it's fake.

We take calls from speach impaired customers all day, we can tell, do you think we're stupid?

Don't answer that.

It must have worked *once* so they keep trying.

So one day I get the call and oh &^% here it goes again, the caller says he's "Dana from Disabled Services in Chicago and I can't get into some systems."

Dana sits near me, Dana is very much a gal.

Well, you gotta work so might as well have some fun while doing it.

"Hi Dana" I say, "I used to work with some folks in that office. Are Brian and Ellen still there?"

"uh, yeah" he fakes saying hi to them.

"Let's get started how can I help you" like I don't know :cool:

Usual B** S***, he has a speach impaired customer and trying to place am order and does not know the working service at the address, can I look it up blah blah blah?

He brings the "customer" on the line, "myrgb wihtll zxxxxmm erpt yppphtlglgl" they say not even sounding like one with a speach impairment.

So I do what we always do....notes and flags all over the non published account "unauthorised person trying to get info, do not give out number etc etc" let the front desk know about the call, they notify all the reps in every center to "be alert we need more lerts" ... all the normal stuff.

Meanwhile since that takes time let's have fun with system names!!

I ask Dana "did you try looking it up in PORFT?"
"huh"
"yeah, PORFT, you should have that, you have the new back up system?"
"uh, it's giving me some weird error messages"
"does it say the FLEZZBOTS are missing?"
"uh, yeah, that!!"
"well that's because you're not holding down the STI shifter, so hold that down. Now it should you the number in the DESPOT section"
"uh, no it's..."

By now my coworkers are looking at me oddly. :cool: more so than usual.


"Dana, I bet it's saying you need the SAGAM, right?"
"uh, yeah, that's it, says it needs the SAGFRAM"
"ok, type in DORF NORTH in the non folded part of the ARNICA and you should get your number...."
"it still doesn't give..."

By now I've done what I normally do so I do what I do
"Dana" asks for the number.
"Dana, if you're authorised you should see that"
"Dana" hangs up..

Can't wait for someone to call asking for the SAGFRAM in DORF NORTH :p

they walk amoung us, they work for collection agencies, and they're trying to get your non published number from da'phone co.

cherinyc
10-04-2006, 06:51 AM
Trek - I don't know how you do it?

Trek420
10-04-2006, 10:20 AM
I don't know how I do it either but that call is legendary in our office :D