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Dogmama
09-22-2006, 05:57 PM
I had to ease my German Shepherd down this afternoon. She was 14 years old with degenerative nerve disease. Today, for the first time, she could not walk. It was time. DH and I stayed with her while she slowly left us.

She saved my life. When I got her, I was seriously suicidal. She was a puppy and brought so much joy. She had a better life than many children. Home cooked food, her own bed and fan, steps to climb into our bed, her own toy box stuffed with toys and even a black cat to chase around.

So, now is the transition. The bed, the bowls, her collar. Later it will be her ashes. I have more German Shepherd things -- mugs, pictures, calendars, stuffed toys. Ugh. DH is taking it very hard.

Thanks for listening.

7rider
09-22-2006, 06:04 PM
Oh, NO!!
I'm so sorry, Dogmama.
My deepest sympathies to you and your DH.
I'll light a candle to guide her to the bridge tonight.
Hugs to you both.

colby
09-22-2006, 06:13 PM
I'm so sorry DogMama. :(

We had a German Shepherd when I was growing up (he grew up with me!), and by the time I was in high school he was old and frail. His hips had started giving out on him, and we decided he was ready to go over the rainbow bridge peacefully, rather than enduring any more suffering. My mom and uncle were going to take him, but he disappeared, never to return. Wasn't on any of the humane society's "dog in the road" lists (he knew better), wasn't picked up by animal control anywhere, he was just... gone.

All I could think of was all those times we shared... I was walking to and from grade school and he would know to meet me at the fence so we could walk together. That look he gave when I tried to tell him to "go home!" instead of walking with me, the one that would convince me I was better off with him. I would come home after school (we had moved recently, so I had no friends), and we'd spend all afternoon together. I would have tea parties with my imaginary friends, and he'd always be there. Catch the frisbee, chase the ball, you name it, he'd do it. I'm still partial to German Shepherds every time I see them, they are devoted, loyal, great with kids, and all around good dogs.

May your dog and mine meet on the other side... they will make quite a pair. :) They will both live on in our memories forever, nothing can take that away.

mary9761
09-22-2006, 06:13 PM
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

I had to put my 14.5 year old "Smokey" put down a year and a half ago and it still hurts. We had him since he was a kitten barely weaned, he used to try to nurse my earlobes. I was with him at the end and rocked him like a baby for some time afterwards. My heart goes out to you.

Veronica
09-22-2006, 06:13 PM
I'm so sorry. Our babies mean so much to us, losing them is so hard. You have my deepest sympathy.

Veronica

maillotpois
09-22-2006, 06:16 PM
I'm on vacation in Hawaii and you made me cry.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Oh so sad. Take care.

Thistle
09-22-2006, 06:20 PM
dogmama, my heart breaks for you and DH. there is nothing to say that helps. hugs and more hugs.
Thea

CyclChyk
09-22-2006, 06:22 PM
I am so so sorry for your loss. Please find comfort in knowing that you did the right thing. The selfless thing. She is no longer in pain and I for one believe that no matter where her spirit is now, she is happy and healthy and carefree. She knows you love(d) her.

My deepest sympathies.

caligurl
09-22-2006, 06:25 PM
i'm so sorry..... it hurts so much when we lose our furbabies.....

HUGZ

Kitsune06
09-22-2006, 06:26 PM
Dogmama,
I'm so sorry for your loss. You did the right thing; it's a terrible thing for a dog to be so ill; and just not their way to linger. She brought you love and joy when you so needed them; comfort and a reason and place in this world, and now you could bring her solace after a happy, meaningful life.

I had a german shepherd- collie mix growing up- I was "his" baby, and he was so patient, helping me learn to walk, holding onto his back, cuddling with me, protecting me from everyone else. I could never understand, being so young, but he had epilepsy, and I lost him to a stroke just after I started school.
Still, he's always been Smilin' Jack for me, and I still remember telling my parents that I saw him that night in his room, just as he always was, smiling.

They're beautiful dogs, and I'm so happy your baby could grace your life the way she did... her effect will never be lost; her memories never gone.

xeney
09-22-2006, 06:42 PM
Dogmama, I'm so sorry. And I am sure that you know that you did the right thing, and that it doesn't make you feel any better, because you just want your buddy back. That's okay, too, to both know that you did the right thing and still wish you hadn't had to do it.

