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Veronica
09-26-2006, 05:32 PM
I'm giving my students (4th and 5th graders) a creative writing assignment. They will need to write about a day in the life of some inanimate object. Here's my sample that I will be sharing with them. if you have any ideas for how I can make it funnier, please share. Remember they have to be G rated. :p

V.


Hmm… today’s Saturday and it’s awfully early for the humans to be getting up. My human, Veronica, rides me a lot. We’ve been to lots of different places. I wonder if we’re going for a ride today. Maybe she’s doing another double century. OOOOO, those are fun, but they’re hard and make me tired.

She’s got her riding clothes on. Yippee, we’re going somewhere. I feel sorry for Blue, he doesn’t get out as much as I do. The other human, Blue’s rider, just carried me out to the car. Poor Blue, he’s not coming again. That must mean we’re doing a long ride. Blue says his rider isn’t crazy enough to do those.

It’s still dark. Blue’s rider, Thom, has put the headlight and the GPS on me. I’m glad I have such a bright light, my rider likes to go fast and the light makes it easier to be sure we don’t crash. I’m happy to say we’ve never crashed. We came close once… but that’s another story. Let's just say it wasn't my fault.

We’re finally off. I can’t see very much. It is so dark out here. This road is kind of hilly. Round and round the pedals go. I really don't like the dark. There might be glass that could cut my tires.

The sun is beginning to come out. Zowie, look at that hill we’re going down. Weeeeeee! She never says it, but I can tell she thinks it. I'll say it for her. No, not more up. Oh well, you can’t have the ups without the downs.

All day long we pedal. There is a lot of up. That was hard. I’ve heard Veronica say her right knee and butt are hurting her. I don’t know what would cause the knee problem. My pedals are on right. Maybe she worked too hard up that big hill called Mount Tam. I think there is a big pimple on the saddle. She calls it a rivet and it’s working its way out. I think it’s a pimple. I know her sitting on the saddle is beginning to hurt me!

I hope she doesn’t have to stop. It made me so sad when she didn’t finish that other really long, hard ride. My rider sure is determined. That’s the word Blue’s rider uses. He also says she’s mental. I wonder what that means. Maybe she's a nutcase.

We’ve been at this all day, and it’s beginning to get dark, AGAIN. I’m really getting tired. My wheels are exhausted! Veronica is a little worried because the chain is making a funny noise. It’s just dirty. I get so dirty on these long rides. She tries to keep me clean. She’s always putting air in my tires. Those frozen water bottles she puts on me are cold though!

Hey, look at that we’re back at the finish line. Blue’s rider is there waiting. Veronica is thrilled because this was our third long ride together. She is a little crazy, but I sure do love her.

I wonder when we’ll get to ride again.

Crankin
09-26-2006, 05:57 PM
Perfect example of first person point of view, V. I thought of writing something like this about my century, to share with the kids during free writing, but they already think I am crazy enough... you can't fool with 7th graders the same way you can with 4th and 5th...

Hope the lesson goes well.

Robyn

Veronica
09-26-2006, 06:01 PM
Thanks, I'll let you know. Today was make a list of inanimate objects day. :p

V.

Bad JuJu
09-26-2006, 07:55 PM
Sounds like a great idea, Veronica. The kids will probably love the part where the bike wonders whether you're a nutcase, and the "pimple" on the saddle--bet they'll enjoy that, too. Could you add something about brakes--hoping the brakes will hold out on the hills--scaredy bike, maybe? Anyway, a great idea for a writing assignment.

I'll bet you have some fun in your classes.:D

KnottedYet
09-26-2006, 08:14 PM
that was great! Can I come join your class?

Squeaky
09-27-2006, 04:25 AM
I don't have anything to add, I just wanted to say how cute!

Bikingmomof3
09-27-2006, 05:33 AM
I loved the story. Your class will enjoy the assignment. :)

GLC1968
09-27-2006, 06:38 AM
I totally loved this story! I'm sure your class will as well! :)

Jo-n-NY
09-27-2006, 08:08 AM
Ditto for me...I loved that story. What a wonderful creative teacher you must be!!!!

~ JoAnn

Veronica
09-27-2006, 04:52 PM
Today was pick the object you're going to write about and brainstorm what happens to it.

They've chosen things like the soccer ball from their last game, the pool they train in, their pencil, the ballwall wall, their shirts, one kid chose his bed...

They're excited about writing. And I still haven't shown them my example yet, just my brainstorming list. :)

V.

BleeckerSt_Girl
09-27-2006, 05:13 PM
Veronica, that is a GREAT idea. I tmakes ME want to write one! I wish I had you for a teacher when I was little.