BleeckerSt_Girl
09-22-2006, 06:51 PM
It's SO hard to go through this with our beloved pets. They are so INNOCENT, like children. So painful to be the one to make the final decision, and then go through with it, be there with them and hold them. It's SO hard. My sympathies to you, only time will heal. Keeping their collar and a picture out and lighting a candle next to it every evening helped me more than once.

Raindrop
09-22-2006, 07:48 PM
I had to put down my great pyranees for the same reason and it was so hard so I totally empathize with you. The hardest thing was when I asked the vet when I would know it was time and he said, "when the dog loses his purpose." He told me the front of Nanook (my dog) would look strong and healthy, but when his back end gave out, he would no longer be able to be the protector that his breed was and for dogs like that (as yours was), it's time to let them go. (I only wish they'd treat people as kindly).

Still, it's hard for us to have to put away the parts of their lives. I hope you find a very special place for his ashes. My heart goes out to you and your husband. Take care of yourselves.

slinkedog
09-22-2006, 08:01 PM
I'm so sorry, Dogmama. I'll be thinking of you.

KnottedYet
09-22-2006, 08:04 PM
I am so sorry.

I've had to do that, too. And it really is the best thing, the kindest thing we can do. Ease them over and be with them to the very end.

They know they are loved.

(((((hugs)))))

Aggie_Ama
09-22-2006, 08:07 PM
(((Hugs))) I am so sorry Dogmama.

My co-worker and her partner had to put down their 20 year old cat last night. We were talking today how only pet people can understand the pain of having a sick animal or an animal that passes. People who don't love animals think it is silly how we grieve. These pets are our children!

Take care of yourself and DH.

snapdragen
09-22-2006, 08:19 PM
I'm so sorry dm. I'm sure having you and hubby with her at the end was a big comfort. You helped give her a good life, and knew when it was time to let her go. Hugs to you and hubby.

Bicyclette
09-22-2006, 08:44 PM
Dogmama -

I'm so sorry for your loss. She'll be waiting for you on the other side.

Much sympathy to you and you husband -

Pat

LBTC
09-22-2006, 08:58 PM
Being dogmama is hard but beautiful

<hugs>

You did the right thing and my heart goes out to you! I've asked my Yogi who's been at the rainbow bridge for almost 6 years now to welcome your furbaby. Yogi loved everybody, so I know they'll get along fine.

Our pets change us (for the better). Their love, their demands, their lives and their passings affect us in ways that make us better people. Feeling the sadness of the end of this part of their journey is part of what keeps us whole and human.

I know you're not ready now, but when you are, consider this for her ashes:
http://www.cheerspottery.com/
I think they are wonderful.

May it take a short time for the lump in your throat to become a warmth in your heart.

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

crazycanuck
09-22-2006, 10:40 PM
Dear Dogmama

I just want you to know that i'm thinking about you & your DH and would like to pass on a hug, a smile and some happiness.

I've never been through having to say goodbye to a loved pet but understand.

take care
c

Lise
09-23-2006, 03:58 AM
Dear Dogmama,

I am so sorry for this loss for you and DH. I know that you liberated your beautiful dog from a body that could no longer hold her spirit. When I held our beloved pups in my arms to let them go, I pictured their spirits leaping out as their bodies relaxed, and dancing and thanking us for freeing them from suffering. I miss them still, all these years later. I know that my cats get extra loving from me because of all the love I got from our dogs over the years.

Gentle best wishes for these difficult days. Lise

Dogmama
09-23-2006, 04:32 AM
Thank you, everybody. This is so hard. I have always had a dog in the house - always. This is the first time the house is empty.

Dogmama
09-23-2006, 04:54 AM
I just received an email from a co-worker that a faculty member was quite irritated that I wasn't as work yesterday - she had a grant that she wanted me to work on. This is the same dept that knocked me down on my performance evaluation because I "wasn't around" - that year, my husband had colon cancer, MRSA infection and hernia operation not to mention hospitalizations for dehydration due to chemo.

Just reconfirms my decision that the minute I'm eligible to retire, I'm gone. 30 years of this crap is enough. July 2007 can't come soon enough.

Oh and "wasn't around" didn't quite jive with the fact that I loose vacation every year because I don't have time to take it - or that they'll have to pay me $3,000 for unused sick time when I retire.

Ranting. Good to expend angry energy.

kaybee
09-23-2006, 07:04 AM
Dogmama, I'm so very sorry for your loss. You did the right thing, but I know it still hurts. I had to do the same thing 13 years ago (and it still makes me cry when I think about it), and know I'll be facing it again soon with Sam -- he's 16 years old. Please take comfort in the fact that you gave this wonderful dog a great, happy life and enabled her to go with dignity. My thoughts are with you.

Edited to add: You go ahead and rant all you want -- everyone here understands how you feel.

KB

esther231
09-23-2006, 07:21 AM
Dogmama, my heart goes out to you. Painful as all get out.

We had a dog named King that we had to put down. He had cancer. My DH could not bring himself to do it. We fought bitterly for a couple of weeks cause King was suffering before my DH admitted he knew it was the right thing to do but just couldn't. If I could, he would be grateful. So I took King to the vet and I was glad I did but I missed him like crazy. I would see people with dogs and I would get jealous.

Eventually, we found Maggie and we knew we wanted her. It's 14 years later and she's having a hard time getting around. She's on pain pills and heart pills but is just very old and her hips are terrible now. At least this time, we both agree that putting her down is better than letting her suffer. Our line in the sand is close to yours - when she can't get up and down the steps to go out, we'll go to the vet. Grateful that we won't be fighting this time but dreading saying goodbye to her. She's such a good dog.

What a mess I made of this. I came to give you a hug. I think I'm too much in the same boat right now to do a good job.

Hang in there. After King, we found Maggie. She helped us heal. Time might come when you find yourself falling in love all over again with another puppy or kitten. And falling in love always feels good.

Keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Bikingmomof3
09-23-2006, 07:23 AM
My deepest Sympathies Dogmama! I am so sorry the loss of your beloved companion. You did the right thing, you gave her a loving home and took care of her when she could no longer. I shall be keeping you and your husband in my prayers. ((((((((Hugs)))))))))

Xrayted
09-23-2006, 07:27 AM
Oh, I'm so very sorry for your loss. It's the hardest thing we as pet parents have to go through. I fully understand. Take comfort in knowing that you gave her a great life and much love while she was here. My thoughts are with you today.

Cindy

(My Cheyenne has been gone 3 years now and I still haven't been able to bring myself to adopt another. I know I did the right thing but it still hurts. She was the one who got me to try to walk again and brought me back into the land of the living. She gave me my smile back. I miss her so.)

Clare
09-23-2006, 07:30 AM
Dogmama,

I am very sorry for your loss. We had two shepherds that passed away within 1 year of each other, and they were only 9 yrs old. I remember so well, after our Sierra died, taking a walk with a friend and feeling such loss and sadness. And then, I had this distinct impression that Sierra was with us, and she was running and was tremendously happy and free from pain. That helped ease my sorrow at losing my best friend. Your love one is surely experiencing that joy at being free of pain and her old body. And I'm sure, she is sad, too, that she had to leave you.

Take special good care of yourself.

Clare

Trek420
09-23-2006, 07:31 AM
I am so sorry Dogmama :(

Lise
09-23-2006, 07:45 AM
Dogmama, this thread helped me remember something: Years ago I lived with a partner who had a German Short-Haired Pointer, Brett. Brett was pretty sick when my partner and I broke up. Perhaps six months after the break up, I dreamed that Brett came running down the hill to me, looked in my face, and licked my hand, and then frisked away. When I took my cat in to the vet later that week, he said, "I was so sorry we had to put Brett down." I told him that my ex and I were no longer together, but thanked him for letting me know. Turns out she died the day before the night when she came to me in that dream.

Their spirits never really leave us. (((Dogmama)))

And yeah, I'm rooting for 7/07 for you, too.

kaybee
09-23-2006, 08:19 AM
Dogmama, this thread helped me remember something: Years ago I lived with a partner who had a German Short-Haired Pointer, Brett. Brett was pretty sick when my partner and I broke up. Perhaps six months after the break up, I dreamed that Brett came running down the hill to me, looked in my face, and licked my hand, and then frisked away. When I took my cat in to the vet later that week, he said, "I was so sorry we had to put Brett down." I told him that my ex and I were no longer together, but thanked him for letting me know. Turns out she died the day before the night when she came to me in that dream.

Their spirits never really leave us. (((Dogmama)))

And yeah, I'm rooting for 7/07 for you, too.

Okay, that gave me chills!

KB

Dogmama
09-23-2006, 12:12 PM
I don't understand why, but animal spirits seem to be so much more free than ours. My old German Shepherd, Jenny died July 14 and Kati (my German Shepherd that I just lost) was born July 17. Kati's AKC name was: Jenny's Back in Black.

When I was with her while they were giving her the final shot, (crying uncontrollably and holding her head) I knew when her spirit had left. It was the oddest thing and came over me completely unbidden. I knew that the dog I was looking at was no longer Kati. Of course, DH and I still took time, cried, covered her with her favorite blanket, etc.

DH is having a terrible time. He has never been through this and it is bringing up all of his Vietnam memories of buddies who were killed in combat and he never grieved.

Lise
09-23-2006, 12:43 PM
DH is having a terrible time. He has never been through this and it is bringing up all of his Vietnam memories of buddies who were killed in combat and he never grieved.

Ah, my heart goes out to him. I hope he has somebody, maybe vet friends or even a counselor, that he could talk to.

Bluetree
09-23-2006, 01:19 PM
Dogmama

My condolences on your painful loss. My own family pet is 14 years old and starting to show significant declines for the first time. Her hearing is nearly gone and she sleeps oh so much. We've been lucky in that medication, massage and a lot of TLC are helping her through right now.
I only hope that when the time comes, I show as much courage as you... to realise when enough is enough, to do the most selfless, loving act and let her go.

emily_in_nc
09-23-2006, 02:16 PM
I am so sorry for your loss, Dogmama.

Like others here, we have an older pet, our beloved 14.5 year old Pepper, a wonderful, amazing, and ever-entertaining Boston Terrier. She is declining as well, just had a vet appt. this week for tests to figure out if she has diabetes, cushings, kidney failure, or something else entirely. I have been playing telephone tag with the vet since yesterday to get her results, and now have to wait until Monday morning since we were never able to connect. It's just so hard when they get old. I have also had to put down a dog a few years ago - our Lhasa Apso, Columbus, who made it to 15.5 years of age. It is such a difficult thing to have to do, even when it is time.

You never stop missing them, but time does help.

Wishing you peace and healing,

Emily

HipGnosis6
09-23-2006, 02:23 PM
My condolences....

I don't know what i'll do when I lose my precious kitties. They're no spring chickens, but they're the only companions I have.

Kitsune06
09-23-2006, 02:40 PM
I know... it's so hard knowing that I can't keep my kitties with me... DGF is allergic, so XDH and his gf keep them... I guess they're doing well, and they're happy, but when I visit, they don't remember me. :( ...and Tsuki pulled me through a very depressing time in my life. I wish there was some way to make dgf unallergic.:(

Trek420
09-23-2006, 04:38 PM
It's true what they say "the only thing wrong with dogs is they don't last long enough"

Trek~reformed cat person now owned by a mutt

Bad JuJu
09-23-2006, 04:48 PM
Just reading this now. I'm so very sorry for you and your dh, Dogmama. But as someone else said, it sounds like it was the right thing to do. Still, I know that doesn't make the grieving any easier. Thinking peaceful thoughts for you. (((hugs)))

DDH
09-24-2006, 07:57 AM
Dogmomma, I'm so sorry for you and your DH's loss. As many others we two had to put both of our GS dogs down many years ago. One had osteomalitis in his back and eventually could not move his back legs. The other had a stroke or something and things went hair wire with him. The first one my DH was on a hunting trip and was not here for but the second he took in himself and stayed. He came home a mess and was that way for days. It is so very hard to lose them. Reading your post brought back all that all over again. You go on without them, but you never forget their love and the love you have for them. It has been 7 years and we still talk about those two. They were around before we had our DS and a little while after and they were like our children. We have moved on and have two more dogs but they will never be like those two and we don't expect them to be. We love these two also, but I don't think we have ever gotten as close to these two. Not that we don't love them, we do, it's just different ya know.

My heart goes out to you both!!

SalsaMTB
09-24-2006, 08:38 AM
Dogmama,

I'm so sorry for your loss. As pet owners, we know that is something we may face in the future, but it doesn't make it any easier. I can't imagine how it will be if/when that time comes for one of my dogs. I'm sure you made the right decision though and your dog is in a better place. It will get easier with time.

With your husband, it's probably good that he is able to finally grieve the losses he had in his past. When I recently lost my grandfather, it helped me to finally grieve the losses of other family members that I wasn't able to at the time. It was extremely hard time, but after I got through it, it helped tremendously.

My thoughts are with you and your dh.

Jenn

Denise223
09-24-2006, 09:34 AM
Dear (((((((Dogmama & Hubby)))))))

I looked on the web for "Rainbow's Bridge", and I found this site.....

http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

Wishing you peace, comfort & Love,

Denise

Dogmama
09-24-2006, 11:47 AM
I know I'll have another dog but I don't want to rush into anything. I love GSD's, but DH is saying "Don't we want something a little...smaller?" NO! (I reply in my huffy-est voice!) "I only feel safe with a GSD." Truth told, my darling Kati has been mostly deaf & partially blind for several years & wasn't really much of a watch dog. But, just the presence of a German Shepherd is good - even if their muzzle is totally white.

We would walk past little dogs who would be lunging at their leashes barking like crazy - Kati didn't have a clue they were there unless she smelled them. She would just placidly keep walking. In her younger years, she would have been "open for business" on ANY dog that threatened her. Especially the snack-sized ones.

We had this happen repeatedly with a lady in the neighborhood. She would always say, "Oh, these little guys were bitten by a German Shepherd and they always react like this." Meanwhile, Kati is just limping along - no idea these creatures exist. I would tell this woman (repeatedly!) "Lady - as you can see, this old dog is mostly deaf & blind. She has no idea your dogs exist." But, alas, next time we would meet - same thing. Sheesh!

mtkitchn
09-24-2006, 12:59 PM
I'm just reading this, dogmama. Very, very sorry to hear of your loss.

latelatebloomer
09-24-2006, 05:27 PM
Dogmama, nothing else to say but, been there, & tears & hugs from me.

Popoki_Nui
09-24-2006, 05:48 PM
Love and warm healing thoughts to you and DH for your loss, and gentle journey wishes for your beloved companion. Been there many times too, and I empathize deeply.

Love and purrs,
Sherry and my cats: TikiNui, Kona, Ilipuakea, Montana, Kamali'i, and all my babies waiting at the Bridge.

aka_kim
09-24-2006, 06:09 PM
I know I'm a few days late, but I hope you and DH are now starting to heal. So sorry for your loss.

tygab
09-24-2006, 07:22 PM
Sorry for my delayed response as well, but I feel for you and your pup was lucky to have such a good caretaker. It is hard when it is time to let them go. I have two senior kitties with fairly serious conditions, so I just try to appreciate the time we have and do the best I can with their care.

many brighter days ahead...

margo49
09-24-2006, 07:52 PM
Thinking of you
James Herriot talks about losing dogs in one of his books. He said he always told people to get another one straight away. When one of his very own dogs died he found his own advice hard to take. But did it after his friends reminded him and nagged him about it.He said it worked out.Mind you the Brits have a different mind-set.

short cut sally
09-25-2006, 07:52 AM
Dogmama. am was reading your post, looking at my little "boy" -who's sound asleep next to me-, tears welling up and thinking how hard it must be for you and your DH. I want to wish you healing hopes and wishes and hugs and am sorry for your loss.
(replying after working all weekend)

chickwhorips
09-25-2006, 10:36 AM
dogmama and DH,

i'm sorry to hear of your loss. my thoughts go to you and your great memories that you have together. her spirit will always be with you.

big hugs.

mtbdarby
09-25-2006, 11:02 AM
DM and DH,
More hugs and heartfelt sympathies on your loss. I hope your husband is getting the help he needs to deal with all the old wounds this opening. May the healing begin for the both of you.

And tell work to shove it......man, they can be so insensitive sometimes!

latelatebloomer
09-25-2006, 05:55 PM
When we lost Reba, our shepherd, my DH took it so hard I was frightened for him. He had never had a dog before. I heard him say to his dad on the phone that it seemed a preview for all his losses to come, his parents, his siblings. A little like your DH connecting Kati's death to the loss of his friends. I had a talk with our farm vet who said that in his experience, women certainly grieved, but he saw men really brought to their knees. I wonder if women just live closer to the cycle of birth and death, and men push it away - so that when it comes, it rocks them to the core.

Take gentle care of each other, and I hope you can bring a new dog (but the right one!) into the house before long. That's what my family always did - it couldn't really take away the hurt but it helped to have a new life in the house, one that wasn't grieving.

It's been about 7 years since we lost Reba. I hate being dogless, but we're not home enough these days. When we had Reba, our schedules were staggered and she was only home alone 3 days a week. The goats aren't as needy - and they're very good companions, too.

annie
09-25-2006, 06:12 PM
Dogmama,

Just now read of your loss. (Was away over the weekend and finally caught up on TE threads.) My eyes are tearing and my heart aches for you. SO difficult to lose a loved companion of all those years. You know you showed your love in doing what needed to be done. My thoughts are with you as you slowly adjust to this new way of life. Your GS will always be in your memories.

annie